The MSTing of Breathe
By: Majin Vegeta
Original Fic: Mia Skywalker

Disclaimer: Permission was granted from the author of this for me to do this, as usual. As you all know by now, I will *not* MST a fic or something made by a fan without that person's full permission, yes. Oh, and it's another fic by Mia. ^_^ Let's see how the third cast takes one of her ficcys, shall we? ^_^ (And I'll bet you it won't be very well, either. Hehe. ^_^)

Notes: Today's MST is brought to you by the number `5' and the letter `I', thank you. That's all for my corner and/or overly repetitive stale jokes...at least for a few lines. Anyway, the cast will remain the same as it was in my last MST (the one with the vile evil spam), and that cast is. ::Drum roll:: Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII (that's 7 people, but you knew that. ^_^), Aisha from Outlaw Star, Tasuki from Fushigi Yuugi (if it's a Mysterious Play...wouldn't Tasuki be considered an actor and not a character? ^_^), and Ukyo from Ranma 1/2. Let's see, all symbols will have the same function as they normally would...yadda yadda yadda. Just read on will ya? Or else......ummm....you'll continue reading the notes here. Errr...yeah.

Other Notes: All work and no play will make Johnny a dull boy, you remember that okay? Oh, and...will someone tell me why Jenny had to die? I just wanna know WHY! Errr...right. Oh, and on another note...my sense of humor is strange, you should know that by now. ^_^

Even *More* Notes: I decided to throw in cameo appearances every now and again, just because they help the jokes...if you want to call them jokes, that is. Oh, I don't own *any* of the characters and/or people I make cameos of. So, yeah...

The Last Note Here, I Promise: Since I wrote part of this MST around Christmas time and stuff, some of the jokes around the middle section are Christmas-y jokes. Okay?

***********

In the not too distant future
In a place where crime was low
Sephiroth and his other pals
Were stuck in a not nice place

They were pursed by an author named Majin
An evil anime fan who wanted to rule the world
He tossed around a few ideas in his head
And decided to torture a new cast instead

(Sephiroth: You shall pay!)

Majin: 
"I'll send them lots of fanfics
And maybe something else (la la la)
They'll have to sit and watch them all
And I'll monitor their minds!" (la la la)

Now keep in mind they can't control
Where the fics begin or end
They'll try to keep their sanity
With the help of their new found friends

MSTer roll call!

Sephiroth (Ding dong the witch is dead! Which old witch? Aerith! Ding
dong the wicked Aerith is dead!)
Tasuki (Only you can prevent forest fires!)
Aisha (I was the star of `Cats' you know!)Ukyo (Martin Yan has
nothing on me, beoach!)

If you're wondering how they eat and breathe
And other science facts (la la la)
Then repeat to yourself, "It's just a fic,
and I should really just relax!"

For Majin Science Theater 6000! (Fortified with 80% home-grown humor!)

TWAAAAAANG!

***********

6...
5...
4...
3...
2...
1...

Sephiroth stood in front of the Satellite of Love set we all know and love, he was working on some sort of odd machine feverishly.

Ukyo suddenly walks in and gives Seph a strange look. "What the heck are you doing, Seph?"

Sephiroth looked up at Ukyo and nodded twice, "Yes Ukyo, I do like chocolate covered strawberries! It gets the ol' `system' going, if ya know what I mean!!!" he shouted and went back to working on his machine.

Ukyo facefaulted, "Why do I even bother talking to him anymore?" she grumbled to herself, then glared at our silver haired villainous friend. "Hey baka, what the heck *are* you working on?"

Sephiroth looked up at Ukyo once again and nodded twice like before. "Yes Ukyo, I *am* a fan of the Detroit Lions....even if they are a pathetic football team! I just like the name anyway, it sounds intimidating!!!" he shouted and went back to working yet again.

Before Ukyo could grumble and facefault again, Majin's ominous screen floated down (complete with a cool fanfare that was ripped off directly from Star Wars). Of course, this screen had Majin's beaming face on it...as usual. "Konnicha wa minna-san!!!" he said rather annoyingly.

Sephiroth looked up at the screen and nodded twice yet again. "Yes Majin, the ace of spades is a better card to have than the nine of clubs!!!" he shouted once again and went back to working on his whatever it is.

A sweatdrop formed behind Majin's head *and* his screen. "Errr....I know. That's a good song by Motorhead by the way. Errrr anyway minna- san, I have your next fanfic all ready and reared to go! By the way, what the *heck* is that thing Sephy?"

Once again, Sephiroth looks up and nodded twice. "Yes, I *am* a materia boy! Damn it, and don't think I'm not!!!!" he shouted *yet* again and continued working.

Ukyo fell over, "Baka!!!!!!!"

"You rang?" Majin chimed, blinking confusedly.

A sweatdrop formed behind Ukyo's head, "Why me?"

Suddenly, Seph was finished working on his thingamajig and looked up. He became super-deformed, formed a peace sign with his index and middle fingers and waved it in the air. "It's finished!!!!!! Great! Now all of you will bow down to me! If you don't, then you will be a victim of my sing-a-long Yoko Ono robot! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

"Uhhh...you have to plug it in Seph, and there aren't any electric outlets up here." Majin said flatly, snickering afterwards. "Anyway minna-san, I *still* have a fic to send! It's called Breathe and it's a DBZ songfic, so prepare yourselves! Mwahahaha!" With that said and that evil laugh done, Majin's screen floated back to it's place in the woodwork.

Suddenly, the red lights that alerted the MSTers went off and the other two MSTers walked in.

"That's fanfic sign!" Aisha said, and the four of them entered the theater...TO THEIR DOOM (or not......)

6...
5...
4...
3...
2...
1...

> Breathe

Tasuki: ...or die!

> by Mia

Sephiroth: Mia, Mia Hamm. ::Blinks:: Hey, I didn't know soccer players write stuff too.
Ukyo: They probably don't baka!
Sephiroth: Well, okay then. You know, I'm still mad about that Yoko Ono robot. Damn Majin, he's too cheap to install electric sockets up here.
Ukyo:  ::Blinks:: Well, I'm certainly grateful our insane captor did that.
Sephiroth: Be quiet...
Ukyo: By the way Seph, I think your evilness and stuff is fading over time. When FF7 came out you seemed pure evil, but now that FF10 is out you're just a shell of what you used to be...
Sephiroth: Shut up, shut up! Seymour has nothing on *me!!!!* I am the greatest Squaresoft villain EVER!!!
Ukyo: Uhhhh, if you insist. ::Grumbles to herself:: Outdated weirdo.

> Skywalker

Aisha: Not to be confused with Kate Groundlurker.

> DISCLAIMER:  I don't

Aisha:  ::Starts singing:: I don't want to let my life fly by, do you ever stop, stop to wonder why? And time flies by when everything is okay it just turns out that life ain't that way...
Tasuki: Aisha, would you stop singing?
Aisha:  ::Stops singing:: All right.

> own DBZ,

Tasuki:  ::Imitating Toriyama-sama:: But *I* do!!!! Also, Sabin and FUNimation suck, but mostly Sabin!

Note: I'm sure you DBZ fans know why Sabin is bad, and if you don't I have one little thing to say to ya...it's called DBGT. I don't like DBGT, you may, it's my opinion...deal with it. Thank you.

> although I can still dream.

Tasuki:  ::Imitating the author:: Dream a little dream, that is!
Ukyo:  ::Facefaults:: Well, that was corny...
Tasuki:  ::Back to normal:: I know, but it just had to be done.
Ukyo: Who says?Tasuki: It's in that Evil Fanfiction Author's Constitution that Majin showed us last time. I think it's called the Corny Joke Clause.
Ukyo: Errr, okay then.

> And as for the song Breathe,

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating the author:: I *so* own it...at least I thought I did until I got arrested for using it without the owner's permission.

> which is sung by Faith Hill

Sephiroth:  ::Blinks:: That'd be a good place to build a church, on top of a faith hill.
Ukyo: Okay, that Corny Joke Clause is getting on my nerves...
Sephiroth:  ::Dramatically:: But it's the LAW OF THE LAND!
Ukyo:  ::Grumbles:: Stop relaying pseudo patriotic brainwashing messages!
Sephiroth: All righty!

> (one of the only country singers I actually like),

Aisha:  ::Imitating the mother of the character Adam Sandler played in the Waterboy:: Country music is the devil!

> this is the official disclaimer that they give to use. : -) The song Breathe is

Aisha:  ::Imitating the company making this disclaimer:: ...a song, stupid. It isn't anything *except* a song, so don't say it is!

> ©1999 Cal IV Songs (all rights adm.

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating the company behind this disclaimer:: Bet'cha can't say adm five times fast!

> by Cal IV Entertainment, Inc.) ASCAP

Ukyo:  ::Imitating that duck from the Amflak commercials:: Amflak!
Tasuki:  ::Imitating the gecko from the GEICO commercials:: No, I'm a gecko. You probably wanted GEICO.
Ukyo: Amflak?
Tasuki: No, GEICO!
Ukyo: Amflak Amflak Amflak!
Tasuki:  ::Back to normal:: And....scene!
Ukyo:  ::Also back to normal:: Well, it's good that we got our sponsors (no, not really) out of the way.

> /Universal-Songs of PolyGram International, Inc./Hopechest Music

Sephiroth: If all of these people own this song, *let* them own it. I can care less! Why the hell would I want it anyway?

> (all rights controlled and adm. by Universal-Songs of PolyGram
International, Inc.) BMI

Tasuki: Uhhhh, that's a good thing right?
Aisha: I ummmm...*think* so. I think it means Bring More Igloos.
Tasuki: That doesn't make much sense.
Aisha: Hmmmm, or it could be Being Married in Iowa.
Tasuki: Oh okay, I guess that makes sense. At least, compared to this fic so far.

> ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: 

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating the author:: Yep, I confirm the fact that I'm writing a fic...it's down there, *SOMEWHERE!*

> Lady Lark

Aisha:  ::Singing:: Lark! The herald angels sing!
Ukyo:  ::Whispers to Aisha:: It's `hark' hun, not `lark'.
Aisha: Errr...I knew that!

> (megamichan) and Mistress Storm Crow

Sephiroth: Croooooow!
::Suddenly, out of nowhere, a fifth head pops up. It's none other than everyone's favorite robot, Crow!::
Crow: Huh? What?
Sephiroth:  ::Blinks:: Wow, my voice has the power to summon forth robots!
Tasuki: I think that was as just a coincidence, Seph.
Sephiroth: No, it was not! Watch and learn, mere China boy!
Crow: Uhhh, I'm leaving now.... ::: Gets up and leaves::
Sephiroth: All right! GIGANTOR, I SUMMON THEE!
Tasuki:  ::Sweatdrops when nothing happens::
Sephiroth: ...or not.

> for beta'ing this.
> SUMMARY:  After the Cell Games,

Sephiroth: You mean Cell was allowed to have games? Damn it! I'm an evil villainous guy too, but I don't get to have games!
Aisha: But you have your own game...well, sorta.
Sephiroth: Shut up....

> Bulma and Vegeta think

Tasuki: This is definitely Golden Globe material!
Ukyo: Uhhh...we didn't even get to the fic yet.
Tasuki: I don't care, anybody who can write a fic with Bulma and Vegeta thinking deserves a Golden Globe!
Ukyo: Ummm...aren't Golden Globes for actors and stuff?
Tasuki: Errrr...so? This fic should *still* get a Golden Globe!
Ukyo: What about a...Pulitzer Prize?
Tasuki: No, just a Golden Globe!
Ukyo: Okay, whatever...

> about things. A small bit of fluff

Tasuki:  ::Mock cries:: NOOOO! They killed Fluffy! You...you...bastards!
Aisha: You're supposed to say, "Oh my God, they killed Kenny!"
Tasuki:  ::Blinks, now using a British accent:: Oh, sorry. This is a butte.
Aisha:  ::Facefaults:: Just say it.
Tasuki: All right. ::Nods:: How to spot a tree from quite a long ways away.
Aisha: Nevermind... ::Grumbles some inaudible things::Ukyo: Hey! There definitely isn't a Monty Python joke clause in that Fanfic Constitution thingy! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
Tasuki:  ::Back to normal, I suppose...:: Cursed, foiled again!
Ukyo: Uhhhh, what?
Tasuki: Errr, nevermind.

> that shows both POVs

Aisha: That means Pre-Organic Vaseline!
Ukyo: That doesn't even make sense...
Aisha: Oh wait, it's not that! It's Power Over Viciousness!
Ukyo: You're still not making sense...
Aisha: Popular Ovum in Vinyl?
Ukyo: No.
Aisha: A Poster of Old Vegetables?
Ukyo: Errr...no.
Aisha: A Pack of Ostentatious Villains?
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops:: No, it's not any of those things! It just means Point of View!
Aisha: Oh yeah! That's what it means!

> on their relationship to each other.
> NOTES:  The name of this songfic

Tasuki:  ::Imitating the author:: ...is still the same despite all of these notes. And contrary to popular belief, I *am* not changing the name to `Waiting to Gasp', thank you.

> actually has multiple meanings for me. It's

Ukyo: ...Saturday Night Live! Starring Lung Upshaw, Trachea Brown, Bronchus Coolidge, and Larynx Williams! Featuring musical guests The Breatheaholics, with your host....Mr. Chain Smoker Man!

> named after the song that I used

Sephiroth:  ::Singing:: ...to love her, but I had to kill her. I used to love her, but I had to kill her. I had to put her six feet under, and I can still hear complain.
Aisha: That's a horrid song Seph!
Sephiroth:  ::Blinks:: No, it's not! It's a perfect song for me!! ^_^
Aisha: I mean the lyrics were bad, not the song...
Sephiroth:  ::Shrugs:: Those are pretty tame lyrics y'know...
Aisha: You're joking, right?Sephiroth: Nope.
Aisha: I feel for the youth of today.

> for it

Tasuki:  ::Sarcastically:: You don't say?

> (of course), but it's also about something that I never realized
how important it was for me until recently -

Aisha:  ::Imitating the author:: ...clipping my toe nails.

> breathing. For about 8 months I was really sick and I almost died.
I first heard this song during that illness, and just the title of it
made me cry. The problem was that my lungs were filling up with fluid
and I couldn't breathe. I was drowning, and no one knew why fluid was
filling my lungs, where it was coming from, and how to get rid of it.
It took a long time before we eventually got rid of it.

Sephiroth:  ::Looks about ready to cry:: That's....so...sad!!!!!! ::Starts crying streams of anime type tears::
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops:: That doesn't seem to be very in-character to me, are you *sure* you're Sephiroth?
Sephiroth: Yes, ::Sob:: I'm ::Sob:: sure!
Ukyo: So, you're sure that you are Sephiroth then, right?
Sephiroth: Well, *duh!*
Ukyo: Ah-ha! ::Grabs Sephy-sama by the face and pulls it off, revealing it was a mask. (Yes, Scooby Doo style!):: I knew it!
::The unmasked `Sephiroth' is none other than.....Yuffie?::
Yuffie: Wah! You guys are no fun!
Aisha: But...if she was pretending to be Sephiroth...then where's the *real* Sephiroth?
::Scene cuts to Seph sitting on a beach blanket and taking in some sun::
Sephiroth: I love plot holes!
::Scene cuts back, and for some reason everything is back to normal::
Tasuki: Wow, I'm sure glad we got Sephiroth back and put Yuffie down there and had all of those extremely cool adventures...even though we really *aren't allowed to do that!*
Aisha: Yeah, me too!
Ukyo: Me three!
Sephiroth:  ::Low tone:: Not me.
::Aisha, Ukyo, and Tasuki all start laughing at once::

Note: I know, that was a little weird but I betcha didn't see it coming! ^_^

> This songfic is, in some strange manner, dedicated to my

Tasuki:  ::Imitating the author:: ...pet fish Breathey McBreathicin XXXVI.

> gratitude at being able to breathe again. Never take anything for
granted. Not even the simple ability of being able to draw in a
breath.

> ~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~

Ukyo: Oh look, that poor asterisk is all alone. Poor thing, it now knows the true horrors of tilde discrimination.

> Bulma woke slowly

Sephiroth: *Very* slowly. Sheesh, at this rate we'll be in here for ten hours.

> and looked around at the still darkened room,

Sephiroth: It was *still* darkened because she didn't turn on the freaking lights!

> wondering what had awakened her.

Aisha: It might have been the Village People concert next door at the ::Starts singing:: YMCA!
Ukyo:  ::Covers ears:: Ack! Stop it!
Aisha:  ::Stops singing:: Errr, okay.
Sephiroth: You know Aisha, I can picture you as the gay construction worker from the band.
Aisha:  ::Facefaults:: Well, I can picture you as the gay sailor! ::Smacks Seph over the head::
Sephiroth: Oi, me and my big mouth. @_@

> She listened;

Tasuki:  ::Imitating the author:: ...to the sound of m....
Ukyo: Don't *even* say it.
Tasuki:  ::Nods:: All right. ::Imitating the author again:: ...to the sound of Might and Magiiiiiiiic!
Ukyo:  ::Falls over::

> the night was still

Aisha:  ::Imitating the author:: ...night-like an' stuff an' stuff an' stuff.

> and quiet, just the normal sounds of the

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating the author:: ...Peeping Toms and other various perverts.

> night creatures outside her window. She always left her window open

Aisha: ...just in case the tooth fairy decided to come in.

> now if the weather permitted, and if it didn't she

Ukyo:  ::Imitating the author:: ...bought the Weather Channel and killed all of the dumb meteorologists who said it would snow an inch when it really snowed ten feet out!

> left the door to the balcony unlocked.

Ukyo:  ::Imitating the author. Yes, I'll be doing this a lot so get used to it:: She forget to install the lights that said, "Please, rob my house!" though.

> She'd always been hoping, after that one time, that he

Tasuki: 'He' is referring to the neighborhood electrician Joe, in this case.

> would come back to

Tasuki:  ::Imitating the author:: ...the land of milk and honey!

> her, that he might care about her

Sephiroth: Ugh, it's one of *these* kinds of stories. ::Grumbles:: Blasted romantic crap, blast it all!
Aisha: How do you know this a romance fic?
Sephiroth: Why *else* would there be that fluff stuff in it?
Aisha: Uhhh....pillow stuffing?
Sephiroth: Errr....riiiight.

> or at least want her once again, as he'd seemed to want her that
one night.

Ukyo:  ::Blinks:: Isn't that a cue for a flashback right there?
Tasuki: I *hope* not. Dude, I'm part of a show where this stuff happens *all the time.*
Ukyo: Yeah...I know, I know.

> But no matter how often she'd waited,

Tasuki:  ::Starts singing:: The waiting is the hardest part. One more day is one more yard. You take it to your head, you take it to your heart. The waiting is the hardest part.

> no matter how strongly she'd hoped, he'd never returned,

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating the author:: He entered a few times, but never returned.
Ukyo:  ::Falls over:: Oh come on! Making a joke that *bad* has got to be illegal!
Sephiroth:  ::Blinks:: You know, I think you're right...
::Suddenly, a pair of blue and red lights flash and a blue haired woman (Kiyone) appears in the room::
Kiyone: Ah-hah! We have found the `Teller of Corny Jokes', Sephiroth! You are under arrest by warrant of the Galaxy Police!
Sephiroth:  ::Blinks:: Errr...what? Hey, how did you get in here anyway?
Kiyone:  ::Looks confused:: I uhhh...I uhhh...dunno.
::Suddenly, by some strange author whim or some such other magical force, Kiyone disappears as quickly as she came::
Tasuki: What just happened there?
Sephiroth: I'm not quite sure...
Ukyo: Aren't you a wanted criminal too...and stuff?
Sephiroth: Uhhhh, not really but...I suppose I can be...sorta...I guess.
Ukyo: Go figure. ::Facefaults:: Why didn't that police officer stay here a little longer? We could have told her about you Seph and more importantly, we could tell her about Majin and get him arrested!
Sephiroth: D'oh! Heeeey! What do you mean, `we could have told her about you Seph?'. If you're going to tell someone about me Ukyo, please use my full name! Sephiroth is just ten times more evil sounding than just plain old Seph!
Ukyo: Errr...whatever.

> her hopes

Aisha:  ::Imitating an employee at a Return's Counter:: I can't return these hopes because you didn't bring a receipt.

> had never been answered. Until tonight.

Ukyo: Ain't it time for one of those break things yet?
Tasuki: I think it just may be, as a matter of fact.
::The four MSTers leave the screening room::

~~~~~~~~~~~~

::Sephiroth is staring at a *huge* clock that he put on the wall, and Aisha just happens to walk in by sheer coincidence (yeah, right.)::
Aisha: Uhhh, what the heck are you doing?
Sephiroth: I'm measuring time, what do you think? You see...I figured out that this fic could be much shorter if the credits in the beginning were cut. In fact, it'd be 83% better!
Aisha:  ::Looks at Seph strangely:: How did you figure that all out with a clock?
Sephiroth: Oh, simple. I used the power of my BRAIN! ::Points both of his index figures to his forehead and holds them there::
Aisha: You're really starting to scare me now.
Sephiroth: With my brain power, I can make you do anything I want!
Aisha: Errr...right.
Sephiroth:  ::Starts concentrating and suddenly Aisha is enveloped in a small shower of white sparks::
Aisha:  ::Using an Australian accent:: Kangaroo boomerang outback dingo wallaby Crocodile Hunter Sydney Foster's?
Sephiroth:  ::: Chuckles, starts concentrating more and Aisha is enveloped in a small shower of white sparks again::
Aisha: What did you do to me?
Sephiroth: Easy, I made you communicate in Australian!
Aisha: But they speak English....
Sephiroth: Ahhhh, but *they* ::Points at the screen:: don't have to know *that!*
Aisha: Well, I'm sure they did.
Sephiroth: Shut up!
::The red lights go off again and Tasuki comes walking in::
Tasuki: Yo! We have fanfic sign here, people!
::The four MSTers enter the screening room once again::

~~~~~~~~~~~~

> Bulma glanced at the small warrior in the bed next to her,

Ukyo: May I interest anybody in the opening break riff?
Aisha: Naw, none for me thanks.
Tasuki: I'll pass on that one.
Sephiroth: Me too.
Ukyo: Okay, I'll *make* the riff then. ::Coughs:: *Ahem...*
Sephiroth: Are you going or what?Ukyo: Yeah yeah...hold on!
Sephiroth: Okay, *okay.*
Ukyo:  ::Imitating the author:: ...and then, killed him!
Tasuki:  ::Facefaults:: That wasn't worthy enough for the opening break riff!
Ukyo:  ::Back to normal:: *Everybody* is a critic. ::Sighs::

> then slipped

Aisha: ...and then headed to the emergency room to treat her injury.

> out of his loose

Sephiroth: That's what Bulma is, loose!
Ukyo: C'mon...Seph...
Sephiroth: The slut! She sleeps around with any alien she can find!
Ukyo: Errrr...Seph...ummmm...
Sephiroth: Damnable hookers, they make *me* look bad!
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops:: Nani?
Sephiroth: Come now, it wouldn't make any sense if I just *told* you what I meant.
Ukyo: Yeah, it would. ::Blinks:: By the way Seph.... ::Cracks Seph over the head with her spatula thingy:: BAKA!

> embrace and slid

Aisha: ...and fell again, resulting in another trip to the emergency room!

> out of the bed. She picked up the robe

Tasuki: ....with *the* hand that she had on *the* arm that she errr had....

> that had been so carelessly tossed to the floor earlier that night
and slipped

Aisha: Again? Geez, the hospital probably knows her as a regular at *this* rate.

> it on.

Sephiroth: Damn it! I'm killing the company who made that damn robe,
damnable damnation!
Aisha:  ::Blinks:: I'm not even sure if that sentence made sense...
Sephiroth:  ::Grumble grumble mutter mutter mumble mumble::

> She glanced down at the torn nightgown

Aisha: Is there a point to all of this?
Tasuki: Don't worry, we established a major plot point here. The nightgown....is *TORN!*
Aisha: Yep, it most certainly is. What's your point?
Tasuki:  ::Looks at Aisha strangely:: What do *you* mean what's my point? This is an IMPORTANT part of the story!
Aisha: Uhhh...if you say so.

> lying in a satin

Ukyo: Shall I start?
Sephiroth: Feel free Ukyo dear.
Ukyo:  ::Facefaults:: Okay, here goes! ::Imitating one of Mr. Satan's idiot fans:: Satan-san! Satan-san! Satan-san!
Tasuki: Errr...are you imitating a satanist?
Ukyo:  ::Back to normal, sweatdrops:: NO!
Tasuki: Then why are you saying his name?
Ukyo: Oi! That's how *we* pronounce satin, baka!
Tasuki:  ::Looks blankly at Ukyo:: I'm Chinese...
Ukyo:  ::Grumbles:: Shut up...
Sephiroth: Ahhh, riffing a fic is *so* much more fun when nationality and race are involved. ^_^
Ukyo: Weirdo!

> pool

Aisha: Whoa! Cool! Bulma has a pool *inside* her house! I want one too! I wonder if we can install a pool up here?
Ukyo: Aren't there laws against that?
Aisha: Yeah, probably...laws of physics most likely.

> on the ground, once one of her most expensive nightgowns, now only
rags.

Tasuki: Well, that puts a brand new spin on the phrase `rags to riches'.
Sephiroth: Yeah, it makes it `expensive nightgowns to rags'.

> He'd been in too much of a hurry that night.

Aisha:  ::Imitating the author:: He had to watch his shows in ten minutes, so he was on the clock.

> It was as though he had been trying to make up for the past year
and a half all in one night,

Sephiroth: Is that even physically *possible?*

> almost as if he had been as hungry

Ukyo: Oh great, we established the fact that this Vegeta guy is a cannibal.
::Suddenly a golden flash appears in the room...of course this is Super Saiyajin Vegeta::
Vegeta: I AM NOT, BAKA!!!!
Ukyo:  ::Blinks:: Who let the maniacal Saiyajin in?
Sephiroth:  ::Raises hand:: Sorry babe, he looked so lonely out there in the depths of space.
Ukyo:  ::Cracks Seph upside the head with a spatula:: Don't call me that!
Vegeta: I DON'T EAT PEOPLE, DAMN IT, GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD, DAMN IT!
Aisha: He likes to yell, doesn't he?
::Suddenly Vegeta disappears in a golden flash, again without warning or a good explanation as to why he even came in the first place::
Aisha: And he liked to say `damn' a lot, didn't he?
Tasuki: Apparently...

Note: I *told* you there would be cameos, but I think I forgot to mention the fact that they probably won't make any sense. Oh well, nobody expects *me* to start making sense *now!* ^_^

> for her as she'd been for him.

Tasuki:  ::Imitating Vegeta:: Oh yummy, all you can eat Bulma for $5.99!
Sephiroth:  ::Starts laughing:: I trained you well, my tessan wielding friend!
Tasuki:  ::Back to normal:: Nani?
Sephiroth:  ::Falls over:: Nevermind.
Ukyo:  ::Facefaults:: Tasuki, you know what you did...don't try to deny it!
Tasuki: Deny *what?!?!?!* Damn it, make sense!
Ukyo: Errr....nevermind. ::Sweatdrops::

> ~~~*~~~

Aisha:  ::Imitating the author:: And now for a fanfic interlude. I'd like to plug the author Majin Vegeta, because he is just the greatest fanfic author there is! *EVER!*
::Everyone looks at Aisha funny::
Aisha:  ::Back to normal:: And of course, I mean *none* of the things I just said.
::The voice of MV (predictably) booms::
Voice of MV: Yeah! Tell the system who's boss maaaaan!
Aisha: Huh?
Voice of MV: Right on! Keep on bad-mouthing your captor! Fight the system, Aisha, fight it maaaaan!
Aisha:  ::Sweatdrops:: Errr...riiiight.
Voice of MV: Save the dolphins maaaaan! Groovy maaaaan! Peace maaaaan!
::Majin's voice goes away (and there was much rejoicing!)::
Aisha: That right there, that was messed up.

> I can

Tasuki: Ahhhh! It's a creepy singing voice! KILL IT!!!!!

> feel the magic

Ukyo:  ::Imitating Faith Hill singing:: ...but only on weekends and holidays.

> floating in the air

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Siegfried:: Hey, get back here magic!
Tasuki:  ::Imitating Roy:: Ja, we need ya for our show tonight, ja!

> Being with you gets me that way

Aisha:  ::Imitating Faith singing:: ...but only when you get to the good spot.
Ukyo: Aisha!
Aisha:  ::Back to normal:: Errrr, oops. I think I'm hanging out around Seph too much.
Sephiroth: That's *my* kind of woman!
Ukyo: Oh shut up! ::Cracks Seph...for no apparent reason, really::

> I watch the sunlight dance

Tasuki: That dance is *so* much better than the River Dance.
Sephiroth: Quick, where's Butch Cassady?!?!?!
Tasuki: He's with the Sundance Kid, of course. Why?
Sephiroth: But...but...he has to be here for the Sunlight Dance Kid, right?
Tasuki:  ::Facefault:: Errrr, I guess?

> across your face and I've
> Never been this swept away

Sephiroth: Ahhhh, I love romantic songs. They're all mushy and lovable and IT MAKES ME WANT TO STAB PEOPLE REPETITIVELY UNTIL THEY DIE AND THEN BURN THEIR BODIES UP WITH A SUPERNOVA! ::Sighs longingly::
Ukyo: Ummmmm.....I'm *so* scared of you Seph.
Sephiroth: Yay! Fear is good! ^_^

> ~~~*~~~

Tasuki: Those signs are really going to annoy me in the future!
Aisha: How do you know that, exactly?
Tasuki: I'm psychic!
Aisha: Ummmm, no, you aren't.
Tasuki: Errrr....oh yeah. I should have foreseen that you'd say that.
Aisha: You aren't psychic!
Tasuki: I know!
Aisha: Errr....okay then.

> Bulma stepped

Ukyo:  ::Imitating a ghetto chick:: You best be steppin' girlfriend. ::Snaps fingers about ten times::

> towards the window,

Tasuki:  ::Imitating Bulma/Mocking the `Behold the Power of Cheese' commercials:: Oooooo, I can see through these!
Ukyo: Behold the power of windows!

> breathing

Aisha: Will Mia stop at nothing to incorporate the title of the fic in a paragraph? Why? I just want to know why!
Sephiroth: You didn't fall on your head recently, did you?
Aisha: No! ::Glares at Seph:: Geez, don't be such a big jerk, you big jerk! ::Cracks Seph upside the head::
Sephiroth: @_@ This is what I get for being concerned...
Ukyo: Why do I *not* believe that?
Sephiroth: Maybe because I want to destroy you all?
Ukyo: That just *may* be it. Wait, you want to destroy us?
Sephiroth: Oops! Did I say that out loud? Damn it!
Ukyo: Great, I'm stuck up here with a homicidal maniac with a *huge* sword, a pyromaniac desert bandit who hates girls, and an alien cat girl who has the strength of ten really strong guys. Plus, on top of all that....my captor is an anime fan who dove a little bit too far into the deep end.
Tasuki: Hey! I'm not a pyromaniac!
Sephiroth: And I'm not a maniac!Aisha: Yeah, and I'm a Ctral Ctral!
::The voice of MV booms::
Voice of MV: Yeah, and I'm not an anime fan! ::Coughs:: Oh wait...yeah I am, nevermind.
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops:: I should have seen *that* one coming from ten miles away. ::Grumbles::

> in the night air, still trying to figure out what had disturbed her
sleep.

Tasuki: I'm guessing it had something to do with her WAKING UP!

> She hadn't heard anything out of the ordinary;

Ukyo:  ::Imitating Bulma:: Let's see, assassins trying to murder me, check. Perverts trying to look into my window, check. Thieves trying to steal all my worldly possessions, check. Hmmm, what in the world could have waken me up?

> the rest of the world slept,

Aisha:  ::Blinks:: But it would be day on the other half of the world...and, what about insomniacs?
Tasuki: I believe a wise man once said, "To question the logic of a fanfic author, is to truly go insane."
Aisha: Errr, who said that?Tasuki: I did, as a matter of fact!
Aisha: Ummmm, I never heard you say that one before.
Tasuki: Oh, trust me, I *said* it.

> as though the danger with Cell,

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating the author:: ...and his cousins Amoeba, Bacteria, and Virus.
::Suddenly guess who (yes, I mean Cell) appeared in a flash of green and black::
Cell: Hey, Seph-or-rot, don't be making fun of my name or I'll pop a Ki blast in your bitch ass! Now get in the kitchen and make me some PIE!
Sephiroth: Uhhhh what? My name is Sephiroth, by the way!
Cell: Nevermind. That's right, Sephiroth, that's what I thought. Now, if you excuse me, I have to go back to my cell ::Mutters about a bad pun:: in Hell. Damn it, I should be a rapper!
Sephiroth: Riiiiight.
::Cell disappears in that same flash of green and black::

Note: I told you, *no* name is off limits for my jokes. I'll make fun of any character's name if I can. ^_^

> and the death of Earth's greatest warrior,

Ukyo:  ::Blinks:: Steven Segull?
Aisha:  ::Double blinks:: Sean Connery?
Sephiroth:  ::Triple blinks:: Mr. T?
Tasuki:  ::Also triple blinks:: Mike Tyson?
Aisha:  ::Facefaults:: Mike Tyson?
Tasuki: Errr yeah, he'll bite your ear off if you try to destroy the world!
Aisha: Riiiight.

> had never happened. A single tear

Aisha:  ::Imitating the tear:: Damn it, it's Saturday night and I'm stuck at home without a date! This sucks!!!! I guess I'm gonna have to watch the Playtear channel tonight.

> coursed its way down her cheek.

Sephiroth: Too bad all four of us are completely non-empathetic.
Ukyo: You're more pathetic than anything, anyway Seph.
Sephiroth: Yep, you hit the nail right on the head! ::Blinks:: HEY!
Ukyo:  ::Snickers:: ^_^

> Goku had died, and they couldn't bring him back again.

Ukyo:  ::Imitating Bulma:: Stupid faulty resurrection plans!
Tasuki:  ::Imitating the gecko from the GEICO commercials again:: You know, that wouldn't happen if you switched to...
Ukyo:  ::Back to normal:: Don't even *GO* there!
Tasuki:  ::Back to normal, as well:: Okay, okay! Geez!

> They had wanted to use the Namek

Sephiroth: That's wrong on so many levels! They don't *even* have genitals!
Ukyo:  ::Cracks Seph upside the head with her spatula thingy yet again:: BAKA!

> dragonballs to bring him back, but Goku had refused, saying he
wanted to stay in the afterlife.

Aisha:  ::Imitating Goku:: Damn it guys, I want to stay dead this time! Why don't you just leave me alone and let my sons have deprived childhoods? Geez!

> Bulma grieved

Tasuki:  ::Imitating one of Bulma's friends:: Hey, Bulma, it was only
*one* Sprite! Why don't you just calm down already?!

> for her best friend. Many people assumed that Bulma didn't care
about Goku,

Ukyo:  ::Imitating the author:: ...and I'm not including the people who made the `Bulma doesn't care about Goku' club, either.

> but the truth was, he was the only one whom she truly trusted and
had always felt she could rely on.
She'd known him longer than any of her other friends,

Sephiroth: Hey! You forget to take out the `s' in `friends'.
::In a suddenly flash of white and pink, Amelia appears::
Amelia: That is unjust Sephiroth-san!
Sephiroth: Uhhh...okay?
Amelia: Justice will prevail up on this satellite minna-san, don't worry! Majin-san will feel the wraith of the hammer of justice!
::With that said, Amelia disappears in that flash of white and pink that she appeared in to begin with::
Aisha:  ::Waves around a pink little flag with Amelia's face on it that she got out of hammerspace:: Yay! Oppression will be gone! ::Blinks:: Errr.....wait a second, she left. I'm confused.
Sephiroth: Don't worry, *I* am too.
Tasuki: We really need to put a child's safety lock on that thing that transports all of those guys up here.
Aisha: You mean....there's a transporter? ::Sweatdrops::
Tasuki: No, not really. But I had to fill in the plot holes *somehow.*

> and somehow

Aisha: ...over the rainbow.
Ukyo: That's *somewhere* over the rainbow. ::Sweatdrops::
Aisha: Oh, I knew that!
Ukyo:  ::Sarcastically:: Yeah, right.

> the fact that he was gone

Tasuki:  ::Imitating the author, just because I don't know who else to have him imitate:: ...meant that he wouldn't be here anymore.

> and didn't want to come back left a void in her heart. She wondered
how

Sephiroth: ...they put those cats in bottles...
Ukyo:  ::Facefaults:: Everybody knows that stupid rumor isn't true!!!!
Sephiroth: Awwww man! ::Grumbles:: And I *wanted* a kitty in a bottle, yeah.
Ukyo: You're just deranged my friend, very deranged.
Sephiroth: You just figured *that* out?
Ukyo: No, I just thought I'd say it now.
Sephiroth: Oh, okay then.

> Chi-Chi

Sephiroth: Okay, I'm confused. Why would someone name their child after a slang word for `breasts?' I'm *really* confused here.
Aisha: It's Dragonball Z, it doesn't have to make *much* sense.
Sephiroth: Good point...

> felt about it.

Ukyo: Ummmm, I'd say she *didn't* like it too much. I don't know why though, it's *just* a hunch.
Tasuki: You and your crazy sarcasm Ukyo, I get a kick out of it every time!
Ukyo: Then why aren't you laughing?
Tasuki: Errr... ::Plays a laugh track:: I am *so* laughing.
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops:: Do you think I'm stupid?
Tasuki: Errr, would `yes' be the wrong answer?
Ukyo: As a matter of fact, that *is* the wrong answer! ::Cracks Tasuki over the head with her spatula thingy::
Tasuki: @_@

> Goku had been gone

Aisha: Yep, the fic established this fact for the millionth time.
Tasuki: You and your crazy exaggeration Aisha, what would I do without it?
Aisha: Don't even *go* there.
Tasuki: Fine! Sheesh, you're no fun anymore!
Aisha: Are you implying that I used to be fun?
Tasuki: Errrr...yeah?
Sephiroth: Ooooooo!
Aisha: Shut up hentai! ::Glares at Seph:: Well then Tasuki, errr...deal with that!
Tasuki: Errr, all right, I suppose....

> for so long already. First he'd died and had been training

Ukyo: The fact that he was dead didn't even slow him down, did it?
Aisha: Nope, not in the least.
Ukyo: And people like this `Dragonball Z' show?
Aisha: Apparently.
::This would be a good spot for me to insert a DBZ related cameo, but I can't think of any good jokes for a cameo character right now. Thank you, you may now proceed to read the actual fic. ^_^::

> with Kaioh-sama

Tasuki:  ::Stumbling on the pronunciation of the name::Ummm, KFC?
Aisha: Nope, that's not how you pronounce it.
Tasuki: Errr, Kyoto?
Aisha: No, that's a city.
Tasuki: Ummmm, Das Kapital?
Aisha:  ::Facefaults:: No, you're getting *a lot* colder.
Tasuki: Errr, do you pronounce it Killer Tomatoes?
Aisha:  ::Sweatdrops:: *NO!* You pronounce it as Kaioh-sama!
Tasuki: Errr...oh. ::Facefaults:: That didn't help one bit.
Aisha: Don't make me kick you back to China!
Tasuki:  ::Mutters some choice words, again they can't be printed for the sake of the rating::

> for a year, then he had gone to Namek

Sephiroth: You know, it's guys like these that make *my* job ten times
harder. You kill the guy, but he just doesn't stay dead! Gah! I hate
that! >_< blahblahblahblahblah

>and trained on some other planet for a year. When he finally came back again, he spent the three years

Ukyo: Hmmmm, let me think here. What could he have possibly do in those three years? Hmmm, that's pretty tough. I'd say he...TRAINED!

> training to defeat the androids, and then Cell came along and he
died again.

Sephiroth: You know, the funny thing is that all of this happened in the span of *about* 180 episodes. Funny how you can put all that into *one* little paragraph, isn't it?
Aisha: You can do that for FF7 too!
Sephiroth:  ::Shakes head:: Not-uh! You need about *ten* paragraphs for FF7!
Aisha:  ::Sweatdrops:: Errr...right.

> She knew that Chi-Chi must be devastated.

Tasuki:  ::Imitating the author because there really isn't anyone else to imitate, damn it:: ...she had to wear a bra! ::Overly dramatic music plays, making it glaringly obvious that I use this dramatic music bit *WAY* too much::

> She knew how she'd feel if it had been....

Ukyo:  ::Imitating the author:: I'd tell you who, but I'd have to kill you.
Aisha: Oooooo, that sounds like a ninja code!
Ukyo:  ::Back to normal:: You know, I just think it is. ::Blinks:: And don't even think about throwing in a cameo here Majin!
::However, since *I'm* the author and Ukyo isn't, I can do what I want and she can't (hahaha!). Anyway, in a flash of colors appears none other than Jubei...not the one from Ninja Resurrection though because that's just a messed up movie::
Jubei: Ummmm, why am I here?
::Suddenly, Jubei's hat splits in half for no real reason::
Jubei: Hey, that's my best hat!
::And soon, a flash of colors appears and Jubei leaves::
Sephiroth: You know, I'm starting to think Majin is running out of material here.
Ukyo:  ::Sarcastically:: No! Not, *Majin!* Never!
Sephiroth: We really should get back to riffing this fic here.
Aisha: Excellent idea!
Tasuki: You know, this joke had a lot of stuff to it.
Ukyo: The longer you talk, the longer it gets! Let's get this over with already!
Tasuki: Okay, okay!

> She realized that perhaps it was her thoughts which had driven her

Aisha:  ::Shakes head:: Don't be silly, thoughts can't be valets.

> from sleep. She sighed and looked back at the man on the bed.

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Bulma:: Ah-ha! So *that's* where Waldo is! Finally, I have found him!

> The moon

Ukyo:  ::Singing:: ...is in the sky, it's called the moon. Everyone's there...including...
Tasuki: Would you stop that?
Ukyo:  ::Stops singing:: Okay.
Tasuki:  ::Mutters some things about New Wave music:: Stupid New Wave, it's not even that good compared to the Old Wave!
Ukyo: Somebody forget to alert the readers that a corny joke was coming.
Aisha: You mean, we have to do that now?
Ukyo: Yep!
Aisha: But that'd mean half of the time we'd be doing corny joke alerts...
Ukyo: Good point...
Tasuki: Hey, my joke was *so* not corny!
Ukyo: If it were any more corny it would be in Nebraska.
Aisha: I thought you said we needed to give the audience an alert before doing that?
Ukyo: Shut up!

> was full that night,

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating an astronomer:: ...full of sh....ummm, I mean....

> the moonlight limning the contours of his muscles,

Sephiroth:  ::Singing:: When the moonlight limns the contours of your muscles...that's amour!

> emphasizing

Aisha: Do we really have to? I *absolutely* hate being *emphatic.*

> them and caressing him, making her almost jealous

Ukyo:  ::Imitating Bulma:: What do his muscle's have that mine don't? Besides their incredible mass....and largeness....and....

> of the way it touched him as he lay there in quiet slumber.

Sephiroth: You know what they say about a man who sleeps quietly.
Aisha: Errrr...what?
Sephiroth: That they errr....sleep well.

> She rarely saw him this relaxed,

Sephiroth: Well, it's about *time* somebody pulled that stick out of his bloody arse!
Tasuki:  ::Blinks:: Ummmm....okay Mr. Outback Man.
Sephiroth: You're damn right!

> his face eased of the tension usually stamped on it, looking almost peaceful.

Aisha:  ::Yawns:: Geez, this is really tiring me out.
Ukyo: Well don't worry, we have a break right now!
Aisha: Yes!
::The four MSTers proceed to leave the screening room once again::

~~~~~~~~~~~~

::Tasuki and Ukyo are both standing in the SoL deck, Tasuki with his arms crossed and Ukyo just looking kawaii (as usual)::
Tasuki: Okay, so the way I see it is....
Ukyo:  ::Nods:: Yep, I agree! I think that all of these cameos are killing our ratings *too.*
Tasuki: Uhhh...ratings? I don't know about that, but the cameos are getting pretty annoying.
Ukyo: I'm telling you, they are destroying our ratings! Look! ::Pulls out two line graphs:: You see? Line graph one is our ratings before this MST. ::Points at the first line graph, which has the line going downwards slightly:: And these are the ratings *during* this MST. ::Points at the second line graph, which has pretty much the same curve on it:: Don't you see?
Tasuki: It looks the same to me.
Ukyo: I knew you'd say that! It's because you have an untrained eye my friend!
Tasuki:  ::Looks closely at the two graphs:: Nope, those lines are the same.
Ukyo:  ::Looks at the graphs again:: Errr, oh yeah...they are. ::Sweatdrops:: Wow, these things are terrible!
Tasuki: Yeah, no kidding. I wonder why Majin even goes through the trouble of torturing us if we only have *that many* readers.
Ukyo: Remember the theme song? He wants to monitor our minds, or something.
Tasuki: Oh yeah!
::The flashing red lights go on::
Tasuki: Damn it! We have fanfic sign!
::The four MSTers enter the screening room once again::

~~~~~~~~~~~~

> Peace

Aisha:  ::Forms a peace sign:: Peace.
Tasuki:  ::Blinks:: Peace...and War! Isn't that a book?
Aisha: Ummmm, you got it backwards.
Tasuki: Oh, I do? So, you mean it's War and Peace and More War?
Aisha:  ::Sweatdrops:: Errr, no.
Tasuki: Oh, so it's just War, Peace, Sex, Lies, and Videotape then, right?
Aisha: No, it's just....
Tasuki: Oh wait! I know what it is! It's Warrior of Peace 5, staring Harrison Ford!
Aisha: NO! It's just War and Peace. ::Blinks:: By the way, I don't even think that's a real movie Tasuki.
Tasuki: I know, I just made it up....

> - somehow that word didn't suit Vegeta,

Ukyo:  ::Imitating the author:: Barbaric is *such* a good word for Vegeta, on the other hand.

> nor did it suit her own emotions,

Sephiroth:  ::Blinks:: Ohhhh wow! I would have never guessed that this fic would mention the famous Bulma's Emotions War! I thought *I* was like the *only* person who ever heard of that war!
Aisha: Bulma's Emotions War?
Sephiroth: Yeah! It's almost as famous as the Trojan War!
Aisha: Ummmm, no, I doubt that.
Sephiroth: Yeah....I do too actually.

> as troubled as they were, jumbled and chaotic like

::Red lights start flashing::
Tasuki: We have a simile alert here, code red! Move, people, move!
Ukyo: Why? Nothing will happen.
Tasuki: I know, but I just want to leave! I'm thinking that if Majin thinks we're in danger and are about to die, he'll let us escape.
Ukyo:  ::Arches eyebrows:: Yeah, sure...and maybe the sky will fall.
Tasuki: Good point.

> leaves in the wind

Tasuki:  ::Imitating that guy from Masterpiece Theater:: Ah yes, the great movie classic The Wind. The talented Leaves McCoy stars in this fine film.
Aisha: Stars? Wind? ::Blinks:: Uh-oh....I know what that means.
::Yeppers, that's right everybody. This is the perfect time for a cameo appearance. This time a puff of red and let's say...I dunno, blue smoke appears. The one and only Gene Starwind appears out of said smoke::
Gene: What the heck? Where am I?
Aisha:  ::Sweatdrops:: Why do all these cameos keep occurring? Why?
Gene: Aisha? What in the world are you doing up here?
Aisha: Being tormented by fanfics, what are you doing up here?
Gene: I dunno. So, this is where you went off to. Err....neat.
Aisha: THIS ISN'T NEAT!
Gene: Okay...
::Gene then disappears in a puff of red and blue smoke::
Aisha: BAKA TASUKI! WHY'D YOU HAVE TO PUT STAR AND WIND IN THE SAME RIFF?
Tasuki:  ::Facefaults:: Errrr, sorry.
Aisha: YOU BETTER BE!

> from her grief

Aisha:  ::Imitating Charlie Brown:: Good grief!
Sephiroth: No, bad grief!

> and confusion. Goku was dead,

Sephiroth:  ::Grunts:: IF I HEAR ABOUT THIS GOKU GUY BEING DEAD JUST *ONE* MORE TIME, I WILL GO ON ANOTHER MASS KILLING SPREE!
Aisha: Ahhh! Please fic, have mercy on us!
Ukyo:  ::Blinks:: All you have to do is hit him on the head Aisha, that will prevent him from killing you.
Aisha: Oh, really? Sweet!

> gone, and...

Tasuki:  ::Imitating the author:: ...this guy is no more, he has ceased to be, he is an ex-Saiyajin.... ::I'd go on, but I forget the rest of the parrot thing from Monty Python...::

> Gohan had been the hero?

Ukyo: Quick Aisha, turn on the Gohan signal!
Aisha:  ::Blinks:: Wha?
Ukyo: The Gohan signal! Turn it on!
Aisha:  ::Double blinks:: Oooooh, *you* mean the Great Saiyaman signal, right?
Ukyo: Errr...yeah I guess, whatever, just turn it on!
Aisha: Okay! ::Pulls out a little flashlight from hammerspace and turns it on:: There we go!
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops:: That signal sucks...
::Suddenly Gohan (who is dressed as the Great Saiyaman, mind you) appears from a puff of green and red smoke::
Gohan: Need a hand, citizens?
Ukyo: What do you know, it actually worked!
Aisha: Go figure...
Ukyo: Errr, we don't really need any help. It was just a joke!
Gohan: Oh, ummm, right. Okay then, I errr...guess.
::Gohan disappears in that same puff of Technicolor-provided green and red smoke, and *no*, it's not a festive thing...it's just because of the colors of his costume::
Tasuki: Yep, it's official, Majin's cameo jokes are sucking even more now!

> Little Gohan

Sephiroth:  ::Blinks:: I didn't know Gohan came in different sizes.
Tasuki: Yep, there's Fun Size Gohan, Little Gohan, Regular Gohan, Jumbo Gohan, and Bulk Warehouse Size Gohan.
Sephiroth: Errr...oh.

> had somehow developed a power beyond all imagining, and 

Aisha:  ::Imitating the author:: ...did I mention that Goku had died? Well, he did.

> was the one that had finally finished off Cell.

Ukyo: Ummm, doesn't *all* this stuff happen in Dragonball Z?
Tasuki: Yeah, I think it does...
Ukyo: So why exactly do we need a fic telling us it happened?
Tasuki: Ummmm...because....errr...
Sephiroth: Simple! It's fluff! You can't live without it! PERIOD, end of sentence!
Ukyo: Ummm, riiiight. I thought you hated this stuff Seph?
Sephiroth: I do, but I don't want Majin to get to me....
Ukyo: He'll just keep sending more and more stuff until you snap.....again...
Sephiroth: >_ <

> Little Gohan,

Tasuki: Didn't we go through this joke already? C'mon fic, you have to consider our feelings too!
Aisha: Yeah! ::Grumbles:: This is almost like deju vu, all over again!
Tasuki:  ::Arches eyebrows:: Since when did you play for the Yankees?
Aisha: Simple, ever since I just said a Yogi Berra quote. Duuuuuh!
Tasuki:  ::Sarcastically:: Oh, silly me!

> the innocent child she had first met those years

Ukyo: Which years are being referred to exactly?
Aisha: The Wonder Years, of course!

> ago, polite and shy, timidly hiding behind his father.

Sephiroth: Maybe he was just scared of Bulma....?

> He'd grown so much,

Tasuki: Yeah, that tends to happen as years go by.

> changed so much;

Ukyo:  ::Imitating the author:: ...he changed into a six foot tall black man who sells fish for a living, as a matter of fact.

> he was far more mature than he should be for his age. Yet sometimes
she could see in him the innocence

Aisha:  ::Starts singing:: It's a return to innocence.
Ukyo: Hey! You aren't allowed to sing songs by groups named `Enigma' around these parts.
Aisha:  ::Stops singing:: Errr, why not?
Ukyo:  ::Imitating that dude from the bar in South Park:: We don't 
take kindly to people who sing songs by groups named `Enigma' in 
these parts.

> that so marked Goku

Sephiroth: Yep, insolence *does* mark Goku.
Aisha: It said innocence, Seph, *not* insolence.
Sephiroth: Insolence, innocence, what's the difference?
Aisha: Well, one has an `s' in it and the other doesn't....
Sephiroth:  ::Facefaults:: Riiiiight.

> and was more normal for someone his tender years. Chi-Chi had tried
so hard to

Tasuki:  ::Imitating the author, because there really isn't any character I can have him imitate right now for this joke:: ...put on a bra, but her attempts were only in vain!
Ukyo: Do *you* have to keep that moronic joke alive, Tasuki? I mean, is it really necessary?
Tasuki:  ::Back to normal:: Errr, yes, I do believe it is. Without that joke in our MST, we'd have a suckiness factor of 79%....but with the joke, we only have a suckiness factor of 78.5%! See, it makes a difference!
Ukyo:  ::Facefaults:: Oh yippy, more people will watch us get tortured because of that half of a percent. ::Grumbles:: By the way, suckiness isn't even a *real* word.
Tasuki: Errr, yeah...I know. I think Majin invented it and he insists that I use it.
Ukyo: Errr...riiiight.

> shelter him, to keep him from fighting and make him a scholar. But
destiny had decreed another fate for the little boy,

Aisha:  ::Imitating the author:: ...he was to aid the Scrubbing Bubbles in their war against Lysol!

> the only son of the world's greatest champion, and the strongest
warrior in the world now. Blood would tell,

Sephiroth: No, the last vampire will not tell. Blood:  The Last Vampire will definitely not tell!
Ukyo: C'mon now Seph, stop trying to impress the readers. So what, you know the title of an anime that none of us ever saw before. Big freakin' deal!
Sephiroth: Well, errr......I know all!
Ukyo: Shut up!
Sephiroth: I'm telling you, I know all. I *know* what *we* did last night, babe!
Ukyo:  ::Cracks Seph on the head with her spatula thingy:: Yeah, we went to sleep YOU BAKA!
Aisha: Y'know, that's not even phasing me anymore.
Tasuki: Ditto.

> and both of his parents - and all four of his grandparents

Tasuki:  ::Imitating the author:: ...and all eight of his great grandparents, and all sixteen of his great great grandparents, and all thirty-two of his great great great grandparents, and all sixty-four of his great great great great grandparents, and all...
Aisha:  ::Blinks:: Okay, we *get* the point already!

> as far as they knew - had been warriors,

Ukyo: Dragon Warriors, that is.
Sephiroth: Ack! Don't speak the name of that game series in my presence!
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops:: What about Lufia?
Sephiroth: Double ack!
Ukyo: Wild Arms?
Sephiroth: Triple ack! ::Imitating Snagglepuss:: Ack, exit, stage right even!
Ukyo: Errr....Mega Man?
Sephiroth:  ::Back to normal, looking blankly at Ukyo:: *Nani?*
Ukyo: Nevermind, nevermind.

> making it inevitable that he could only be the same.

> ~~~*~~~

Tasuki:  ::Imitating a painter:: I call this painting, `Six Tildes, an Asterisk, and a Bunch of Words', it is my ::Dramatic pause:: finest work.

> All my

Tasuki:  ::Imitating Mrs. Hill singing:: ...Children is a sitcom from the `70's.

> thoughts

Aisha:  ::Imitating Faith Hill:: But I'm blonde, so I'm not allowed to have thoughts. ::Stereotypical `airhead' giggle::

Note: No offense to anybody, it's just a joke. ^_^ I don't think blonde people are stupid, I like blonde people. Especially the hot chicks. ^_^

> seem to settle on the breeze

Ukyo:  ::Imitating a child who has two not so great decisions to choose from:: Okay, fine, I guess I can settle on having my thoughts on the stupid breeze. It's a lot better than having my thoughts settling on the hazardous nuclear waste dump site, after all.

> When I'm lying

Tasuki:  ::Shakes head:: Well you shouldn't. Fabricating the truth is a *bad* thing.

> wrapped up in your arms

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Faith Hill singing:: ...or your leather bondage straps if you insist.
Ukyo:  ::Facefaults:: Only you would come up with something like that. 
Sephiroth:  ::Stops singing:: Naw, that guy from the other MSTs could come up with a lot worse.
Ukyo: You mean...
Sephiroth: No, don't say his name! It'll make Majin do a cameo!
Ukyo: Good point.

> The whole world

Aisha:  ::Imitating Faith singing:: ...is in my hands. I've got the whole world, in my hands. I've got the whole wide world in my hands! ::Stops singing but still imitating Faith:: Damn this world, it's so *freakin'* heavy!

> just fades away

Aisha:  ::Imitating the world/the Wicked Witch:: I'm fading! I'm fading! Oh what a world....errr wait a second. Oh what a solar system it is!

> The only thing I hear

Tasuki:  ::Imitating Mrs. Hill singing:: ...is my voice singing this song.

> Is the beating of your heart

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Faith singing:: But I can stop that if you want me too.
Tasuki:  ::Ignores Seph:: Hmmm, if you can only hear that...you really oughta get your hearing checked.

> ~~~*~~~

Ukyo: No symbols were harmed in the making of this lyrical interlude, thank you.

> Bulma moved back over to the bed,

Aisha:  ::Imitating the author:: ...and despite popular belief, Goku is *still* dead. So no, it isn't Goku who she's sleeping with, damn it! What's wrong with you people?

> studying the Saiyan Prince

Aisha: Whoa! I didn't know they had a class on *that!*

> lying motionless in it,

Ukyo: It...meaning the floor, and in...meaning on.

> before sliding

Tasuki:  ::Blinks:: ...she slipped.
Sephiroth: Yep, her friends should call her `Slip and Slide Bulma' by now.

> her robe off

Sephiroth: Yes! Sweetness! Score!
Aisha:  ::Blinks:: Well, at least you made some sense *this* time with the robe thing...
Sephiroth: Oh shut up, you damned damnable person you, may damnation be forever...err damned on you!
Aisha: Nevermind, you still don't make sense.
Sephiroth:  ::Grumble grumble mutter mutter mumble mumble, etc.::

> her shoulders again and slipping

Tasuki: There she goes again, slipping and dying!

> in next to him. She lay on the bed,

Sephiroth: ...and she *LAID* Vegeta!
Ukyo: Oi. ::Smacks Seph over the head with...yep, you guessed it, her spatula thingy!::
Sephiroth: I suppose now would be a bad time to mention something about a blow...
Ukyo: Yep! ::Cracks Seph over the head again::
Sephiroth: @_@ Geez! I was only going to say blowtorch! What's your problem?
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops:: Oh, errr...oops.
Sephiroth: Damn it! Why don't you just do your job and get your filthy mind out of the gutter!
Ukyo:  ::Facefaults::

> leaning on one elbow, as she continued to gaze at him.

Aisha: *THIS* is what Bulma likes to do on her Saturday nights.
Tasuki: What about fighting?
Aisha: Nope, she doesn't like to fight on Saturday nights.
Tasuki: Why not? Saturday night is all right for fighting!
Aisha: Shut up...

> His presence soothed her for some strange reason, at least when he
wasn't fighting with her or ignoring her, and it always seemed like
he was doing one or the other. It was so hard for her to get through
to him. She wondered if she ever truly would, other than these
occasional glimpses

Everybody: Nani?

> when they made love.

Sephiroth: How do you *make* love? I mean, are there special ingredients for it?
Tasuki: Viagra, aphrodisiacs, and bad music.

> What

Ukyo:  ::Singing:: ...would you doooooo for a Klondike bar?

Note: I probably did this joke before, but I can't remember if I did or not. Oh well, one joke won't make much difference. ^_^

> did he feel for her?

Aisha: I'd answer that, but underage people *may* be reading. Not like I care or anything...but still...

> There had been that one night for them, and then nothing.

Sephiroth: So, in other words, that one night was the end of the world.

> He had treated her as if it had meant nothing afterwards, and he
didn't even seem to care when she'd told him that they were going to
have a baby.

Aisha:  ::Imitating Vegeta:: No way woman, I'm not having the baby. *You're* the one who has to go through that task, *not* me.

> But at least he hadn't asked her whose it was.

Tasuki: Yeah really, because if he did we'd have to see them go to a fun talk show like Rikki Lake. ::Grumbles::

> She knew that her heart would have shattered if he had.

Tasuki: ...but instead of shattering her heart all at once, he slowly crumbled it over a *long* period of time. Isn't Vegeta just *so* thoughtful?

> Although she didn't notice the tear

Ukyo: How can *somebody* not notice something like that?
Aisha:  ::Imitating a captain of a ship:: Ahhh! Tier, straight ahead!
Ukyo:  ::Facefaults:: That was the worst impression you *have* ever done, Aisha.
Aisha:  ::Back to normal:: D'oh! Let me try again! ::Imitating a captain of a ship...which just happens to be called the Titanic:: Iceberg, straight.... ::Back to normal:: LINE!
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops:: It's straight ahead!
Aisha: I knew that! Okay, here goes take three! ::Imitating the captain again:: Iceberg, straight behind!
Ukyo:  ::Grumbles:: Just forget it!
Aisha:  ::Back to normal:: No, I can get it! ::Imitating the captain once again:: Iceberg, heterosexual forward!
Ukyo: Riiiight.

> that wound its way down her face and splashed

Aisha: You know what rhymes with `splash' right?
Tasuki: Uhhhh....'cash', `lash', and `bash'...
Aisha: Besides that!
Tasuki: Errr....'smash', `clash', `dash', `mash', `mustache'...
Aisha:  ::Grumbles:: NO NO NO NO!
Tasuki: But all of those rhyme...
Aisha: You're supposed to say Vash, dummy! As in, Vash the Stampede! DUH!
Tasuki: Oh, oh yeah!
::Suddenly in a flash of red and yellow, guess who appears (yes, Vash appears!)::
Vash: Huh? What?
Tasuki: Now look what you did! I hope you're happy!
Aisha: Errr....where's the Dunkin Donuts when you need `em?
Vash: You don't have any donuts?
Aisha: Errr, no.
Vash: Them why am I here? 
Aisha: I uhhh....don't know.
Vash: Okay! I'm gonna get some donuts then!
::Vash disappears in a flash of red and yellow::
Sephiroth: *He* was a dangerous outlaw? ::Snickers:: I'm *so* scared.
Aisha: I'd figure you'd say that...
Sephiroth: Oh, shove it up your Vash!
Aisha:  ::Glares at Seph::
Sephiroth: I said *Vash.*
Aisha: I know, I know....I just felt like glaring at you.
Sephiroth: Oh, okay...

> on Vegeta's arm,

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Vegeta singing:: The tear drops keep falling on my arm, but that doesn't mean I'll soon be... ::Mumbles the rest of the song because I really don't know it::

> the Saiyan warrior

Ukyo:  ::Singing:: Warriors, what are they good for? Absolutely nothing! Good Kami y'all!

> was well aware of it. He'd been awake from the moment she'd slipped

Tasuki: You know, they really should call a doctor about that...

> out of bed, but he'd remained still, wondering

Sephiroth: ...if Goku was *really* dead or not.

> what she would do. Would she leave him now?

Ukyo: You're asking us? What kind of fic starts asking questions to the audience? Are we supposed to know *these* answers?
Tasuki:  ::Taps Ukyo on the shoulder:: Ummm, you're in a fic, and you're asking questions to the audience....
Ukyo: How am I supposed to riff the fic if you don't let me?
Tasuki: Errr...can you stop being so inquisitive?
Ukyo: Why?Tasuki: #%@^&

> Did she want him to leave? If she threw him

Aisha:  ::Blinks:: Errr, I didn't know Bulma was strong enough to do *that.*
Sephiroth: Don't worry, Bulma's been lifting weights a lot...and taking ::Coughs:: *steroids.* ::Coughs again::
Aisha: Oooooh, that explanation make so *little* sense and explains *nothing* at all, really.
Sephiroth: You were expecting an explanation that made sense? What's wrong with you?
Aisha: I'm stuck in a satellite with three other people...ALL THE TIME!
Sephiroth: Errr, besides that?
Aisha: Oh, not much.

> then out he would leave.

Sephiroth: Can you say whipped?
Aisha: Whipped!
Sephiroth: Good job!
::The term `whipped' gave the great powerful author an idea for a cameo (no, I'm not giving the band Devo a cameo! Geez!), perhaps a little more complex then the others but oh well. Anywho, Carrot from Bakuretsu (yes, I can spell that!) Hunters appears in a cloud of brown and black smoke::
Carrot: Huh? ::Spots both Ukyo and Aisha and...guess what happens. Well, if you can't *guess* then I'll tell ya. He rushes towards them at inhuman speeds and makes *all* kinds of wild advances towards the both of them, but I'm too lazy to type him actually saying all this stuff::
Ukyo: BAKA! ::Cracks Carrot upside the head::
::Soon, Chocolate appears in a puff of red and blue smoke as well::
Chocolate: Darling! ::Seeing that her `darling' is chasing after pretty girls again, she decided on `punishing' Carrot with her garrote. Nothing unusual here folks::
Sephiroth: Ummm, maybe Majin should have gave Devo a cameo here. This would be the perfect spot to insert that `Whip It' song by them...
::The two Bakuretsu Hunters then disappear in a cloud of smoke, with the colors I just mentioned before::
Aisha: That was....pretty strange.
Sephiroth: Oh well, never mind the song then...

> He would probably fight with her

Aisha:  ::Imitating a boxing referee:: At this side of the corner we have the returning champion, weighing in at an unknown weight, the Saiyajin Prince...VEEEEEEEGETA! And on this side of the ring, we have an unknown fighter who also has an unknown weight, but for different reasons, the foxy fighter from the Briefs family, it's the one, the only, Bulma Briefs! Let's get ready to RUUUUUMBLE!

> over it, but he would never admit to her - or anyone - that he

Ukyo:  ::Imitating the author:: ...woke up in the morning with that *not* so fresh feeling.

> wanted to stay. He wasn't going to lower his pride enough to let
her

Tasuki: ....research his stem cells.

> know how much being here, after everything that had happened, meant
to him. So he pretended to be

Tasuki: ...a vampire hunter named D.
Aisha: You can't forget his friend, a witch hunter named C.
Tasuki:  ::Blinks:: You just made that one up, didn't you?
Aisha: You bet your Vampire Princess Miyu I did!
Tasuki: Okay then. ::Sweatdrops::

> asleep, unwilling to risk what she might say or do.

Sephiroth: ...like Bulma saying that she loved him. Oh no, Vegeta couldn't go on wild risks-taking excursions like that *one!*

> He'd stayed away from her all those months,

Aisha:  ::Imitating a first grader:: ...it's `cause Bulma had COOTIES!!!!!!

> but it had been the hardest thing he'd ever done. He'd had to use
all of his Saiyan restraint and control,

Tasuki: I thought only super heroes were allowed to have stuff like that? I never heard of the Saiyajin restraint and control thing.
Ukyo: Yeah, it's sorta kinda like the Spidey Sense, except it...really isn't.
Tasuki: Riiiight.

> everything he'd learned after years of training.

Tasuki:  ::Imitating the author:: ...like how to save a blue-haired woman from slipping, or how to wonder about a baka third class Saiyajin warrior named Goku being dead.

> He wanted no one to know that a single frail human female could be
a vulnerability for him, that he might have developed feelings.

Sephiroth:  ::Scowls:: Ex-villians *aren't* allowed to have *THOSE!* It's in the villains creed!
Aisha: They actually have one of those?Sephiroth:  ::Nods:: Yep, wanna see it?
Aisha: Not really...
Sephiroth: Okay, good! ::Pulls out a small packet of papers from hammerspace and hands them to Aisha:: Here you go!
Aisha:  ::Sarcastically:: Errr...thanks. ::Starts reading the papers:: Let's see....repeat after the following:  "I hereby solemnly swear to terrorize innocent people for no apparent reason. I also solemnly swear to be maniacal, and to plot to destroy or conquer the world, or to generally cause social chaos, I also swear to use lots of commas in my sentences, and to create havoc for English teachers everywhere." It also says if any of the following are broken, you will automatically become a hero character and be in the shadow of the main character *all the time*. Wow, that's....stupid.
Sephiroth: No kidding! Why do you think we stay evil and die for our causes? Hmmm? Can you picture me as a shade of...*Cloud?!?!?!*
Aisha: Yeah...actually...
Sephiroth: SHUT UP!
Aisha: Well, don't ask questions like that if you don't like the nswers!
Sephiroth:  ::Grumbles::

> Emotions were for the weak, and he would be strong. He must be
strong.

Ukyo:  ::Imitating the author:: He had to be....like a rock!
Tasuki: That's right, Vegeta needed to be built Chevy tough!

> It was his duty to be the strongest, and he couldn't fail. If
anyone knew that he was vulnerable, that someone could get to him
through her, they might use that against him.

Sephiroth: Yep, that's something *I'd* certainly use against him if I had the chance. Hmmm, note to self....
Aisha: Aren't you supposed to be dead?
Sephiroth: Errrr...no?
Aisha: Ummm, yeah!
Sephiroth: Well errr...HEY LOOK, IT'S A PLOT HOLE!
Aisha: No kidding. ::Facefaults:: You don't have to yell about it!!!!
Sephiroth: Heh, sorry.

> An enemy could use her, force

Tasuki: But *I* doubt the enemy could use the Force!

> him to do something for fear that she might be hurt. They might
even hurt her for revenge against himself. He couldn't risk that. He
couldn't risk being weakened this way. He couldn't risk -- her.

Ukyo: Yep, we figured that much out. Hey guys, guess what?
Aisha: What?
Ukyo: It's that time again!
Aisha: What time is it?
Ukyo: Break time!
::The four MSTers leave the screening room::

~~~~~~~~~~~~

::Sephiroth is pulling various colorful bags out of a large jar that he got out from...who knows where::
Sephiroth: Let's see.....::Looks at one of the yellow colored bags:: ...this is a Fun Size Peanut Butter M&Ms bag.
::Tasuki and Aisha walk in, talking to each other::Tasuki: Yep, the more we MST fics, the more I'm starting to get annoyed.
Aisha:  ::Nods:: Definitely, and we only did this one and that evil spam so far.
Tasuki: I know, that's pretty bad. Majin will probably send *more* of far *worse* caliber, knowing him. ::Sarcastically:: I can *hardly* wait!
::The pair stop talking when they see Seph::
Sephiroth: Ahhhhh! ::Looks at the large red bag he just pulled out:: It's a Jumbo size Skittles bag! Wow, this thing is huge! Who can eat *this* many skittles?
Aisha: Uhhh...Seph, what are you doing?
Sephiroth: Simple! I'm looking for bags of candy!
Tasuki: Yeah, no kidding! But...why, exactly?
Sephiroth: Because that joke we did about Little Gohan was making me think about candy!
Aisha: Oh, okay, I suppose.
Sephiroth:  ::Starts pulling out something *HUGE*:: I got a big'un here!
Aisha: Errrr....riiiight.
Sephiroth:  ::Pulls on the end of the *HUGE* box, keeps pulling, keeps pulling, and finally it budges...sending Seph flying about three feet backwards:: WOAH!
Tasuki: That's....amazing!
Aisha: That's a *lot* of candy!
Sephiroth: It's the Warehouse Bulk size of Runts!!!!
::Ukyo comes walking in just when the red lights go off::
Ukyo: Geez, that's enough candy to feed all of Europe! By the way, we have fanfic sign!
::The four MSTers enter the screening room once again::

~~~~~~~~~~~~

> ~~~*~~~

Tasuki: Uh-oh, you know what *those* things mean.
Aisha:  ::Nods:: Yep, it's time for a country music song to hurt our precious ears.

> 'Cause I can feel you

Sephiroth: I would normally make a comment here, but I'll spare myself the wraith of Ukyo's spatula.
Ukyo:  ::Imitating an old martial arts master:: You are very wise, grasshopper.

> breathe

Aisha:  ::Imitating Faith:: Would you stop breathing already? Geez! JUST DIE PAUL!

Note: I have no idea if she has anything to do with a Paul person, I just picked a random name. (Plus, I forget the name of her husband. Blasted country singers. >_ <

> It's washing over me

Tasuki: Ahhh, Faith is in the rinse cycle.

> Suddenly I'm melting

Sephiroth: I knew she was a witch!
Ukyo: How did you know she was a witch?
Sephiroth: Don't start that with me...
Ukyo:  ::Grumbles:: Fine.

> into you

Ukyo: Errrr, is that even possible?
Aisha: If it is, I wouldn't want to see the welder responsible!
Ukyo: Or the big magnifying glass that melted her...

> There's nothing left to prove

Tasuki: Then why do you keep on singing? Why do you keep on singing?

> Baby

Aisha:  ::Imitating Mrs. Hill singing:: I want my, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back ribs
Tasuki:  ::Singing the background, using a deeper than normal voice:: Barbecue sauce!
Aisha: CHILI'S, BABY BACK RIBS!

> all we need is

Sephiroth:  ::Singing as Faith:: ...a lead cup filled up with ale so we can pass out for two days or so.

> just to be

Sephiroth:  ::Singing:: ...all that you can be!!!!

> Caught up in the touch

Tasuki: It'd be a lot better if it were `caught up in the torch.'

> The slow and steady rush

Aisha: What? But that doesn't make sense.
Ukyo: Don't worry, country music isn't supposed to do *stuff* like that.
Aisha: Oh really?
Ukyo: Yep, it's only for complaining about your car being stolen, your wife running off for a younger man, your house being burnt by psychopathic cult members, and so forth.
Aisha:  ::Blinks confusedly:: But...that's not what this song is about.
Ukyo: It's a black sheep, trust me.
Aisha: Oh okay. By the way, do you get all of those weird satanic messages when you play this stuff backwards?
Ukyo: No, you just get your car back, your wife back, your house back, and so forth. ::Rim shot::

Note: Get the joke? My Sociology teacher told us that, so blame him.
Hehe, I think it's kind of funny, by *his* standards. LOL ^_^

> Baby,

Sephiroth: Don't call me a baby, you blonde wench!
Tasuki: Ummm Seph....
Sephiroth: That does it! ::Growls:: I'm putting a stop to this entire operation once and for all!
Ukyo: Errr....remember what happened when *I* did something similar to that Seph?
Sephiroth: Errr, yes. ::Grumbles:: Damnable Majin!
::The voice of MV suddenly booms, as if nobody *saw* it coming or anything::
Voice of MV: You rang?
Sephiroth: I hate you!
Voice of MV: I hate you too Sephy-sama! ::Cackles::
Sephiroth:  ::Grumbles:: Go away.
Voice of MV: Geez! Well, don't say my name if you don't want me you meanie!
Sephiroth: Nani?
Voice of MV: Nevermind, maker of frog people!
::The voice of MV fades::
Ukyo: Errr...you can make people into frogs?
Sephiroth: Well, *yeah.*
Ukyo: Then why in the world did you let Majin beam you up here?
Sephiroth: Uhhhh...I forget I could do that.
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops::

> isn't that the way that

Aisha: What do *I* look like, an instruction booklet?
Tasuki: Insert nail A into wooden board B using hammer C to create board with a nail in it D. Then, use board with a nail in it D to hit person E resulting in their deaths F.
Aisha:  ::Sweatdrops:: I think you're hanging out with Seph a little *too* much Tasuki.

> love's supposed to be

Ukyo:  ::Imitating Mrs. Hill:: I didn't end the lyric with a question mark because I didn't understand where to put it.

> I can feel you breathe

Ukyo:  ::Imitating Faith singing:: ...and I wish you'd just stop already!

> Just breathe

Everybody: Okay! ::Make loud breathing noises::

> ~~~*~~~

Tasuki: I never thought I'd say this before in *my* entire life, but *BOY* am I grateful we're back to the fic.

> After staring at him

Aisha:  ::Imitating Bulma's superego (the `angel'):: No Bulma-sama, don't stare down that low. It's not right to be a deviant!
Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Bulma's id (the `devil'), naturally:: Do it babe! You want this, we both know that! Stare all you want! In fact, engage in sensual activity all night long babe! DO IT! Do....::The rest gets censored by the Board of People Who Censor Stuff::
Ukyo:  ::Facefaults:: Well guys, thank you for *that.* I'll never be able to look at the subconscious the same again.
Sephiroth:  ::Back to normal, grinning widely because he has a duplicate of Aisha's clothes on:: Heh heh, was it as good for me as it was for you?
Aisha:  ::Also back to normal, facefaulting because Seph looks completely STUPID in her costume:: Baka! ::Smacks Seph over the head:: By the way, where the heck did you find clothes just like mine?
Sephiroth: Your twin sister Faisha!
Aisha: I don't have a sister...
Sephiroth: Errrr....d'oh! ::Magically appears back in his normal get-up, for no reason::

> for what seemed an eternity,

Tasuki:  ::Groans:: This *fic* seems like an eternity!

> she gave a gentle sigh

Ukyo:  ::Imitating the author:: ...five bucks if it didn't tell Vegeta how long she had been staring at him and his...'area.'

> and slipped

Aisha: Somebody get this woman Medical Insurance!

> into his embrace again. She moved

Tasuki:  ::Blinks:: Why did she move out of her own home?
Sephiroth: Vegeta wouldn't let her have visitation rights...
Tasuki: And that makes sense, how exactly?
Sephiroth: It doesn't, but I just thought I'd throw out some stupid answer.
Tasuki: Well, it was pretty stupid.
Sephiroth: Thus the not making sense thing.
Tasuki: Yes.

> toward him, trying to snuggle

Ukyo: Snuggles the bear has entered the fic, ladies and gentlemen!
Aisha: And he's trying to sell us fabric softener so he can ultimately take over the world! Be afraid, be *VERY* afraid!

> closer, her back against him. She didn't see the smile of relief
that crossed his features

Aisha: Vegeta, smiling? How strange!

> as he reached his arm around her and

Aisha:  ::Imitating the author:: ...hugged her TO DEATH!

> pulled her tightly, pressing her softness

Sephiroth: As opposed to *his* hardness, if y'know what I mean. ::Arches eyebrows up and down a few times like Groucho Marx::
Ukyo: Seriously, there must be something in space that makes you perverted. ::Grumbles and whacks Seph over the head with her spatula thingy::
Tasuki: What about making you *ultra-violent* Ukyo?
Ukyo: Hmmm....naw, it's just because of Seph's perversion of...errr perversion.
Tasuki: Yeah, okay.
Ukyo: Was that sarcasm?!?!?!
Tasuki: Errr, no...
Sephiroth: If you want it to be sarcasm Ukyo dear, then it can be!
Ukyo: Shut up!

> against his chest. She lay there quietly, resting in his embrace.

Aisha:  ::Imitating the author:: ...and the fic sorta goes on like this for another ten hours.

> His breath tickled her ear, making her shiver slightly,

Tasuki: Vegeta must have had ice breath!
Ukyo: Or he was chewing some Dentine Ice!
Tasuki: Hey, that stuff gives you icy cool breath that lasts, and lasts, and LASTS!
Ukyo:  ::Sarcastically:: Thank you Mr. Billboard.
Tasuki: No problem, Miss Smack-Seph-Around!

> and his warm skin against hers was soothing. She didn't know why
she was so drawn to the fiery little warrior, but something about him
impelled her,

Sephiroth: Maybe it was just the fact that he was an ex-villian?
Aisha: I doubt that.
Sephiroth: Stupid ex-villians, they always get the girls!
Aisha: And they get cast in the shadow of the main character....
Sephiroth: Yeah, that's a definite downside about that job.
Tasuki: Did they say `impaled' her?
Aisha:  ::Facefaults:: *No,* Tasuki! It said impelled.
Tasuki: Oh! Damn it!

> wouldn't release her from his grip.

Sephiroth: I'm guessing it's his muscular figure....I mean, Bulma can't really expect to get out of that grip *easily!*

> She reached down

Tasuki: Uh-oh, you know what this means!
Ukyo: Yep! ::Readies her spatula just in case::
Sephiroth: What? You expect me to say something just because Bulma is reaching down?
Ukyo: Well, yeah...that's just what *you* do.
Sephiroth: No way! Don't be *so* childish, Ukyo! I will not stoop down to *that* level!
Ukyo: But you do it like...*all* the time!
Sephiroth: Nonsense! ::Blinks:: No wait, you're right. I just can't think of any comment this time around.
Ukyo: Errr...oh. ::Sweatdrops::

> and touched his hand as it rested against her belly. Even his
hands, graceful as they were, were incredibly muscular, strong enough
to snap a man in half or tear their way through solid steel or stone.

Aisha:  ::Imitating an action figure commercial:: ...man, solid steel and stone sold separately!

> She traced it lightly with the tip of one finger,

Aisha:  ::Imitating Bulma:: I'm *this* many!!!!!

> awed at the way those same hands caressed her so gently and yet
with so much passion. He could draw things

Ukyo: Are we supposed to be happy because he learned how to use writing utensils?
Sephiroth: Apparently, we are.
Ukyo: Well la de freakin' da!
Sephiroth: My sentiments exactly.

> out of her that she'd never imagined.

Tasuki:  ::Imitating the author:: ...like an imagination, for example.

> His touch brought a heat and fire to her heart

Aisha: Ow! How is heartburn a good thing? ::Blinks:: And how the heck can a guy's touch bring her heartburn?
Ukyo: Simple, Vegeta is an `un-miracle worker.'
Aisha: Oooooh.

> and a desire to her body, something she'd never known before.

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating the desire:: How ya doing Bulma? My name is desire, and I like to make you feel all tingly inside because I want you to have a baby! ::Attempts a high-pitched girlish giggle, but it fails and sounds more like a nail scratching a chalkboard::
Everybody but Seph:  ::Hold their ears:: Geez, keep that high-pitched girlish giggle *down!*
Sephiroth:  ::Back to normal:: Errr, gomen. Will do next time!

> She'd wanted him

Ukyo:  ::Singing:: ...to want her. She needed him to need her. She would love him to love her.

> for a long time before they'd finally consummated their desires,
after both of them had fought it for so long and denied the passion
that had snapped between them

Aisha: ...like a chicken's wishbone!

> with every verbal barb,

Sephiroth: You know, that's a good name for a kid. Barb Verbal! I like it!
Ukyo:  ::Facefaults:: You *can't* be serious!
Sephiroth: Well, I am! It's a lot better than having her name be Sandy Nounal!
Ukyo: Why do I even bother?
Sephiroth: Or Nancy Adjectival! Or Kimberly Adverbial! Or Penelope Gerundal! Or...
Ukyo: Would you knock it off?Sephiroth: Okay.

Note: I'm aware that most of those terms aren't real words, and I'm also aware of the fact that that was a bad joke. ^_^ Thank you.

> every insult, every shout of fury.

Tasuki: JUMAGI! JUMAGI! JUMAGI!
Ukyo: I don't think she means that *kind* of fury.
Tasuki: Oh.

> She remembered the night they'd made love together;

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating the author:: ...she also remembered the tens of thousands of dollars she made from selling the video of their love making on the Internet.
Aisha: That's Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee you're thinking of...
Sephiroth:  ::Back to normal:: Well, Bulma did it *too!*
Aisha: Errr...if you insist.

> it was etched into her memory for all time. The passion they'd
shared, the glorious heights

Sephiroth:  ::Coughs:: *Bad use of words.* ::Coughs::
Ukyo: Well, it was either heights or widths. What do *you* think sounds better?
Sephiroth: Is girth an option?
Ukyo: NO!
Sephiroth: Then width!
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops::

> they'd reached -- she knew she hadn't experienced that alone; he'd
felt it as well,

Tasuki: Ummmm....
Sephiroth: Don't question it, just don't bother.
Tasuki: All right, fine.

> she was certain. She'd been sure of it that night,

Sephiroth: ...because she...shall we say `milked' Vegeta's....shall we say `snake' and it....shall we say...'spit' in her eye.
Ukyo:  ::Cracks Seph with you know what over you know where!::

> and was still certain about it. But Vegeta had been determined to
shatter her belief in that,

Aisha:  ::Imitating a fanfic author who is about ten-years old and has *no* idea what the term `incoherent' means:: ...it's cuz he jerk Vegeta like break things cuz he not nice Vegeta jerk?

Note: It's so *hard* being incoherent, y'know? I don't like that blue and pink butter that Parakay made in those bottles. Cheese tastes good with crackers. It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right I hope you had the time of your life. Rain, rain, go away, come back another day. Black coat, white shoes, white hat, Cadillac, that boy's a time bomb. Errr, like I said, being incoherent is so hard. ^_^

> in her illusions

Tasuki: Bulma should *really* stop blowing off steam with methamphetamines...
Ukyo: Tasuki, you're such a geek who has stinky breath!
Tasuki: HEY! ::Blinks:: Oh, wait...you mean Geek Stick Breath as in 
the name of the song! Ah-ha!
Ukyo: Errr...yeah, that's... ::Eyes dart around:: ...what I meant.
Tasuki: HEY! That's not nice, damn you! ::Insert a chain of random 
curse words here, please::

> that she would ever mean

Aisha:  ::Singing The Grinch's theme song:: 
You're a mean one, Mr. Vegeta. 
You really are a bastard. 
You use ten gallons of hair gel and snakes to comb your hair, Mr. Vegeta. 
You're a vile prince, Mr. Vegeta, and no, I don't mean the Artist formally known as Prince. 
You're a short little Saiyajin with the ego the size of a mountain, Mr. Vegeta. 
You're a crazy creepy cretin with a crazy creepy callus, Mr. Vegeta. 
If I had a choice between walking into traffic or talking to you, I'd pick walking into traffic!
Tasuki: I don't think Vegeta would like being compared to the Grinch,
Aisha...
Aisha:  ::Stops singing:: Well, since Vegeta already had one cameo in here already, I don't think Majin will have him come back.
Tasuki: Why not? ::Blinks:: And it's Majin who's sending these guys up?
Aisha: Well, it's bad for publicity the second time.
Tasuki: Errr okay.
Aisha: And, I *think* Majin is doing it.
::The voice of MV booms::Voice of MV: Nope, it isn't me. It's this weird time-space rift that's doing this.
Tasuki: I thought it was some teleporter thing that was.
Voice of MV: Errrr, yeah....that's *the* ticket.
Tasuki: Riiiight.
Voice of MV: Yep, that's riiiight. Anywho, get back to your fun fanfic watching time!
Tasuki:  ::Grumbles::
Voice of MV: Honey Nut Cheerio!
::The voice of MV fades as a sweatdrop forms on the back of each
MSTers head::

> more to him than a single night,

Aisha: She was hoping that someday she'd mean *two* nights to Vegeta!

> someone whose bed he'd shared once and wouldn't think about again.

Sephiroth: No comment.

> She'd tried to approach him the next few days, hoping that she
might see some softness in him, only to discover the

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating those Hanes commercials:: ...touch, the feel, of Vegeta. The harbinger of pure pain!

> barrier

Ukyo:  ::Makes all sorts of force field noises, just to add to the effect::

> around him had become even more inviolable. Instead of tenderness,
she found

Tasuki: ...Vegeta.

> mockery.

Aisha:  ::Imitating Vegeta:: Haha, that blue hair you have is only blue because it isn't purple, haha!
Ukyo:  ::Also imitating Vegeta:: If you shouted any louder woman, you'd be shouting very loudly! Haha!
Tasuki:  ::Ditto:: Woman, a donkey would make a better mate than you, and I *would* know! Haha!
Sephiroth:  ::Facefaults:: Sick dude! ::Goes to the imitating Vegeta stage/using a cheesy French accent as well:: I spit in your general direction woman! Haha!

> Instead of love,

Ukyo:  ::Singing:: ...and marriage, love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage. This I tell you brother, you can't have one without the other. Love and marriage, love and marriage.

> she found disdain.

Sephiroth: Vegeta? Disdainful? ::Sarcastically:: Why is that *so* hard to believe?

> Instead of joy,

Aisha:  ::Singing to the tune of `Joy to the World':: Joy to the world! Barney is dead! I chopped off his head! And what about his body? I flushed it down the potty! And round and round it goes, round and round it goes, and round and round it goes!
Ukyo:  ::Facefaults:: What are you, like eight?
Aisha: Well, it would have been boring if I sung the *real* song.
Ukyo: And a lot less stupid, too...
Aisha: True that, homeslice!
Ukyo: Never say that phrase again. ^^;;
Aisha: Okay!

> she found pain.

Tasuki:  ::Imitating Bulma:: Hello pain-san!
Sephiroth:  ::Imitating the pain:: Why hello Bulma! My name is Mr. Pain, but you can call me Mr. P. No, I didn't say Mr. T you fool, I am Mr. P! Anyway, I will make your life a living hell! Why? Because I'm Mr. P! Mwahahahaha!
Tasuki: Yay! ::Blinks:: Errr, I mean, nooooo!

> It hadn't taken long to wrap

Aisha: Oh, how timely! It's exactly around the winter holidays when you *wrap* all your presents! Wow!

> the tatters of her own pride about herself as she tried to convince
herself that she neither needed nor wanted him.

Tasuki: Yep, Vegeta didn't want Bulma *so* much that they made the show `Vegeta's Most Unwanted.'

> Bulma shuddered briefly,

Ukyo: The pun is, of course, unintended.
Sephiroth: We love puns in Japan! Yes, yes!
Ukyo: But it was unintended...
Sephiroth: So? We *still* love them!
Tasuki: I *hate* puns!
Sephiroth: Well, that's because you're from China!
Tasuki: Errr, no, I just *hate* puns!
Sephiroth: Because you're from...China!
Tasuki: No, I hate them just because they're stupid! And damn it, if you say I'm from China one more time I'm going to rip your eyeballs out of their sockets, SO SHUT THE HELL UP!
Sephiroth: But you're from...
Aisha: Seph, as much as I would like to see your eyeballs get pulled out of their sockets, I'm going to have to agree with Tasuki here. SHUT UP!
Sephiroth: Oh fine!

> remembering the pain she'd felt when he'd left so abruptly right
after the birth of their son.

Aisha:  ::Imitating the author:: ...*then* she remembered the pain she felt *during* the birth of their son, and she felt it all over again for no apparent reason at all.
Ukyo: Giving labor isn't something to joke about, kids! Remember that!
Aisha:  ::Back to normal:: Yeah! And remember kids, it's all *your* fault the population of teenage mothers is increasing, even if you *didn't* do anything!

> He'd refused to see the baby, saying that a squall

Sephiroth: Squall doesn't deserve to be in a Dragonball Z fic anymore than *we* deserve being in here!

Note: Yes, I split up the word `squalling' just for that bad joke. Forgive me, my readers. ^_^

> ing brat wasn't worth a Saiyan

Tasuki: What the hell is a *Saiyan?*
Sephiroth: It's this alien race from DBZ and stuff, that's the English version. The Japanese version is known as Saiyajin, and Majin uses that *all* the time.
Tasuki: Errr okay. ::Blinks:: Hey, how do you know so much about this Dragonball Z show?
Sephiroth: Well, it's better than watching CNN...
Tasuki: Oh...

> warrior's time.

Tasuki:  ::Imitating Vegeta as a ghetto person:: Y'know wat I'm Sai-yan?

Note: Get it? `Saiyan' sounds like `saying' so...yeah. ::Blinks:: Wow, dude, I used the term Saiyan five (including this one) times. Wow, how weird. I guess this is proof that I'll do *anything* for a joke! Yeppers! ~_^

> She hadn't let him see

Aisha:  ::Imitating the author:: ...because she poked out his eyes with a red-hot cattle prod.

> how that had upset her, other than to shout

Aisha:  ::Singing:: Shout, shout, let it all out. These are the things we can live without. So c'mon, I'm talking to you, c'mon...
Tasuki: Stop singing! There should be some law against singing!!!!! ::Grumbles some profane profanity (well, duh) under his breath::
Aisha:  ::Blinks:: Isn't there like, an amendment that protects us from such oppression?
Ukyo: Yeah, but that's in America. We're in *space!* And according to Majin's Constitution thing, ::Pulls out said object from hammerspace:: we have *NO* rights here.
Aisha: D'oh!

> at him and hurl insults

Sephiroth: ...and large boulders.

> at him. She'd only half meant them at the time. She'd wanted to
hurt him

Sephiroth: Oh? That's pretty easy to do, just chop off his toes when he's asleep so he can't walk properly. Then all you have to do is torture him like that chick did in `Misery.'
Ukyo:  ::Imitating a random character from South Park:: Dude, that's sick.

> as he was hurting her, but nothing seemed to break

Aisha: Break you say? Well, if you insist? ::Gets up to leave::
::Suddenly a loud, almost ominous voice booms. Yes, I'm talking about the voice of a certain fanfic author::
Voice of MV: NO, YOU MUST NOT LEAVE! ::The sound of thunder crackles:: 
Hey, cool it with the plastic wrap you guys! Geez! Oh, ummm....NO, YOU CAN'T LEAVE! IF YOU LEAVE NOW, YOU WILL DIE! MWAHAHAHAHA!
Aisha:  ::Grumbles:: Stupid all-seeing, all-hearing Majin. ::Sits back down in her seat::
Voice of MV: I'm not all-seeing and all-hearing! I just have monitors and audio systems!
Aisha:  ::Facefaults::
::The voice of MV fades::

> past

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating the ghost of Christmas Present:: I'm the ghost of Christmas Present. Hey, Christmas Present! ::Snickers::
Aisha:  ::Grumbles:: Moron. *Ahem,* ::Imitating the ghost of Christmas 
Future.. well, there's not much to imitate but oh well:: I'm the ghost of Christmas Future, and stuff...
Ukyo:  ::Imitating the ghost of Christmas Past:: I'm the ghost of Christmas Past! Whoopie!
Tasuki:  ::Imitating the other ghost...sorta:: And *I'm* the Little Ghost! ::Starts laughing::
::Suddenly, in a puff of blue and red (red for Suzaku, silly!) appears none other then Tamahome::
Tasuki:  ::Back to normal:: Oh look, it's the real Little Ghost! ::Laughs some more:: I hope his ghost doesn't get mad at me again!
Tamahome:  ::Punches Tasuki to the ceiling::::And with that lil' gag done, Tamahome disappears in a puff of blue and red smoke while Tasuki falls back in his seat. Little stars are circling his head::

> that wall of anger and hatred and indifference

Ukyo:  ::Imitating the author:: ...was more of a *firewall* of anger and hatred and indifference.

> that he had built up throughout his life.

Aisha:  ::Singing:: All and all it's just another, brick in the wall.

> Frustrated and distraught, she'd hit him with everything she had,

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Vegeta:: Oh no! You did it now woman! You sunk my Battleship!

> but the verbal barbs

Sephiroth: Didn't we *do* this joke already?
Ukyo: Yep, and it wasn't funny the first time...so it won't be funny if you do it again!
Sephiroth: Sheesh, I was just checking. Don't get your beautiful Diana Interjectional face all twisted in a knot!
Ukyo: You know that's not my name and...*nani?!?!?!*
Sephiroth: Oh yeah, that's right! I'm sorry Sarah Conjunctional!
Ukyo:  ::Seethes:: YOU BAKA! ::Cracks Seph over the head with the spatula thingy of CATASTROPHE (tm)::
Sephiroth: I guess now would be a bad time to mention the movie `Barb Wire', huh?
Ukyo: Do you really want me to hit you again?
Sephiroth: Why? That movie only has Pamela Anderson in it...and she just happened to be a Playboy playmate...and that just happens to be a pornographic magazine...which has naked pictures of pretty girls in it...which is *no* reason to hit me!
Ukyo:  ::Proceeds to smack Seph with the spatula again:: What? Oh, sorry, I don't pay attention to run-on sentences!
Sephiroth: D'oh! @_@

> seemed to do nothing more than irritate him.

Tasuki: Which is exactly what this fic is doing to us, and doing it to *no* end!

> And then after she'd yelled at him for a while he'd turned,

Tasuki: ...right into traffic, and he ended up killing himself.

> and without a word to her or any apparent desire to see the child,
he'd taken the spaceship

Aisha:  ::Imitating the author:: ...it wasn't his spaceship however, it was a ship that went by the name Bebop.
Ukyo:  ::Starts sniffing the air:: Uh-oh, I smell a cameo coming right for us.
::In a puff of cigarette smoke (hey, how's that for creativity? ^_^) the one and only Spike Spiegel appears::
Spike:  ::Looks around:: Huh? Where the heck am I?
Ukyo: I *told* you I smelt a cameo coming right for us!
Sephiroth:  ::Grumbles:: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just take the Kami forsaken money. ::Hands Ukyo several bags of gil::
Spike: Okay....
Tasuki:  ::Blinks:: Ummmmm Seph, you shouldn't bet Ukyo money about these kinds of things, she has a great sense of smell.
Ukyo:  ::Arches eyebrows:: What are you talking about Tasuki?
Tasuki: Oh, nothing.
Spike: I'm leaving.
::Spike disappears in a puff of cigarette smoke (which contains
arsenic, thank you Truth.com ads! Smoking is baaaad, m'kay)::

> and left.

Ukyo: ....and went on some crazy adventures in space. As a matter of fact, his little trip to space made a spinoff series of DBZ
called `Vegeta's Wacky, Wacky, Crazy, Crazy, Space Adventure (In Stereo)'

> She'd yelled at the retreating spaceship

Aisha:  ::Imitating Bulma:: You forget your house keys you jerk!
Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Bulma as well:: Don't forget to pick up some cheese!
Ukyo:  ::What do you think?:: Hey, Vegeta, remember I didn't pay the spaceship insurance!
Tasuki:  ::Come on, figure out the pattern!:: I'll get you Vegeta, and your little dog too!

> until it was only a speck in the sky

Ukyo:  ::Singing:: Twinkle twinkle little speck, how I wonder what you are.

> and she was hoarse.

Aisha:  ::Imitating Bulma:: You Vegeta, me hoarse!
Tasuki: Not...funny.
Aisha:  ::Back to normal:: Would it have been funnier with green eggs and ham?
Tasuki: Ummmm, it would be even more horribly unfunny...
Aisha: Okay, I'm glad I took my `Dr. Suess Survey.'

> Later that night, after she'd gone

Sephiroth:  ::Singing to the tune of `Walking in a Winter Wonderland':: Gone away, gonorrhea. Here to stay, syphilia. It's a beautiful sight, I'm dripping tonight. Cankers on my left and right arms.
Ukyo:  ::Facefaults:: Errr, that's enough of *that* now!
Sephiroth:  ::Stops singing:: You spoil all my fun!
Ukyo: It's my job...
Sephiroth: Who says?
Ukyo: Majin...
Sephiroth: Oh, damn it! Is that true Majin?
::The voice of Majin (thaaaaaaaat's me ^_^) booms::
Voice of MV: Yes, it is true Seph! Of course, none of you can really have *any* fun. ::Cackles::
Ukyo:  ::Grumbles:: Damn you Majin!
Voice of MV: That's not the first time I've been damned by an anime character and/or a MSTer you know...
Ukyo: Why is that not hard to believe?
Voice of MV: I dunno! Anyway, I'll stop talking so I can make you go back to your watching!
Tasuki: Damn it!::The voice of MV fades::

> to bed, she'd finally allowed the tears to flow, and to release
some of the anger and pain that had built up in her.

> ~~~*~~~

Sephiroth: Oh great, just what we needed.

> In a way I know my

Ukyo:  ::Imitating Mrs. Hill:: ...voice is *better* than Shania Twain's is.

> heart is waking up

Aisha: Ummm, if you heart were just waking up, you'd most likely be...what's the word I'm looking for...DEAD!

> As all the walls come tumbling down

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Faith:: ...literally. You wanna know why all the walls came tumbling down? Because I was angry and knocked `em all down! THAT'S WHY! DON'T EVER CROSS MY PATH AGAIN!
Tasuki: You know, I think she's talking about the walls of her heart. That would mean...she's dead! Hooray!

> I'm closer than I've ever felt before

Sephiroth: Ummmm, what?
Ukyo: I think she means that her proximity to some guy she met on the street today is really close.
Sephiroth: Errr okay, it's still not making sense here.
Ukyo: Well, ummmm....it *is* country music. I mean, making the music doesn't really make *too* much sense if you ask me.
Sephiroth: That's *too* true.

> And I know
> And you know

Tasuki:  ::Imitating Faith singing:: ...and Uncle Bill knows, and Marlon Brando knows, and Timmy the Tooth knows, and my dog Skip knows, and Ollie the Magic Bum knows, and Puff the Magic Dragon knows, and my cousin Faithless Grotto knows, and the Planter's Peanut knows, and finally, my demented half-sister named Bill knows.

> There's no need for words right now

Aisha: I wish there was no need for a dumb country music interlude right now, either.

> ~~~*~~~

Sephiroth: Great! We're free from the clutches of Faith Hill once again!
Ukyo: Hooray!
Aisha: Yippie!Tasuki: Yay!
Sephiroth: Also, it's time for a break, once again!
Ukyo: Hooray!
Aisha: Yippie!
Tasuki: Yay!
Sephiroth: You guys really need to work on your enthusiasm.
::The four MSTers exit the screening room once again::

~~~~~~~~~~~~

::Ukyo is sitting in the middle on the SoL set, while sitting on a wooden stool mind you, dressed up in a cowboy get-up (complete with straw coming out of mouth) and a banjo::
Ukyo:  ::Using a Southern accent:: Hee-haw boys and girls! It's time for Ukyo's Pointless Country Music Interlude Hour! On today's darn tootin' show, we have Aisha `Tumbleweed' Clan-Clan on apple cider bottle and Sephiroth `Kills ya Ever Time' Nolastnamegiven on the armadillo road-kill pipes!
::Sephiroth and Aisha appear in the background wielding said instruments::
Ukyo: Here goes! ::The three of them start playing a country sounding song and she starts singing:: Well, I woke up this morning and my cow was walking around. He was walking, and walking, and I was hungry so I killed him.
Sephiroth:  ::Doing background vocals:: And she killed him.
Ukyo: So I had me some meat, and I had me some more, but that didn't really matter `cause my wife just moved out again. She took my old car with her and killed my dog Rover.
Aisha:  ::Doing background vocals as well:: She killed her dog Rover.
Ukyo: So I decided I had to die, and I lit myself on fire. But I didn't die, so I pledged my soul to Satan, and livin' couldn't be any higher. I took me some drugs, and I like `em a lot, now I am a victim, of a lot of brain rot!
Sephiroth: A lot of brain rot!
Ukyo:  ::Stops singing:: And we're out of darn tootin' time, join us next week on Ukyo's Pointless Country Music Interlude Hour! Y'all come back now, y'hear?
::Tasuki walks in with a scowl on his face::
Tasuki: That was *horrible!
*::Suddenly the red lights start flashing::
Tasuki: And we have fanfic sign, again!
::The four MSTers enter the theater once more, each one of them in their respective seats::

~~~~~~~~~~~~

> Vegeta felt her shudder in his arms

Aisha:  ::Imitating Bulma:: Ewwww, I'm in *his* arms again. Where's that hunk Freezer when you need him...errr...it....maybe her...ummm him...her...it...umm, whatever the hell Freezer is!
Sephiroth:  ::Facefaults:: I know very *little* about DBZ, in fact, I don't even know how I *do* know stuff about it, anyway that's *extremely* messed up.
Aisha:  ::Back to normal:: Yeah, that's what I was going for...I guess.
Sephiroth: Errrr, no comment then.

> and tightened his grip on her. He was no longer feigning sleep,

Ukyo: ...he was *actually* sleeping this time!

> but instead moved his hands up and down

Tasuki:  ::Imitating one of those chicks from the exercise TV programs:: And up two three four, and down two three four, and up two three four, and down two three four. Now for some *real* calisthenics!

> her arms and sides, soothing and calming her.

Ukyo: Which effectively agitates and annoys *us.*

> His own thoughts were in turmoil as well.

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Vegeta/teenager trying to find out what to wear to school, thinking of course:: Should I wear this battle armor or this pink `Bad Man' shirt? Hmmm...I really like this Kakarotto's Gi too, and *that* outfit that that Sephiroth guy wears. Wow, I wish I could have cool clothing as *cool* as that, it'd be so *cool!*. I wish I could *be* him, because he's so cool.
Tasuki: How exactly is that Vegeta's thoughts in turmoil?
Sephiroth:  ::Back to normal:: Well, when a teenager doesn't know what to wear to school, it *is* turmoil.
Tasuki: Errr....ohhh.

> He knew what he'd put her through -

Aisha:  ::Imitating the author:: ...and since *he* knows, I'm just *not* going to tell you!

> what he'd put them both through -

Ukyo:  ::Imitating the author:: ...let's just say that it was horrible 
torture and leave it at that.

> but at the time it had seemed the best option.

Sephiroth: Ah-ha! Vegeta invested in the company who opposed Capsule Corp., Binder Incorporated!
Ukyo: Seph, that was the dumbest thing I heard you say while we were up here...
Sephiroth:  ::Blinks:: Yeah...you're pretty much right about that.

> It had seemed the only option.

Tasuki:  ::Imitating a spam-type message:: Tired of feeling like you only have one option? Well, with the new Optionator 5000, you'll be able to get more options for only the low low price of three hundred camels and ten donkeys! But wait, if you call now in the next five seconds, we'll throw in this bucket of fish in for free! That's right, an entire bucket of fish for FREE! CALL NOW!
Aisha:  ::Imitating the guy who talks really fast that you really don't hear:: Batteries not included. Void where prohibited. It's the end of the world as we know it, it's the end of the world as we know it! You can dance if you want to, you can leave this world behind. So whip it, whip it good! I was cryin' when I met you...
Tasuki:  ::Back to normal:: Will you *cut* that out?
Aisha:  ::Back to normal:: Fine, but I'm gonna need some scissors! ::Rim shot::
Tasuki: >_ <

> He hadn't wanted someone like her

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating the author:: ...he was looking for someone who had a more `Barbie-ish' look to her.

> burdening him with emotions, dragging him down. He hadn't wanted to
be

Ukyo:  ::Singing:: ...sedated. I wanna to be sedated. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba, I wanna be sedated.

> able to feel anything

Sephiroth: You know, not feeling anything is a definite *DOWNSIDE.* 
Tasuki: Congratulations! That qualifies for understatement of the day!
Sephiroth: Hooray!

> other than rage

Ukyo: ...against the machine.
Aisha: Why would Vegeta want to feel a band? Oh wait....
Sephiroth: Vegeta must be subconsciously fighting off homosexual tendencies, especially if he wants to feel up a band like Rage Against the Machine!
Ukyo: Do you want me to, or do you want to?
Aisha: Be my guest.
Ukyo:  ::Cracks Seph over the head with...c'mon, you know what. There really isn't a good reason behind her doing this though, is there? Oh well::

> or hatred or the desire for power.

Aisha: What do you know? Vegeta wants to be a politician!

> She'd made him want something else, something he hadn't wanted
in... well, ever.

Ukyo: Uhhh...a hair cut?
Tasuki: Candyland?
Aisha: A bath?
Sephiroth: Chocolate starfish and hot dog flavored water?

> Something he'd always sneered at others for wanting because it had
seemed to make them weak.

> And yet Kakarot wasn't weak.

Ukyo:  ::Imitating the author:: ...well physically, anyway. He's just a bit mentally weak, just a bit...

> Kakarot had these emotions, these feelings, that Vegeta had always 
scorned. He had the innocence of a child, the intelligence of a soap 
dish,

Aisha: I think that's an insult to the soap dish.

> and yet --

::Red lights start flashing::
Tasuki: Uh-oh! We have a double hyphen attack on our hands people! We must abandon the satellite!
Ukyo:  ::Facefaults:: Tasuki, this didn't work the last time you tried so what makes you think it will work now?
Tasuki: Because...it's serious! It's a *double hyphen* attack, Ukyo, a *double hyphen* attack. Don't you know how bad that is?
Ukyo: Nope...
Tasuki: Well, take a simile attack and multiply it by ten! *That's* how bad this attack is! We have to escape now, or we'll die!
Ukyo: No, we won't! Two hyphens never killed anybody before!
Tasuki: Oh sure, that's what *they* want you to believe.
Ukyo: Shut up!
Tasuki: Fine, see if I care if we all die.
Ukyo: Ummmm, if you're *so* scared why aren't you running?
Tasuki: Well, it takes a group effort to escape a double hyphen attack! Duh!
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops:: Riiiight, I think you're just lazy.
Tasuki: That just may be the *other* reason!

> he'd been the first one to reach Super Saiyan,

Aisha:  ::Singing:: Going everywhere I can, pretending I'm a Super Saiyajin!

Note: Goldfinger, good band, yes. ^_^ Changed lyrics though, but still good band, yes? ^_^

> he'd been the one to defeat that monster Frieza

Sephiroth: Well, *he* did get the monster part right...

> when Vegeta himself had failed.

Ukyo: If this is Vegeta thinking, then why doesn't it just say `he himself had failed', huh? I'm confused. Is this a narration by the author or what...?
Tasuki: Remember, to question the logic of a fanfic author is to truly go insane!
Ukyo: Be quiet, you're just trying to throw in your quote to sound prophetic and stuff!
Tasuki: Don't count your eggs before they're hatched, make omelets instead!
Ukyo:  ::Facefaults::

> His hands

Aisha:  ::Singing:: ...they were his own, they're not yours but they
are his own, his hands are his own, because they're not yours but
they are his own.
Tasuki:  ::Grumbles:: Shut up Jewel! Blast you! Why don't you go yodel
or something?
Aisha:  ::Since she *was* singing a Jewel song, she's also imitating
her...okay people?:: Yodel! Yodel! Yodel!
Tasuki:  ::Sweatdrops:: Gah!

> balled into fists

Sephiroth: It must be time for....MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!!!!
::The theme song from the Mortal Kombat movie starts playing::
Ukyo: Ummm, Seph, where's that music coming from?
Sephiroth: Simple! It's coming from the stereo system that was installed last time.
Ukyo: But that never happened!
Sephiroth: That's why plot holes are beneficial, Ukyo dear!
Ukyo: Don't call me that! ::Glares at Seph::
Sephiroth: All right Ukyo babe, honey-bunch, love muffin, jellybean, darling teddybear....
Ukyo:  ::Veins start popping out of her hand and hands:: BAKA! ::Smacks Seph with the newly improved Spatula of CATASTROPHE, V 2.0 (tm)::

> as his thoughts took him back there,

Tasuki:  ::Imitating the author:: ...to the local IHOP on Vegeta-sei.

> and he felt the woman

Aisha: Well, *that* certainly puts a whole new twist to that `I Feel Like a Woman' song.

> wince in pain as his fingers accidentally tightened too much. He
forced himself to relax, caressing
her stomach tenderly in silent apology for hurting her again.

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Vegeta/Captain Kirk:: Must.. caress.. woman's.. stomach.. tenderly.. in.. silent.. apology.. for.. tightening.. fingers.. too.. much.

> He'd hurt her enough; he knew that. She'd never deserved the way
he'd hurt her.

Aisha: ...except for that *one* time where he caught her in bed with Babadi *and* Mr. Buu.
Ukyo: Ewwww.

> He'd wanted to hurt her back then,

Everyone:  ::Starts making flashback-esque noises a la Doug...or whatever::

> wanted to destroy her for what she'd done for him. But something
had stopped him.

Tasuki:  ::Imitating the author:: ...the directors, and the editors, and the best boy, and the key grip, and the guy who really doesn't *do* anything in the show but gets his name mentioned in the credits anyway, and the producers, and the...

> At the time,

Ukyo:  ::Imitating those commercials on Fox:: It's ten o'clock, do you 
know where *your* scornful Saiyajin Princes are?

> he'd feared

Aisha:  ::Imitating the author:: ...Rosie O'Donnell and the people responsible for the Macarena.
Sephiroth: Well, it's fairly normal to be scared of the people who wrote the Macarena...
Aisha:  ::Back to normal:: Yes, I know.

> that what had stopped him was his weakness, but now he wondered.
Was it weak, or was it strong?

Tasuki: Was it an apple or was it an orange? Was it a truck or was it a car? Was it a pizza or was it just a pie with sauce, cheese, and all the toppings you can add on for only $1.99? Was it a bird, was it a plane, or was it Superman? The world may never know the answers to *all* of these questions!
Sephiroth: What the Hell, Michigan, is wrong with you?!?!
Tasuki:  ::Blinks:: What? Can't I make a riff without someone questioning my sanity?
Sephiroth: No!
Tasuki: %#@%#$%@

Note: By the way, Hell, Michigan *is* a real place. Hehe, I got that from a MST3K repeat I saw. ^_^

> It was stronger than he was, that much was certain.

Aisha:  ::Imitating the author:: ...it was Sabin in all of their profound awfulness.

> It was stronger than a man who could destroy a planet with a single
ki blast.

Sephiroth: Oh, big deal. Just because he can destroy a planet with one 
blast, he thinks he's all special now. Well, *I* can destroy 
like...four planets with my Supernova! HA!

> It made him weak; it made him strong.

Ukyo: Hmmm, Vegeta really needs to try using some Nyquil. That'd get him to sleep faster, and he wouldn't have to worry about all of this weak and strong mumble-jumble.

> He'd tried to ignore it, he'd tried to deny it,

Tasuki: ...he tried to smoother it in gasoline and set it on fire, he tried cutting into pieces with a chainsaw, he tried dropping a piano on it, he tried running it over with a reindeer, but *nothing* would work!

> but he no longer could do so.

> He'd never told her that he'd

Aisha:  ::Imitating the author:: ...took the beef from those old ladies who worked at Wendy's.
Ukyo:  ::Imitating said old lady:: Where's the beef?

> gone to see his son the first night she'd brought him home;

Sephiroth: So, why did Vegeta have to go away to see his son if Bulma brought Vegeta home? I'm confused! What pronoun is referring to what character in that part of the sentence? Are they talking about Goku or are they talking about Bulma's son or are they referring to Red Peters? Who are they *talking* about?

> he'd entered the baby's room

Sephiroth: Oh! Now I see, Vegeta went to go see the Rugrats!

> after everyone else had gone to bed.

Ukyo:  ::Imitating Vegeta/Hannibal Lector:: Haha, now it is time for me to have my snack-e-poo!

> He'd studied the child,

Tasuki: He had a....
Aisha:  ::Puts her hand over Tasuki's mouth:: No! Don't do it! That joke has been done to death!
Tasuki: Oh fine!
Sephiroth:  ::Imitating the joke:: I'm melting, melting! Oh what a world this is!
Aisha: Errr....see, I told you we did the joke to death...
Tasuki: Not *funny.*
Aisha:  ::Snickers::Tasuki:  ::Blinks:: What, do you want a Snickers bar or something?
Aisha: Uhhh...sure.
Tasuki:  ::Pulls a Snickers bar from hammerspace and gives it to
Aisha:: By the way, that was a badly executed joke.
Aisha: You're the one who said it.
Tasuki: Damn!

> sensing his ki, wondering if he'd someday become a strong warrior.

Ukyo:  ::Sarcastically:: Because you know, fighting is like, the *only* purpose of life, and stuff...

> The infant's ki was strong, but

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating the author:: ...could it take him higher? Could it fly him over yesterday?

> the woman would spoil the child

Aisha: That's why you have to check the expiration date *now!*

> and make him weak, Vegeta knew this. It wasn't until the next day

Aisha:  ::Blinks:: Wow, time is flying *pretty* darn fast here.
Sephiroth: Well, this *is* DBZ time we're talking about...so...
Aisha: Good point, I guess.

> when the woman

Sephiroth: Woman? Oh, I get it! Please mean Yasmine Bleech! PLEASE!!!
Ukyo: Uhhh, Seph, the fic is talking about Bulma...
Sephiroth: Errr, I errr ummm, I knew that!
Ukyo: Yeah, and I *almost* believe you.

> was shouting at him that he'd even learned the brat's name.

Tasuki:  ::Sarcastically:: Talk about good parenting!

> It was then he left, knowing that for the first time in his life he
cared about someone other than himself, and wanting to rid himself of
that unwanted weakness.

Aisha: It took him *this* many paragraphs to come to *that* conclusion? ::Sweatdrops::

> He thought that by leaving her, that by training in space

Ukyo: ...nobody can hear you scream for ice cream.
::Suddenly, in a puff of brown and red smoke appears Miaka, who is eating a bowl of ice cream::
Miaka: Yummy! Ice cream tastes good! ^_^
Tasuki:  ::Blinks:: Ummm, what's my Miko doing up here now?
Ukyo: I dunno, why don't you ask her?
Tasuki: Okay. Miaka, what are you doing up here now?
Miaka:  ::Stops eating and blinks:: Huh? Where am I? Hey, why am I here? Tasuki, why are you here?
Tasuki: Ummm...you know that evil Majin fanfic author guy?
Miaka: Ummm...yeah.
Tasuki: Well, he sort of trapped me and these guys ::Points to the others:: up here, for no apparent reason. We gotta watch these dumb fanfics or we'll die.
::Before Miaka could say anything, she disappears in that same puff of brown and red smoke she appeared in::
::The voice of MV, of course, soon booms::
Voice of MV: I'm sorry Tasuki, visiting hours are now over.
Tasuki:  ::Facefaults:: But you're the one who sent her up here!
Voice of MV: Not-uh, it was some other fanfic author! Nyah!
Tasuki: YOU'RE LYING!!!
Voice of MV: Okay, so I am, but oh well. You're the ones stuck in there, not me, so nyah! Oh, and thank you for being held captive in Majin Science Theater Airlines, please continue to not enjoy your in-flight fanfiction! ::Cackles::
Tasuki: BAKA!!!!
::The voice of MV then fades::

> to be a Super Saiyan,

Aisha: Everything is being a Super Saiyajin with this Vegeta guy. It's Super Saiyajin this, and Super Saiyajin that. Geez, talk about excessive.

> maybe he could purge himself

Sephiroth: Uh-oh! Vegeta's going to get an eating disorder if he keeps *that* up!

> of it. But despite his intentions, despite all he tried, the
opposite occurred.

> ~~~*~~~

Tasuki: Oh great, just what I need *now!* BAD COUNTRY MUSIC! GAH!
Aisha: Hey buddy, calm down.
Tasuki: HOW CAN I CALM DOWN AT A TIME LIKE THIS?
Aisha: Easy, the fanfics can't get any worse.
Ukyo:  ::Shakes head:: Aisha, you have *no* idea how false that statement is. Mia is a *good* fanfic author, and the spam was just a test. Oh no, these fics can be a million times more horrible, trust me.
Aisha: You're kidding...right?
Ukyo: No, unfortunately I'm not kidding.
Aisha:  ::Starts crying anime style streams of water::
Sephiroth: Oh great, just what I need...a pissed off Suzaku Warrior, a crying Ctral-Ctral, and...a really good chef who's pretty and stuff.
Ukyo: Thanks for the compliments Seph. ::Smiles::
Tasuki: CAN WE GET THIS OVER WITH!?!?!
Sephiroth: All right, we need to cease the talking then.
Tasuki: FINE!
Sephiroth: Fine.

> 'Cause I can

Ukyo:  ::Imitating Faith singing:: ...learn how to make water into an efficient fuel so we'll never have to use gasoline again, but only if my IQ was about 200.

> feel you breathe

Tasuki:  ::Imitating Faith:: ...and it's really starting to annoy me! Would you go sleep on the couch already, you loser! You'll never amount to anything!
Sephiroth: Errr...are you feeling better now that you can vent your anger out on the fic?
Tasuki:  ::Back to normal:: Much better, thank you.

> It's washing

Aisha:  ::Imitating a Maytag employee:: Yes ma'am, that's why they're called...washing machines.
Sephiroth: And you're feeling better now too, I suppose?
Aisha:  ::Back to normal:: No, but I better make the best out of this, right?
Sephiroth: Errr...yeah, whatever.

> over me

Ukyo: TSUNAMI!!!!
Sephiroth: TYPHOON!!!!
Tasuki: TEMPEST!!!!!
Aisha: TIDAL WAVE!!!!!

> Suddenly I'm melting into you

Sephiroth: Again? Man, this Faith chick needs to stay out of the volcano if she keeps melting.
Tasuki: Uhhh, how did you know she went into a volcano?
Sephiroth: Easy! I read between the lines!
Tasuki: Ummm...riiiight.

> There's nothing left to prove

Ukyo: That may be true, but we *still* have to mock and ridicule you in every way possible.
Tasuki: Why though? I mean, is there really a reason we have to say anything?
Ukyo: Simple, it's a way to keep sane.
Tasuki: Oh yeah, that's right!
Sephiroth: Blue sheep like to fly over the green sky!
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops:: See what I mean? I think Seph is cracking here...again.
Tasuki: Yeah, here we go again.
Sephiroth: I like piña colada, and I have half a brain, I'm not into yoga...
Ukyo: Uh-oh, he's speaking the lyrics to that Piña Colada song again. I hate to do this...but, I have no choice. ::Brandishes her trusty spatula of CATASTROPHE, V 2.0 (tm) into the air and proceeds to give Seph a quick smack on the head with it::
Sephiroth: Ow! What did'ja do that for?!?!?!
Ukyo: To get you back to normal...errr...whatever you call normal.
Sephiroth: Errr, okay, whatever.

> Baby

Sephiroth: Heathen! I specifically told you not to call me a baby! Now you will die...errr...eventually. Okay, maybe not right now, but you're *so* dead when I get back to Earth! You hear me, you are *SO* dead Faith!

> all we need is just to be

Aisha: What? What do we need to be? TELL ME NOW!!!!!!

> ~~~*~~~

Aisha:  ::Facefaults:: Hey! She's not going to tell me what they need to be! Damn it, talk about a completely stupid cliffhanger!

> He closed his

Sephiroth: ...checking account because he didn't want the woman to steal out of it, not that she needed to do so though.

> eyes, inhaling sharply, taking in her scent and

Ukyo: ...nearly vomited afterwards from that *horrible* smell.
Tasuki:  ::Imitating Vegeta:: Who the hell blew up the septic tank? If it was Kakarotto he is *so* dead.

> her sweetness.

Aisha:  ::Singing...err sorta:: Boys are rotten made out of cotton, girls are dandy made out of candy. ::Stops singing to make another statement:: Men are from Mars, and woman are from Venus.
Sephiroth: First of all, if boys were made out of cotton a lot of textile companies would be hunting them, and if girls were made out of candy...then candy companies would be after them. And as for the Mars, Venus thing...the last time I checked, most men and woman are from *Earth.*
Aisha: Isn't destroying phrases like those just *too* fun?
Sephiroth: Definitely.

> He remembered the moment

Ukyo: Here we go again with the flashback thing. Geez, these guys need to *forget* more things if they want to move the plot along!

> when he'd seen the android

Aisha:  ::Singing:: See Brad and Janet fighting androids...
Sephiroth:  ::Facefaults:: Stop that! You have to at least get the song sorta right to sing it!
Aisha:  ::Blinks:: Aren't those the right words?
Sephiroth: What do *I* look like, a Rocky Horror Picture Show expert?
Aisha:  ::Double blinks:: Well...sorta, you have the all black thing going on.
Sephiroth:  ::Grumbles:: Why the heck don't you do the blasted time warp, again?
Aisha: Errr...you sorta sound like one too.
Sephiroth: Call me Dr. Frankfurter and you *die!*
Aisha: Errr...okaaaaay. I'll just, leave you alone here...
Sephiroth: Damn it, Janet!

> destroy her plane.

Tasuki:  ::Imitating Bulma's last words:: Remember the Alamo...Casino I built in Las Vegas!
Ukyo:  ::Ditto:: Custard was allowed to have *his* last stand, why can't I have one too?!?!
Aisha:  ::Ditto again:: Hey! I wanted to start my own tea party in Tokyo but I had to die, damn it to hell!
Sephiroth:  ::Come now, you have to know by now:: I'm sure everybody thinks Marxism is a *great* idea but they think Bulmaism is a *stupid* one, as if!

> He'd sensed her arrival

Tasuki: The suspense is building!

> before she'd swung

Ukyo:  ::Imitating the author:: ...and accidentally let go of the bat in mid-swing, causing it to hit another player with a terminal blow. Who says baseball ain't violent?

> into view;

Sephiroth: Hopefully, it's not The View. ::Shudders:: That stupid show is *so* scary. What the hell was ABC thinking, giving Barbara Walters her own show?
Aisha: Simple, they were thinking about THE VIEW!
Sephiroth: What are you talking about, Aisha?
Aisha: You mean, you don't know what THE VIEW is, Seph?
Sephiroth: No! I don't know what THE VIEW is Aisha!
Aisha:  ::Snickers:: Ukyo, can you believe that? He doesn't know what IT is!
Ukyo:  ::Also snickers:: Geez Seph, have you been living under a rock for the past decade?
Sephiroth: What in the world are you talking about?!?!?!
Ukyo: THE VIEW you dummy! It's the power that women have which allows them, *us* I should say, to completely control far inferior males!
Sephiroth: So, all of this melodramatic THE VIEW stuff is simply referring to the power of woman to wear clothing that can be sexy? ::Sweatdrops::
Ukyo: Errr....yeah, sorta.
Aisha: Pretty dangerous power, eh Seph?
Sephiroth:  ::Sarcastically:: Oh yeah, really freaking dangerous.

> he was always aware of

Tasuki: ...the fact that he could create a spin-off show called `Vegeta's Beat Down of the Idiots Hour', if he really wanted to, that is.

> her, despite her weak ki. But he'd been so determined to ignore
her, to pretend that she didn't matter to him, that when the android
had blasted her

Tasuki: Awww, now why did C3PO go and do *that* for?
Ukyo: Isn't he a droid, Tasuki?
Tasuki: I don't know, I never saw the freakin' movie before!
Ukyo: Errr...oh.

Note: I never *did* see Star Wars *fully* before, so...like, yeah and stuff. Hopefully this knowledge won't effect your future enjoyment (????) of the fic...Mr. Lucas I'm talkin' to you here. Thank you, Georgie boy! ^_^

> he hadn't made a move towards her. If Trunks hadn't moved to rescue
her then,

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Trunks:: Don't worry Bulma, I, a pair of seemingly innocent swim trunks, will come and save you!
Aisha: C'mon now Seph, Majin has *done* that joke literally to *death* before, you should know better!
Sephiroth:  ::Back to normal:: But I didn't! Besides, how is it my fault that he has a dumb name?
Aisha: Errr...I wouldn't say that if I were you.
Sephiroth: Why not?
Aisha: Because the super fans can hear you!
Sephiroth:  ::Blinks:: You still believe in the super fans?! ::Laughs:: Everybody knows they don't exist!
::Suddenly, in a puff of purple and blue smoke appears a rather rotund girl with a rather large black tanktop on. On this tanktop there all sorts of pictures of Mirai Trunks::
Rotund Girl: How dare you say Trunks-sama has a dumb name! You shall pay!
Sephiroth: Who the hell are you?!?!?!
Rotund Girl: I'm Maria Francisca Renalda Angela Francisco, and I am Trunks-sama's SUPER FAN!
Sephiroth: You have *got* to be kidding!
The SUPER FAN: NO! NOW VILE EVIL-DOER, YOU SHALL PAY FOR YOUR VILE EVIL-LIKE CRIMES! ::Starts charging towards Seph, *slowly*::
Sephiroth: Errr...riiiight. ::Sweatdrops:: Some people need to stay away from the CAPS LOCK key.
::Suddenly, the strange girl disappears in a puff of purple and blue smoke::
Aisha: See, I told you *they* exist!
Sephiroth: Yeah, freaky.
::Suddenly, (you know, I should find another word to use besides `suddenly') the voice of MV booms::
Voice of MV: Hello children! I'm sorry about that little error! I want you to know that I'll have that...whatever is responsible for transporting people up here...removed by the next MST.
Sephiroth: Great.....I don't believe you.
Voice of MV: Yep, it will be fixed...errrr if I feel like it. I may just keep it there to further agitate you guys. Hmmmm, that sounds like a wonderfully wicked evil plan! I think I'll do that!
Sephiroth:  ::Flatly:: Yay.
Voice of MV: Anyway, sayonara!
::The voice of MV well....it fades::

> she would be dead.

Ukyo: ...good thing she ate her vegetables...
Sephiroth: ...literally, this time!
Ukyo: Guess what this means Seph? ::Facefaults::
Sephiroth: Oh, I know! ::Pulls out a little hard-hat (with a Playskool sticker on the top it, naturally) from hammerspace and puts it on::
Ukyo: Yep! It's *that* time again! ::Cracks Seph over the head with her NEWLY improved spatula thingy of CATACLYSM (tm) V 3.0!::

> He'd pretended that he didn't care.

Aisha: We *really* don't care, though!
Tasuki: You know who does care? The Care Bears do!
Aisha:  ::Sweatdrops:: Errr, Tasuki, how'd you know about them?
Tasuki: Ummm, I saw Sephiroth watching them before!
Aisha: Oh. ::Double blinks:: What what what? Sephiroth, what the heck were you doing watching that?
Sephiroth: It was the only thing on before the game...
Aisha: Oh, okay...I guess that's a good enough explanation.

> He'd even managed to convince himself

Ukyo: ...that being in an anime is a strange, strange thing that only a certain breed of person are able to handle.

> of that as he insulted his son from the future

Tasuki:  ::Imitating Vegeta:: You...you...you...future boy you! You're such a big doofus, you big doofus from the future...you!

> and then flew off.

Aisha:  ::Imitating Vegeta:: Up, up, up, and away...by the way Trunks, you suck!!!
Sephiroth: Hey guys, it's time for another break!
Aisha:  ::Back to normal:: How did you know that, anyway?
Sephiroth: Well...I got this omen from the fic and stuff...
Aisha: Really?!?!?!
Ukyo: Don't be silly, he just knew we been here for a while without a break.
Aisha: Errr, oh yeah.
Sephiroth: You spoil all my fun, Ukyo!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

::Aisha and Tasuki are standing a few inches apart with golden Super Saiyajin type wigs on::
Tasuki:  ::Coughs:: Okay, this idea of a Vegeta imitation face-off was a good idea! But ummmm, not really, errrr but whatever. So, who'll judge it?
Aisha: Oh, easy! Hey Ukyo, can you come out here and judge this for us?!?!::
Ukyo walks out and sweatdrops::
Ukyo: What the HFIL is wrong with you guys?
Tasuki: We're doing a Vegeta imitation face-off, Ukyo, won't you be the judge? It would make me *ever* so happy.
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops:: Yeah, I guess.
Tasuki: Okay!
Ukyo: All right, begin!
Tasuki:  ::Doing his `best' Vegeta impression:: I am Vegeta, I must become Super Saiyajin, I must fight, haha, Kakarotto is stupid, I am strong, haha, everybody must bow before me, haha!
Ukyo: Okay, it's Aisha's turn now! Aisha:  ::Also doing her `best' Vegeta impression:: My name is Vegeta and I am the STRONGEST FIGHTER IN THE UNIVERSE! I can defeat anybody who stands in my way without breaking a sweat! Haha!
Ukyo:  ::Facefaults:: Okay, you're both done right?
::Aisha and Tasuki both nod::
Ukyo: I must say, both of your impressions really suck!
Aisha: D'oh!
Tasuki: D'oh!
::The red flashing light that signals fanfic sign goes on::
Ukyo: Anyway, we have fanfic sign!
::The four MSTers enter the screening room once again, the costumes they have on disappear magically...as if a commercial break had occurred, or something::

~~~~~~~~~~~~

> He'd failed

Aisha: Stupid Vegeta! He can't even pass a simple test! What's wrong with him?!?!?!

> to remove that weakness though,

Sephiroth:  ::Grins evilly:: Excellent! Vegeta *does* have an Achilles' Heel after all! Mwahahahaha!
Tasuki: You know, after being around him for so long, I'm starting to just drown him out.
Ukyo: You mean, you're just *starting* to drown him out? Sheesh, it took you long enough!

> and he discovered

Aisha:  ::Imitating the author:: ...how to use his Discover card properly.
Tasuki: MasterCard ain't gonna like you for that comment Aisha...
Aisha:  ::Back to normal:: So? Screw MasterCard!
Tasuki: Getting a cat girl to say `screw MasterCard'::  Priceless. There are some things in life money can't buy, for everything else there's MasterCard!
Aisha:  ::Grumbles:: What the hell are you, a walking billboard?
Tasuki:  ::Suddenly, his shirt lights up with a Coke Cola logo:: Errr...heh.
Aisha: Nevermind!

> that at the moment Cell destroyed his son.

Tasuki:  ::Imitating Vegeta/mobster:: Cell, you dirty rat, you killed my son, now I'm gonna kill you, see?

> The monster

Sephiroth: Which monster? Do you mean the Loch Ness Monster or what?
Ukyo: I think the fic means Fafnir, the giant who changed into a dragon!
Aisha: No Ukyo, the fic is clearly referring to Cerberus, the three-headed dog guardian of the Underworld.
Tasuki: You guys, don't be silly! The fic *obviously* is talking about the Chimera!
::Suddenly, in a puff of blue and black, Zelgadis appears::
Zelgadis:  ::Looks around and grumbles to himself:: They'll never let me find my blasted cure, will they?
Tasuki: And no Majin, I'm not talking about *this* chimera!
::The voice of MV then booms as Zel disappears in a puff of blue and black smoke::
Voice of MV: Awww, you're no fun! You should have known I'd do that as soon as you mentioned the word chimera!
Tasuki: Baka!
Voice of MV: That *may* be true, but at least I'm not stuck in a satellite and forced to watch stuff!
Tasuki: SHUT UP!!!!!!
Voice of MV:  ::Sniggers:: Haw-ha! Now, then...bui bye!
::The voice of MV fades once again::

> released a

Sephiroth: ...album entitled `Yeah, I'm a Monster, So Like, Buy This...and Stuff!'

> ki blast from the cloud

Ukyo: It's probably a cloud of smoke...knowing Cell's dirty habits.
Aisha: Why would Cell be smoking a cigarette?
Ukyo: Oh, I'm not talking about Cell smoking a *cigarette* Aisha, I'm talking about more illegal substances.
Aisha: Uhhhh....it's really illegal to smoke Allegra?
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops:: Errr, as a matter of fact, I think it is...

> surrounding him. Before Trunks could even react,

Tasuki: ...or jump into the nearest swimming hole.

> the beam had pierced his chest,

Tasuki:  ::Singing:: Shot through the chest, but you're too late, Cell you give Ki blasts, a bad name.

> killing him instantly.

Ukyo:  ::Imitating Goku:: Holy cow, they killed Trunks!
Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Vegeta:: You spurious orphans!
Ukyo:  ::Back to normal:: And we're done with the `non-vulgar' edit of South Park, we're gonna call it...North Plaza.
Sephiroth:  ::Also back to normal:: Yep. Hey, you know, Sorcerer Stabber Orphen is a great anime and RPG game!
Ukyo: Oh come on, I know you never saw the anime before *or* played the game!
Sephiroth: Errrr...but I can dream, can't I?
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops:: BAKA!

> Vegeta had lost it then.

Aisha: 'It' being his free tickets to the O-Town concert tomorrow.

Note: I still hate boy bands by the way, just felt like saying that.

> The pain and fury

Ukyo: And Vegeta is concerned about losing pain and fury? What's wrong with this spiky haired man?!?!?!
Tasuki: I think he's suppressing years of not being tall enough to go on any roller coaster.
Ukyo: Hmmm, that theory doesn't sound half bad.
Tasuki: Thanks!
Ukyo: It doesn't sound half good either, though...
Tasuki:  ::Grumbles::

> that tore through him,

Aisha:  ::Takes out a picture of Vegeta from hammerspace and tears it into little pieces:: See, I'm just like the pain and fury!
Sephiroth: Oh come on, you can do *so* much better than *that!*
Aisha:  ::Blinks:: I know, you're right Seph! I'm sorry everyone!
Sephiroth: I hate it when we have to resort to instinctive riffs.
Ukyo: Yeah sure, you do it the *most* Seph!
Sephiroth: Errrr....not-uh!
Ukyo: Umm, *yeah!*
Sephiroth: Okay then!

> overwhelming his senses and intelligence,

Tasuki: Or lack thereof...

> drowning all reason and rationality,

Aisha: Where was the lifeguard during all of this drowning action, *huh?*

> was more agonizing than any injury he'd ever received in battle.

Tasuki: Well, we can cut off his head and see how he likes *that.*

> He'd felt such overwhelming hatred

Aisha: Isn't that normal?

> at that moment towards Cell

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Vegeta:: Cell, I hate you ever so much, now you must die...IN MY PROSE OF DOOM! Mwahahahaha!
Ukyo:  ::Imitating Cell...only a slightly *different* version:: Did someone say prose? I looooooooove prose! ::Squeals::
Sephiroth:  ::Sweatdrops:: Damnation! How will I kill a monster if he loves the weapon of choice?
Ukyo:  ::Back to normal:: And scene!!!

> that he'd felt that he could tear the creature apart

Aisha:  ::Imitating one of those muscle brother guys from SNL:: I can rip, ::Claps:: you up, you little girly biological android you!

> with his bare hands.

Tasuki: Wow! Vegeta is a...WILDERNESS MAN!
Aisha:  ::Flinches:: Ack! Do you have to say that so loud?
Tasuki: Yep! It's the Servo rule!
Aisha: What do you mean?
Tasuki: Welllll....I can't tell you.
Aisha:  ::Grumbles::

Note: I'm talking about the SOUTHERN MAN thing that Servo does every now and again, btw. ^_^

> He'd focused

Sephiroth: Oh good, I was getting tired of all that blurry rage and hatred.

> all that rage and hatred towards the fiend,

Sephiroth: ...meaning Vanilla Ice, the most fiendishly fiendish fiend of them all, that fiend!

> but even then he'd failed.

Aisha:  ::Makes a big `L' sign on her head:: Loser! No, I'm just joshing ya, you're really okay Vegeta!

> He'd failed,

Ukyo: Yes, we're quite aware of that. You just said it like...a 
millisecond ago and stuff.

> and then as he dangled helplessly in the air he'd watched a child - Kakarot's child no less - destroy the 
creature

Tasuki: The creature? ::Blinks:: Are they talking about the most evil creature in the world?
Sephiroth: No Tasuki, they're talking about Cell...I think, *not* Yoko!
Tasuki: Oh, okay.

> that he'd wanted to avenge

Ukyo:  ::Imitating Vegeta as a little kid:: Oh c'mon, *I* wanted to avenge him! Kakarotto's brat, you're so mean to me!!! Whine complain gripe!

> himself on.

Sephiroth: How do you avenge yourself on something? ::Cocks head to the side:: Nope, I can't figure it out from this angle *either!*

> The mongrel

Aisha:  ::Blinks:: What the heck? When did Genghis Khan get into this fic?
Tasuki: It said mongrel Aisha, *not* Mongol!
Aisha: Ohhhh, okay...*now* it makes more sense.
::Suddenly, a man dressed in old fur and stuff appears in a puff of smoke and stuff::
Man: You called my name?
Aisha: Who are you?
Man: Well, I'm Genghis Khan!
The baddest Mongol mofo around, aight?
Aisha:  ::Blinks:: Aren't you dead?
Genghis: Ummmm...yeah, I am actually. Okay, see ya my homies!
Aisha:  ::Sweatdrops:: Nani?
Genghis: Peace out mofo-dawgs!
::Genghis disappears as quickly as he came::
Tasuki:  ::Grumbles:: Well, now we have history against us! Thanks a lot Aisha!
Aisha: Heh, you're welcome! ^^

> son of a third class Saiyan

Sephiroth:  ::Starts peeling potatoes (which came from hammerspace, mind you) with his sword and accidentally nicks himself:: Oh, son of a third class Saiyajin!

> had destroyed a monster

Ukyo: Barbara Streisand?
Aisha: Martha Stewart?
Tasuki: The Blue Man Group?
Sephiroth: The guy who created Gumby?

> that Vegeta couldn't. Gohan had avenged Trunks' death when Vegeta
had failed.

Tasuki: You know, I don't think I'll *ever* grow tired of hearing Vegeta be a failure. ::Grumbles:: NOT!

> The shame

Aisha:  ::Imitating a Saiyajin army recruiter:: ...the resentment, the misery, your impending suicide, these are all things you'll get when you join the army of Vegeta-sei!

> of it washed over

Ukyo: Geez, people in this fic really need to learn how to stay out of the rinse cycle.

> the Saiyan Prince,

Aisha: Won't he technically be the Saiyajin King, since his dad died and all?
Sephiroth: As far as I know, Dragonball Z doesn't have a very reasonable technicality rate...
Aisha: Errr, okay?
Sephiroth: Don't be silly, it *isn't* okay!
Aisha:  ::Blinks:: But I'm okay. ::Double blinks:: You know what this means right?
Sephiroth: What?
Aisha:  ::Starts singing:: I'm away you're here to stay and I'm away and you're okay. You're here to stay and I'm away you're here to stay and I'm okay.
Sephiroth: Damn it! >_< I should have known it was a song cue!

Note: MxPx is a good band my friends, don't forget that...or I'll repeat myself. ^_^

> the feeling that somehow he'd lost

Tasuki: ...himself in....SPACE!
Ukyo: Danger Will Robinson, danger! Speaking of lost....that reminds me of...
Sephiroth:  ::Eyes grow wide when he realizes what Ukyo is about to say:: No!! Don't say it reminds you of Ryoga `cause then he'll have a cameo!
Ukyo:  ::Facefaults:: You just said what I was gonna say...
Sephiroth: Oh, whoops.
::Predictably, Ryoga enters the screening room. However, there isn't any special flashes of color or smoke this time...he just happened to end up here. He *is* the Lost Boy after all...::
Ryoga: Huh, where the hell am I now?!?!?!?
Ukyo: Hi Ryoga...
Ryoga: Ukyo?!?!?! Nani? How come you're up here and....where is here?
Sephiroth: Oh, we're just in a satellite and we're forced to watch fanfics by Majin, that's all. I'd say you *really* got yourself lost this time...
Ryoga:  ::Snarls:: This is all Saotome's fault! I'll get him for this!!
Sephiroth: Errrr, if you insist...
::Ryoga runs out of the screening room and ends up in distant location::

Note: Wow, two notes in a row. Errr...anyway, I know the first joke was a recurring joke. Hey, recycling stuff is good for nature you know....or something.

> everything in that moment.

Aisha: What moment? Are they talking about that time when Vegeta failed his college entrance exams? Is that the moment that he failed?
Ukyo: Most likely!

> He'd failed

Aisha: Wow, I think the fic knows when we're talking about Vegeta failing. Geez!

> to prove himself the strongest; he was nothing,

Tasuki:  ::Imitating the author:: By the way, I just thought I'd mention that Goku is dead. Also, Vegeta is a failure! He failed, he got a big fat `failure' mark on his head! Vegeta is a failure, failure, failure, failure, lalala!

> and once again a low-class Saiyan had proven himself stronger.

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Vegeta:: Damn those hick Saiyajins! Down with the Saiyajin proletariat!

> Vegeta could feel himself

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Vegeta:: Wow! I never figured out I can touch my body before! Neat-o!

> trembling with fury and self-disgust, and he forced himself to
relax as his tension was beginning to disturb the woman in his
embrace.

Aisha: ...as well as the citizens of San Francisco.

> Bulma murmured

Ukyo: Ukyo doesn't give a damn.

> something incoherent

Ukyo:  ::Imitating Bulma:: I like cheese that has spinach and cream on it, but only when it's raining cats and dogs outside on the fifty fourth day of the week in the thirteen month of the year!
Aisha: That was `Ukyo's Completely Random Thoughts Hour', if you wanna see it get canceled, tune in next week boys and girls!

> and turned in his arms,

Tasuki:  ::Blinks:: Hopefully the cops read his arms their Miranda Rights! ::Rim shot::
Aisha: It's sad when we have to go back to the instinctive jokes.
Tasuki: I *know!*

> facing him and looking

Tasuki:  ::Imitating Vegeta:: I see you checking me out, checking you out, checking me out, checking you out, checking me out, checking you out, checking me out, checking you out, yeah, I'm checking you out.

> into his open eyes.

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Bulma:: Wow, your eyes are open just like mine are! AMAZING!

> She reached up and gently touched his face

Ukyo:  ::Imitating Vegeta singing:: I'm too sexy for my face, too sexy for my face, so sexy it hurts. I'm too sexy for my spiky hair that can poke out your eyes, too sexy for my hair, so sexy I need it cut.

> as her eyes probed his own.

Aisha: Y'know, that's illegal in Mississippi...
Tasuki: Really?
Aisha: Ummm, no.

> He allowed her to see, for the first time, his frustration and self-
loathing, his fear of

Sephiroth: Hmmmm, can it be failure?

> failure.

Sephiroth: Talk about a lucky guess!

> He waited, tense, expecting to see

Ukyo: ...Goku come back from the dead, since he *was* dead after all.

> her gaze turn to one of disgust,

Aisha:  ::Blinks:: I think somebody forgot to add an `-ed' to `turn.'
Tasuki: Geez, bad author! You're supposed to have perfect grammar so we can't make fun of it! Sheesh, now we're just gonna have to throw out stupid grammatical complaints! Now look what you made us do! I hope you're happy, missy!
Ukyo:  ::Imitating a girl named Melissa:: Yes, I'm very happy!
Tasuki:  ::Sweatdrops:: Blast you Ukyo, you ruined the joke!
Ukyo:  ::Back to normal:: Since when did you start saying `blast you' Tasuki?
Tasuki: Since Tipper Gore came after me...
Ukyo: Oooooh.

Note: Censorship is evil! Tipper Gore is *bad!* Thank you, oh and....it was supposed to be `turn' in that sentence anyway. ^_^

> but slowly relaxed in bewilderment as her expression remained
patient, curious.†

Aisha:  ::Sarcastically:: Oh yes! We get a footnote explaining what the word `curious' means! Great!

> ::What does she want of me?::

Aisha: A box of Crackerjacks and a Ford Explorer, I'm guessing.

> ~~~*~~~

The MSTing of Breathe - part 2