The MSTing of Breathe
By: Majin Vegeta
Original Fic: Mia Skywalker

Disclaimer: Permission was granted from the author of this for me to do this, as usual. As you all know by now, I will *not* MST a fic or something made by a fan without that person's full permission, yes. Oh, and it's another fic by Mia. ^_^ Let's see how the third cast takes one of her ficcys, shall we? ^_^ (And I'll bet you it won't be very well, either. Hehe. ^_^)

Notes: Today's MST is brought to you by the number `5' and the letter `I', thank you. That's all for my corner and/or overly repetitive stale jokes...at least for a few lines. Anyway, the cast will remain the same as it was in my last MST (the one with the vile evil spam), and that cast is. ::Drum roll:: Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII (that's 7 people, but you knew that. ^_^), Aisha from Outlaw Star, Tasuki from Fushigi Yuugi (if it's a Mysterious Play...wouldn't Tasuki be considered an actor and not a character? ^_^), and Ukyo from Ranma 1/2. Let's see, all symbols will have the same function as they normally would...yadda yadda yadda. Just read on will ya? Or else......ummm....you'll continue reading the notes here. Errr...yeah.

Other Notes: All work and no play will make Johnny a dull boy, you remember that okay? Oh, and...will someone tell me why Jenny had to die? I just wanna know WHY! Errr...right. Oh, and on another note...my sense of humor is strange, you should know that by now. ^_^

Even *More* Notes: I decided to throw in cameo appearances every now and again, just because they help the jokes...if you want to call them jokes, that is. Oh, I don't own *any* of the characters and/or people I make cameos of. So, yeah...

The Last Note Here, I Promise: Since I wrote part of this MST around Christmas time and stuff, some of the jokes around the middle section are Christmas-y jokes. Okay?

***********

> ~~~*~~~

Tasuki: Noooooo! Not the song again! Anything but the *song!* I would rather read ten Harry Potter lemons than have to go through *the song* again!
::The voice of MV booms::
Voice of MV: That can be arranged, since Paladone did send me to the NC-17 Harry Potter section. ::Grunts::
Tasuki: Errr...I wasn't serious.
Voice of MV: Oh well, neither was I...except for the fact that I wasn't lying.
Tasuki: Ummm, right.
Voice of MV: Yep, bui bye!
::The voice of MV fades once again::
Note: I *told* you I won't forget that NC-17 Harry Potter thing Paly! Heeeeey, that nickname really sucks. >_<

> Caught up in the touch

Sephiroth: Does tag count as `caught up in the touch?'
Ukyo: I don't think so...
Sephiroth: Not even the kind of *tag* I play?
Ukyo: Nope, I don't think laser tag even counts as tag...
Sephiroth: Damn! >_<

> The slow

Aisha:  ::Imitating a slow person:: Duuuuuh, I like seafood! Duuuuh, my name is Frank!

> and steady rush

Ukyo: It *can't* be a rush if it's slow, blast it! WHY ARE YOU SINGING THIS EVIL SONG?!?!?!?

> Baby,

Sephiroth:  ::Seethes:: I told you not to call me that you fiend! Don't make me put your life total to one, because I so *will!*

> isn't that the way that love's
> supposed to be

Aisha:  ::Imitating Faith asking this question to a magic 8-ball:: What, ask again later? What the *$%# do you mean ask again later! GAH! DIE 8-BALL!!!!!!!!!!

> I can feel you breathe
> Just breathe

Ukyo:  ::Imitating Faith:: Breathe a lot! Every breath you draw will cost you fifty cents, however! It's a `service' of Faith Hill's Air Company!

> ~~~*~~~

Tasuki:  ::Cheers:: It's over, the torture is over!
Sephiroth: Ummm...the fic is still rolling....
Tasuki: I meant that *EVIL* song!!!!
Sephiroth: Errr, okay, but the fic is still rolling...
Tasuki: Don't *remind* me!

> Bulma felt Vegeta suddenly become tense.

Ukyo: The tension here is really making me tense.
Aisha:  ::Blinks:: Ummm, why is that?
Ukyo: I was being sarcastic...
Aisha: But it didn't say you were that in the colon things, so how was I supposed to know?
Ukyo: Ummm....I dunno.
Aisha: Exactly!

> She'd known he was awake since he had pulled her flush

Sephiroth:  ::Pretends to have a hand of cards:: Well I have a straight flush, so *you* lose!

> against him, but she didn't mind.

Tasuki:  ::Imitating the author:: By `didn't', I mean `did', and by `mind', I mean `care.'

> At the moment all she wanted to do was

Ukyo: ...blame Canada!
Aisha: ...buy an XBox so she can use it's technology to create a super powerful video game console of DOOM.
Tasuki: ...petition to Marvel Comics to create a X-Men type of comic called Y-Men.
Sephiroth: ...throw Vegeta out the window with the strength of a not so strong person.

> lie

Tasuki: Didn't I tell you this already? Fabricating the truth is very *BAD!*

> in his arms, have him hold her

Tasuki: What the hell does Bulma think Vegeta is, layaway?

> against him. There was something comforting in that one small 
gesture,

Aisha: That one *very* small gesture.

> after all the chaos

Ukyo: You mean *this* isn't chaos? Oh boy.
Aisha:  ::Making her voice all echoey:: Scary scary scary isn't isn't isn't it it it?
Ukyo: Yep. ::Facefaults:: Why the heck are you making your voice echo?
Aisha: Because because because I I I can can can do do do it it it, so so so nyah nyah nyah!
Ukyo: Riiiight, whatever.

> they'd been through in the past days.

Sephiroth: ...they were buying curtains at Boscovs, and couldn't decide on which color to get for the house!
::Someone strikes a dramatic chord::

> It was the first time she'd been around Vegeta

Sephiroth:  ::Blinks:: What the hell, is she a human hola hoop or something?
Aisha: It's an expression, Seph...
Sephiroth:  ::Ignores Aisha:: Hey, didn't Bulma know that the whole hola hoop thing died in the `50s?
Aisha: What are you, stupid?
Sephiroth:  ::Still ignoring Aisha:: What's next Bulma, poodle skirts and skating waitresses?
Aisha:  ::Grumbles:: I'm not even bothering talking to this baka anymore!
Ukyo:  ::Nods:: That's the spirit!

> when he was awake where he wasn't either fighting with her,

Tasuki: Oh look, it's Muhammad Al-Vegeta.
Ukyo: No, it's Saiyajin Clay!
Tasuki: His motto is `float like a Super Saiyajin Prince, sting like a biological android who has to absorb other androids to become more powerful.'

> or making love to her,

Aisha: ...furniture.
Sephiroth: Ewwww, that's *straight* off of Jerry Springer.
Aisha: I'm not talking to you anymore, Seph.
Sephiroth: But you're talking to me now...
Aisha: Gah!

> or ignoring her, or insulting her.

Ukyo:  ::Sarcastically:: I can see why people love writing romance fics about these two, oh yeah, I can *so* see it. ::Grumbles::

> The fact that he was willing to

Ukyo: ...sell everything she owned in a yard sale was a *good* indicator of the fact that he was a bad husband.

> simply hold her

Sephiroth: HOLD ON!
::Everyone but Seph, of course, grumbles at his choice of words::
Sephiroth: Uhhh...I forget what I was gonna say...
::Everyone but Seph proceeds to sweatdrop::

> this way

Tasuki:  ::Imitating the second head of the ogre from Warcraft II:: ...no, that way!
Ukyo:  ::Imitating the first head of the ogre from said war game:: He did it!
Tasuki: No he...::Double blinks:: erhm...she? did it!

> brought a flicker of hope

Aisha: Wouldn't that be considered Hope Arson then?

> to her heart again.

Aisha: We're burning down Bulma's heart here...WITH THE BRAND NEW 
FLAMMABLE HOPE!

> Maybe --

Sephiroth: Nope, it's out of the question. And for the sake of all that is evil and bad in the world, stay away from the double hyphen thing or else...
Tasuki: Did you say...DOUBLE HYPHEN?!?!?!
Sephiroth:  ::Grumbles:: Ummm, yes, yes I did.
Tasuki: We're all gonna die!
Sephiroth: Ummm, I doubt it Tasuki. Majin wants us to live so he continue sending fanfics up here and...making us suffer.
Tasuki: Oh yeah...stupid @%#%!%$ Majin!
Sephiroth: Yes, quite.

> maybe she wasn't just something convenient to him.

Ukyo: ...maybe, just *maybe*, she was an inconvenience to him.

> She'd almost been willing to accept that if it was all that she
could have of him,

Aisha:  ::Imitating Bulma:: Okay, since I can't have your air hockey table...I'll just be taking your soul and stuff, okay? Everything should be Even Steven!

> even though it would have trampled her pride and her heart.

Tasuki: And so begins the Running of the Bulls, and no Seph, I'm not 
talking about the Chicago Bulls either. I mean real bulls here. 
Anyway, these bulls will ultimately trample her pride and her heart.

> When his fists had clenched,

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating the author:: ...they stuck that way forever, 
so remember everybody, don't *ever* clench your fists!

> inadvertently digging

Tasuki:  ::Blinks:: Who'd thought that Vegeta was a coal miner?
Ukyo: The entire northern part of Pennsylvania would have to disagree with your comment about Vegeta being a coal miner.
Tasuki: Uhhh, what?
Ukyo: I'm a delegate speaking on the behalf of the coal regions of Pennsylvania, thank you.
Tasuki: Since when are you a delegate?
Ukyo: Don't you pay any attention anymore? I just became a delegate *today*, it was in the *mail.* ::Pulls out a letter from hammerspace:: See?
Tasuki:  ::Double blinks and looks at said letter:: It says you've been selected for jury duty in northern Pennsylvania, it doesn't say anything about any diplomatic junk...
Ukyo:  ::Looks at the letter quickly and sweatdrops:: D'oh! You're right! Blasted jury duty!

> into her flesh,

Aisha: Digging into her flesh?
Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Vegeta/miner:: There's blood in that thar skin!
Aisha:  ::Sweatdrops:: Well, I *saw* that coming from ten miles away.
Sephiroth:  ::Back to normal:: Really?
Aisha: No, it was really nine and a half miles away, but that's not the point...
Sephiroth: I thought it was...
Aisha: Well, it wasn't!
Sephiroth: Ummm, if you say so.

> his fists pressing

Tasuki: Oh look, now Vegeta is working with a printing press! The name of this fic should be changed to `Ode to the Blue-Collar Workers of the World' instead. ::Blinks:: Hey, it's sort of like hearing America singing...without the great poem and stuff....and the America singing part....and the being published thing...

> into her stomach painfully,

Aisha: Vegeta's Massage Machine really didn't go too well in the market, either. It was all because of this!

> she couldn't suppress the tremor

Ukyo: Oh look, it's the Bulma Briefs Fault of Japan. That one really causes some *nasty* earthquakes, let me *tell* ya!

> of pain that went through her.

Sephiroth: Apperantly, Bulma is a pain conductor. Vegeta must have felt it if it just went through Bulma so easily...

> He'd immediately released her,

Sephiroth: Well that's good. I'm sure Bulma's parents were worried sick about their daughter. ::Blinks:: Or not.

> and then the way his hands had moved

Ukyo:  ::Gasps, sarcastically:: His hands *move?* WOW!!!!! It's a good thing that Vegeta's hands are articulated!

> over her stomach where he'd hurt her, it was

Aisha: ...time for the newest game show that was sweeping the nation, `Who Wants to be the Weakest Jackass Boot Camp Survivor in Chains?'
Tasuki: That's really screwed up!
Aisha: Well, I didn't make it up! It was on the radio!
Tasuki: Oh, well...then it's okay!

> almost as though he was apologizing

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Vegeta:: I'm sorry...that I ever met you woman! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!!!

> for having caused her pain. It had surprised her

Aisha: Geez, people in this fic are *way* too easy to surprise.

> so much that she'd

Aisha: ...robbed the nearest bank for lollipops.

> kept silent,

Sephiroth: You have the right to remain surprised, anything that you don't say can and *probably* will not be used against you in the court of law...and stuff like that.

> until she rationalized

Ukyo: It's *about* time someone in this fic actually rationalized something! Geez!
Sephiroth: You know what they say about Dragonball Z characters..
Ukyo: What?
Sephiroth: It takes them five times longer to do things, since time is measured in little tiny episodes.
Ukyo: Uhhh, okay.

> that he was just protecting his own interests.

Tasuki:  ::Imitating Vegeta:: Don't worry my friendly little interests, I'll protect you from the Wicked Witch a.k.a the woman.

> Although he was strong,

Aisha:  ::Imitating the author:: And I'm not talking about his muscular strength, I'm talking about his *odor!* He's stinky!

> and in her eyes

Sephiroth:  ::Blinks:: Well, Vegeta really should get out of her eyes, or else he'll fall victim to the wraith of an eye wash station....or something like that.

> he was handsome although

Aisha:  ::Imitating the author:: ...it was in a `I just got ran over by a Dodge Ram' kind of way, not a `I'm wearing a tuxedo to the prom' kind of way.

> she'd never let him know that,

Tasuki:  ::Imitating Vegeta:: Woman, woman, on my bed, who's the most handsome of them all?
Ukyo:  ::Imitating Bulma:: Errrr, not you, that's for sure! Eheh!

> she knew there weren't many women

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating the author:: ...on the Isle of Men.

> that would be willing to be with him.

Sephiroth: That is, if you aren't counting the female base of Vegeta fans who do, in fact, want to be with him. That's roughly about two fifths of the entire Dragonball Z fan base.

> Most would flee in terror,

Tasuki: Does fleeing in terror really ever solve anything? I mean, they flee in terror when Godzilla attacks Tokyo...but he *still* destroys them anyway.
Sephiroth: Vegeta isn't exactly a giant reptile, and he isn't exactly attacking a major Japanese city, and...ummm. ::Blinks:: Hey wait a second! Why don't more people flee in terror when *I* travel to Tokyo!?!?!
Tasuki: You're too famous!
Sephiroth: Isn't Godzilla kinda famous too?
Tasuki: Oh yeah, but for different reasons. He's just stomping on people and stuff, and you just like...almost managed to destroy the Earth and many other parts of the galaxy, if not the universe.
Sephiroth: Okay, so what you're saying is...a big lizard is scarier than *I* am?!?!?!
Tasuki: Well ummm, yeah!
Sephiroth: Grrrr! You'll be hearing from Squaresoft about this, buddy!
Tasuki: Errr...okay?

> she knew. Others would want someone boring,

Ukyo: Hmmm, that sounds like a cue for Majin right there.
::The voice of MV booms right about....NOW::
Voice of MV: Ha-ha, veeeeeeeeery funny Ukyo. Don't make me send you up some episodes of Croc Files, because I will!
Ukyo: Errr, okay. I'm sorry!
Voice of MV:  ::Chuckles:: Crickey, that croc's a beaut! OI! That damn thing bit my bloody hand off! Bleemy!
Ukyo:  ::Facefaults:: Hey Steve Irwin, go away!
Voice of MV: All righty! Oh, by the way, ::Whispering:: that damn thing didn't really bite my bloody hand off!
::The voice of MV fades::
Ukyo:  ::Shakes head:: You never know what the hell goes on inside of Majin's head.
Aisha: I'm scared to even ask...
Ukyo: Same here.

> someone predictable, someone safe

Tasuki: You know, so they can store their money in them for *safe* keeping. ::Rim shot::
Aisha:  ::Facefaults:: That was pretty bad.
Tasuki: Yeah, I know.

> --

Tasuki:  ::Exclamation points appear above his head::
Sephiroth: Hey, wow, how'd you get those exclamation points to appear?
Tasuki:  ::A small cloud of steam then forms over his head:: GRRR! THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW! What's important is the fact that...WE'RE BEING ATTACKED BY DOUBLE HYPHENS AGAIN!
Sephiroth: So? ::Blinks:: And you don't have to yell!
Tasuki:  ::Face turns bright red::
Sephiroth: Wow man, Yu Watasei really needs to give you a tune up. ::Takes a look at a small tag on Tasuki's shirt:: Yep, I'm right. You need new paint every twenty thousand miles...
Tasuki: OH SHUT UP!
Sephiroth: Okie dokie. ::Chuckles:: I'm *so* glad I'm a video game character and *not* an anime character.

> but not Bulma.

Aisha:  ::Imitating the author:: ...she wasn't predictable or safe, she was a little boring however. Bulma doesn't want herself I guess, because she's a *wee* bit boring.

> She'd never wanted

Ukyo:  ::Singing to the tune of `Take Me Out to the Ballgame':: ...to go to the ballgame, she never wanted to see the crowd, all she wanted was peanuts and crackerjacks, so just leave her alone and give her some. Because it's root, root, root for the peanuts, if Bulma can't have any it's a shame! Because it's one, two, three crackerjacks prizes that Bulma wants!

> predictable or safe;

Ukyo:  ::Imitating the author:: ...she was more into the unstable and psychotic guys.

> otherwise she wouldn't have been attracted to

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating the author:: ....there's a long list of people here. Let's begin, shall we? Ahem. Bulma has been attracted to the following people:  The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Mike Myers, Pat Sajak (but *not* Vanea White, mind you), the entire cast of `Full House', Kermit the Frog, that gay guy from `Survivor', the man in the iron mask, Mr. Clean, and Captain Linger from Cartoon Network's Adult Swim thing.

> Yamcha, whom she'd met when he was still a desert bandit

Aisha:  ::Double blinks:: Hey, aren't you a desert bandit Tasuki?
Tasuki: Well, yeah, I am....ummm, part time desert bandit now anyway.
Aisha: I wonder if Bulma would be attracted to you too?
Tasuki: What do I care?
Sephiroth:  ::Snickers:: Are you gay Tasuki?
Tasuki: NO, DAMN IT SEPH!
Sephiroth: Then why do you hate girls?
Tasuki: I JUST DO, OKAY?
Sephiroth: Yeah, suuuuuure.
Tasuki: REKKA SHIEN!!!! ::Fire spews from his tessan and engulfs Seph::
Sephiroth: Owie. @_@
Aisha: See, that's what you get for getting him riled up!
Sephiroth: I had *worse!*
Tasuki: REKKA...
Aisha:  ::Facefaults:: Ummm guys, we have a fanfic to pick apart here.
Tasuki:  ::Grumbles:: Okay, okay, fine!

> and was trying to rob herself

Ukyo: How can one rob them self? I'm confused! Bulma is trying to rob herself.
Aisha: Don't worry about it Ukyo, it's just the tense that's all. Yamcha was the one that was trying to rob her...
Ukyo: Errr, okay. It should have just said that then!
Aisha: It did...
Ukyo: Be quiet!

> and Goku.

Sephiroth: ...was dead. He was gone, he was pushing up daisies, he was sleeping with the fishes, he was dancing with the Grim Reaper, he was...
Ukyo: We *got* the point already!
Sephiroth: Errr, okay.

> She considered Yamcha for a moment.

Tasuki: Tell me again guys, why is it that we're even stuck up here?
Aisha: Because Majin captured us for like....no apparent reason at all.
Tasuki: STUPID MAJIN!
Aisha: Exactly!

> She realized that she'd been getting bored

Ukyo: Hey, just like us!

> in that relationship for a few years,

Sephiroth: That's about three DBZ episodes, or it could be three hundred. It all depends on some kind of fighting being involved. If there isn't any fighting, time goes faster. If there is, time slows down. I call it the `Sephiroth Theory of Dragonball Z Time (trademark).'
Ukyo: Come on, do you *really* think someone is going to try to steal a theory with a name *that* stupid?!?!?!
Sephiroth: You never know, my fiend...err I mean friend, you just never know.

> even before she'd gone to Namek and met Vegeta.

Aisha:  ::Imitating the author:: ...at Macys during the sale on spandex body suits.

> She'd stayed in that relationship

Tasuki:  ::Blinks:: Right about now would be a good time for some ACTION! START THE DAMN ACTION, GEEZ! YOU'RE BORING ME TO TEARS HERE!
Aisha:  ::Blinks:: But you don't look like you're crying...
Tasuki: >_<

> because... well, she wasn't really sure why she had.

Sephiroth: Nobody really cares why she had, anyway...

> It was probably at least partially complacency;

Tasuki: Oh yeah, I'm sure Bulma was partially complacent *all right!*
Ukyo: You have no idea what complacent means, do you Tasuki?
Tasuki: Errr, yeah I do!
Ukyo: Then what does it mean?
Tasuki: It means uhhh....to place...errr...next to the intercom!
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops:: Ummm, no...
Tasuki: Errr, I know I was just joking! It really means to comply by giving me all of your cents!
Ukyo:  ::Two sweatdrops form behind her head:: No, it just means that she was partially satisfied! Geez!
Tasuki: I knew that!
Ukyo:  ::Starts grumbling inaudibly::

> it was easier to keep

Ukyo: ...Yamcha in a Ziplock container than it was to keep Vegeta in one.

> with what she already knew

Sephiroth: I'm not commenting on that, I'm just not gonna do it.
Tasuki: Why not?Sephiroth: I don't want to get hit on the head, plus I would rather have the readers not read what I have to say...
Tasuki: Errrr...okay. Wait a second, we have an....audience?
Sephiroth:  ::Blinks:: Yeah, you just figured that out?
Tasuki: Yeah! 
Sephiroth: Aren't you an anime character again? I'd thought you'd know that...?
Tasuki: Nope! ::Sweatdrops::
Sephiroth: Errr, okay. How about....you just wave to them then?
Tasuki: Okay....::Sheepishly waves:: ...errr, hi readers!
Sephiroth:  ::Sarcastically:: Oh, what a great greeting...
Tasuki: SHUT UP!!!!

> than it was to try

Aisha: ...balancing on a unicycle one-footed while holding a lit candle in the air with your nose *and* undressing at the same time.
Ukyo: One little miss and you'd be burnt pretty bad...huh?
Aisha: Nope!
Ukyo: What do you mean, `nope?'
Aisha: Well, *I* wouldn't be burnt up at all since this is Bulma we're talking about...
Ukyo: Oh yeah. ::Facefaults:: You and your technicalities, geez.
Aisha: I think that was my first one...
Ukyo: Errr well, it doesn't matter!
Aisha: Uhhh, okay.

> to find someone new.

Tasuki: *Actually* you could easily find someone new at a slave auction...
Ukyo: This isn't ancient China anymore Tasuki, remember?
Tasuki: I know. It's not like I said there was anything right about slavery, anyway.
Ukyo: Yeah, but....you made a joke about it...
Tasuki: So?
Ukyo: Ummmm....it's bad and stuff!
Tasuki: We make jokes about things ten times worse than that...
Ukyo: Good point!

> She'd been drawn

Sephiroth: Well, I certainly *hope* so! If she wasn't drawn, then how could she be a character in Dragonball Z? She couldn't....because she wouldn't exist!

> to Yamcha

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Yamcha:: Note to self, get rid of Bulma magnetic forcefield.

> from the beginning

Aisha: Well whoop-de-doo, ask me if I care!
Ukyo: Aisha, do you care?
Aisha: Not at all!

> because of the aura of mystery

Tasuki: That's entirely the wrong fanfic genre, come on people! This is *no* mystery fic! It's not mysterious in any way! It's more like a stupid...
Sephiroth:  ::Coughs very loudly as Tasuki rambles on vulgarly:: Nothing like coughing to censor some stuff...
Tasuki: Stupid censorship, I'll tell ya what I think of it all right! It's all a bunch of...
Sephiroth:  ::Coughs very loudly as Tasuki rambles on again:: See my point?
Tasuki: Now let me tell ya what's mysterious, it's Fushigi Yuugi you bastards! It's the *MYSTERIOUS* Play for Kami's sake! GEEZ!
Sephiroth: I just diagnosed our friend Tasuki here with a case of the `Barret Potty Mouth'...Ukyo, please inject fifty CCs of Ajax into Tasuki's veins, STAT!
Ukyo: Ummm...isn't that like....*DEADLY?!?*
Sephiroth: Errr, oh yeah!
Aisha: You know guys, that whole thing was completely random-like and ummm...kinda dumb.
Tasuki: I'll tell ya what I think about that Aisha....
Sephiroth:  ::Coughs loudly again to `censor' Tasuki's obscene rants:: Here we go again.

> and danger surrounding him,

Aisha: Who does this Yamcha guy think he is, Indiana Jones?

> but that had changed once she'd gotten to know him.

Aisha: She found out that Yamcha really was a bisexual cross dressing Nazi Eskimo narcoleptic who liked to have sex with furniture. She also found out that Yamcha cheated on her with Oolong, who happened to be a communist sadomasochistic necrophiliac shape shifting pig who was aroused by bisexual cross dressing Nazi Eskimos like Yamcha!
Ukyo: That's really, really, really, really, really.....messed up!
Aisha: I know! I was the one who thought of it! ::Sweatdrops:: Unfortunately. Talk about a bad image in my head! @_@
Ukyo: Tell me about it. @_@

> Despite his profession

Sephiroth: Which is...? What exactly?
Tasuki: He's a desert bandit, remember!
Sephiroth: Yeah I remember, I just don't think it fits the guy. I'd think he'd do much better if his job was something like a professional casualty of society or another victim of reality or something like that.
Tasuki: Oh uhhhh, right.

> he'd been emotionally innocent,

Ukyo: Talk about a bad career move!

> afraid of women

Sephiroth: The only women I'm afraid of are the ones with giant spatula things that they can use on your head!

> and then easily led by her

Aisha:  ::Blinks:: Wow, Bulma is a Yamcha-herder! Go figure!

> when she'd tried to control him. He didn't even fight

Ukyo:  ::Imitating a cheerleader:: Y-a-m-c-h-a, he don't need no alibi! He's Yamcha! He's Yamcha! GOOOOOOO YAMCHA! Fight fight fight! Win win win!
Sephiroth: Do you have the prize backstage or what? Can I win it by entering a contest or what? Hmmmm?
Ukyo:  ::Back to normal:: Shut up!
Aisha: @_@ Imagining Ukyo as a cheerleader makes me dizzy!
Ukyo:  ::Blinks:: Ummm, why's that Aisha?
Aisha: I'm scared of things and people that are *way* too perky and socially accepted because they make fun of socially inept people.
Ukyo: Errr, okay. -_-;;;

> it when she ordered him

Aisha:  ::Imitating Bulma:: Hey Yamcha, wash the decks! Man the torpedoes! And so on!

> around and started changing him.

Aisha: ...into a mascot panda called the Sexual Harassment Panda.

Note: Don'cha love South Park? ^_^ If you say `yes' I'll give you a dollar with a one hundred percent gift tax on it!

> He never fought back,

Sephiroth: Goodie-goodies annoy me. ::Grumbles:: Stupid goodie-goodies!

> but instead allowed himself to be controlled. It had never occurred 
to him - or

Ukyo: Oh look, it's a math problem in the middle of a sentence!
Tasuki: Yes! I love these things! ::Grumbles:: Hey, didn't we kinda do this joke before?
Ukyo: Yeah...sorta...
Tasuki: Oh well, repetition is good.
Ukyo: Unless you're a fanfic author named Majin and you use the same *bad* joke *too* much....
Tasuki: Which Majin does *WAY* too much!

> even to her - that she'd been trying to spark

Aisha:  ::Blinks:: Who would have thought that Bulma was a pyromaniac and insane arsonist?
Tasuki:  ::Raises hand:: I *knew* she was one ever since I heard her name!
Aisha: I guess pyromaniacs can find other pyros easier than normal people.
Tasuki: SHUT UP!
Aisha: ^_^

> something in him, to get him to argue

Ukyo:  ::Imitating Bulma:: Argue with me, damn you!
Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Yamcha:: But...but...I don't wanna!
Ukyo: DAMN IT YAMCHA!

> with her, to challenge her, to oppose her.

Sephiroth: Guess what time it is!
Ukyo: What time is it Seph?
Sephiroth: It's that time again!
Ukyo: What time would *that* be?
Sephiroth: You know!
Ukyo: No, I *DON'T* know!
Sephiroth: Yeah you do!
Ukyo: JUST TELL ME WHAT THE HELL TIME IT IS, DAMN IT!
Sephiroth: Okay, okay...no need for yelling!
Tasuki:  ::Sneezes:: *Tenchi reference* ::Sneezes::
Sephiroth: Bless you, and yes it was a Tenchi reference! Anyway, it's time for a break once again! Our final break as a matter of fact!
Ukyo: Oh, okay. Hooray!
::The MSTers leave the screening room once again::

~~~~~~~~~~~~

::Sephiroth is sitting on a bench and behind him is a talk-show-like set::
Sephiroth: Hello everyone! It's time for the Sephiroth Show once again! Today's topic is `Help! I've Been Captured by a Lunatic Anime Fan and I'm Forced to Watch the Fanfic `Breathe!' Wow, what an amazing topic! Anyway, I have three guests here today and let me tell you...it was hard to find `em! Please welcome our first guest, Tasuki!
::A tape of an audience applauding starts playing and Tasuki enters::
Tasuki: That's right! Tasuki in da house! 
::Starts moving arms up and down in a fashion simply known as `raising the roof'::
Sephiroth: Yes, hello Tasuki. So, you've been captured by a lunatic anime fan and you were forced to watch the fanfic `Breathe', right? Tell me, how does that feel?
Tasuki: Well Seph...it quite frankly blows!
Sephiroth: You heard it here folks, it blows! Anyway, on to our next guest! Please give a warm welcome to Aisha!
::A tape of an audience applauding starts playing once again and Aisha enters::
Aisha: Yo homies! Wassup? Yo Seph!
Sephiroth:  ::*Cheesy response alert*:: What be up Aisha? So, you also been captured and all that stuff? Tell me Aisha, how does...
Aisha: Hold on, let me make a shout out! What's up Europe Clan-Clan, Africa Clan-Clan, Australia Clan-Clan, my cousins North and South America Clan-Clan, my aunt Antarctica Clan-Clan, and my distant relative India Clan-Clan.
Sephiroth: What's up guys? Anyway, how does that feel?
Aisha: Well Seph, it sucked!
Sephiroth: Okay! Anyway, we have one final guest until we have to go back to fic riffing! Would the audience please *please* give a round of applause to Ukyo!
::A tape of an audience booing starts playing and Ukyo enters, with a little angry vein popping out the side of her head::
Ukyo: You all don't know me! Sit down! You don't know me! Haters! You don't know me!
Sephiroth: Yeeeeeeeeeees, hiya Ukyo!
Ukyo: Hiya, you bastard!
Sephiroth: Ah-heh.
Ukyo:  ::Starts chasing Seph with her spatula thingy::
Tasuki: Anyway, that's the end of the Sephiroth Show...I guess.
::The red lights go off::
Aisha: We got fanfic sign!
::The MSTers reenter the screening room::

Note: On Aisha's shout-out thing, the India comment was because India is a subcontinent...so yeah. I'm sure you guys knew that though. The whole joke is a pun on Aisha's name `cause it sounds like...Asia. But I'm sure you knew that. ^_^

~~~~~~~~~~~~

> And then Vegeta stormed

Tasuki: Vegeta is also known as Tropical Storm Vegeta by his friends...or whatever you'd call those people he knows.

> into her life,

Tasuki: ...and she was unhappy ever since.

> and suddenly Bulma had found

Sephiroth: ..out why the grass is greener on the other side of the fence - illegal fertilizers.

> the challenge which she'd always sought. He'd been her perfect
match in personality,

Ukyo:  ::Imitating the author:: ...except for that killing thing...and the one track mind on training thing. Other than that, they're perfect matches in personality except for Bulma's tendency to yell a lot and...stuff.

> and when they'd finally been unable to deny their attraction

Sephiroth: Opposite magnetic poles attract! ::Pulls out two magnets from hammerspace and they, well...attract::
Tasuki: Was there a point there?
Sephiroth: Uhhhh...no, I just wanted to show any potential show producers how informative *I* can be!
Tasuki: Go figure... ::Sweatdrops::

> for each other, the passion that they'd shown in their

Ukyo: ...cake baking contests.
Aisha: ...dish washing sessions.
Tasuki: ...pyrotechnics classes.
Sephiroth: ...mass murdering sprees.

> fights

Aisha: You know, I heard Bulma and Vegeta fight like Rock `Em, Sock `Em Robots!

> and arguments had translated

Aisha: Quick, translate their arguments into every language known to man! Keep the rest of DBZ in Japanese though...

> over

Ukyo:  ::Singing:: ...the river and through the woods, to translate the arguments we go!

> to their lovemaking,

Sephiroth:  ::Using a valley girl accent:: Like, that was like, way too much like, information, like...totally!
Ukyo: Stop that Seph!
Sephiroth:  ::Back to normal:: Okay. @_@ Imitating a brain dead, extremely popular, pretty, female who uses the word `like' *way* to much really makes me dizzy.
Ukyo: Wuss!
Sephiroth: Hey, shut up!

> almost consuming both of them

Tasuki: Just like a Black Hole, a really, really overweight guy, or my Miko....

> in its intensity. Somehow she knew that she'd never

Tasuki: ...be a pop star with *that* voice!

> have experienced

Sephiroth: You know, if I get five thousand, three hundred and sixty two more experience points, I'll be level 563! Whoo!
Aisha:  ::Blinks:: Ummmm Seph, why did ya say the first number out in words but just used numerals for the second number?
Sephiroth: Oh, that. Simple Aisha, somebody is just too lazy to type a big ol' number again!
::The voice of MV booms::
Voice of MV: Well, I could just type the rest of your lines in internet shorthand if you really want me to! Mwaha!
Sephiroth: Uhhhh, no thanks!
Voice of MV: GOOD!
::The voice of MV dissipates::
Sephiroth: Well that's the first time we actually made *him* mad, instead of the other way around.
Aisha: Yeah, I don't think was a good move.
Sephiroth: I know...
::The voice of MV booms again::
Voice of MV:  ::Snickers:: Just kidding! Haha! Wow guys, you should have seen the looks on your faces!
Aisha: You have a camera in here too?
Voice of MV: Well, no uhhhh, but that's what you're supposed to say when you do something like that. 
Aisha:  ::Sweatdrops:: Riiiight.
Voice of MV: Geez, you guys can't take a joke can you? Oh well, and I was gonna go easy on ya if you laughed at my joke.
Sephiroth:  ::Blinks:: Hey Majin, I liked that joke! ::Starts laughing a very *obvious* fake laugh::
Voice of MV:  ::Laughs again:: Haha, I got'cha again! Boy Seph, don't you feel stupid?
Sephiroth: Damn you Majin!
Voice of MV: Ahhhh, now there's a phrase I *never* hear. Anyway, sayonara!
::The voice of MV dissipates...for real this time::

> this with Yamcha;

Ukyo: Did she say Yamaha? ::Blinks:: No wonder, how the heck can you make love to a motorcycle?
Aisha: Uhhh Ukyo, the fic said Yamcha.
Ukyo: Ohhh, I knew that...

> he was too easily submissive

Tasuki: Or in other words, he was too normal for her. 
Sephiroth: Hmmmm, a desert bandit with a sidekick cat that could change forms is too normal?
Tasuki: Well, compared to Vegeta...
Sephiroth: Oh, right.

> to her, and she needed someone

Sephiroth: I'm available! I'm available! Pick me, pick me!

> that would fight back and challenge her.

Sephiroth: Oh, I can *do* that! *Ahem.* Bulma, you...dummy, you're so dumb and stuff...! Dummy! Ummm...I challenge you Bulma to ummmm....fight back!
Ukyo: Well, that certainly sucked.
Sephiroth: Yes, I just realized that.
Ukyo:  ::Snickers:: Now wonder you don't have a girlfriend!
Sephiroth: What's *that* supposed to mean?
Ukyo: Well....you tend to kill people and stuff, plus your lines just plain suck.
Sephiroth: Hey, don't bring my lines into this!
Tasuki: Hey guys, can we like...just get this thing over with?
Ukyo: Okay, fine.
Sephiroth: I concur.
Tasuki: That's probably the first and last time I'll *ever* hear Seph say `concur'.
Sephiroth: Shut up!

> And she knew that Vegeta,

Aisha: ...had a `V', formed by his bangs, on his head.

> despite his denial of it, needed

Aisha: ...Industrial Strength Hair Gel (tm).

> someone that would defy

Sephiroth:  ::Singing:: You can not stop us, you can not bring us down. Something something etc etc etc....we will defy you. ::Blinks::
Ukyo: Baka! Don't sing a song if you only *part* of the lyrics!
Sephiroth:  ::Back to normal:: Errrr...I so sorry, I so sorry. Please forgive me, `cause I so sorry.
Ukyo:  ::Facefaults:: You a moron, you a moron, yes yes.
Sephiroth: Yeah, it happens.
Ukyo: Okay, whatever.

Note: No, those aren't no gosh dang typos, them's are supposed to be like that. Yep, yep.

> as well, that wouldn't allow him to terrorize

Ukyo: AHHHHHH! I'm scared of the terror!
Tasuki: Errr...what was ummmm *that* all about?
Ukyo: Errrr, nothing,
I'm just scared of that word...
Tasuki: Which word?
Ukyo: 'Terrorize.'
Tasuki: Really?
Ukyo: Yep, horrified!
Tasuki: Then why did you say it without screaming in pure fear?
Ukyo: Oh yeah, I said it didn't I?
Tasuki: Yep.
Ukyo: Errr....ahhhhh, terror scares me!
Tasuki: Okay, just give it up.
Ukyo: All right.

> her or intimidate her, but someone that would confront him and
stand up for herself. Someone like Bulma.

Sephiroth: This is sorta like `When Harry Met Sally,' except it's Vegeta and Bulma, and it's not a romantic comedy....it's not even really funny at all.
Aisha: It's *our* job to be funny!
Sephiroth: Exactly! We make up for the lack of humor in this non-humor fic. ::Blinks:: Wait a sec, it's supposed to be serious, isn't it?
Aisha: Well, *yeah!*
Sephiroth: Oh, and here I thought it was just a really unfunny comedy...
Aisha:  ::Sweatdrops::

> ~~~*~~~

Tasuki:  ::Double blinks:: Oh great, here we go again.
Ukyo: Quick Tasuki, get your `country music interlude listening' gear out!
Tasuki: Okay! ::Salutes and pulls a set of ear plugs from hammerspace then puts them in his ears::
Ukyo: Good job!
Tasuki: *WHAT?!?!?!*
Ukyo: Nevermind.
Tasuki: *WHAT?!?!?!*
Ukyo:  ::Facefaults::

> Caught up

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Faith/police officer:: ...to Speed Racer, finally! I have to give him a ticket! Geez, do you believe some people? Just because a guy has a race car he thinks he can speed, sheesh!

> in the touch

Aisha:  ::Taps Tasuki::
Tasuki: *WHAT?!?!?!*
Aisha:  ::Makes all kinds of weird motions signaling that Tasuki should take out his ear plugs::
Tasuki: *WHAT?!?!?!*
Aisha:  ::Starts getting red in the face and just pulls the ear plugs out of Tasuki's ears:: BAKA!
Tasuki: *WHAT?!?!?!* Oh wait, my ear plugs aren't in anymore.
Aisha:  ::Sweatdrops:: Nevermind.
Tasuki: *WHAT?!?!?!*
Aisha: That's enough Tasuki, that's enough.
Tasuki: *WHAT?!?!?!*
Aisha: I said...::Starts shouting in Tasuki's ears:: THAT'S ENOUGH!
Tasuki: OKAY! You don't gotta yell, geez!
Aisha:  ::Sweatdrops again::

> The slow

Sephiroth: SLOW! HASTE! ESUNA! LIFE! HOLY! ULTIMA! FLARE! DEMI! BIO!
Tasuki: Okay, stop the magic casting there Seph...
Sephiroth: Okay!

> and steady rush

Ukyo: For the last time, a rush can't be slow if it's a rush. That is a blatant contradiction, you fool!

> Baby,

Sephiroth: For your information Faith, I *am* not a two month old baby! I'm a very grown up man! So nyah!
Ukyo: Ummm, are you sure you're grown up Seph?
Sephiroth: Positive!
Ukyo: So ummm...how old are ya anyway?
Sephiroth: Ummmm, I dunno, it's in some ShinRa file somewhere.
Ukyo: Oh, riiiight. ::Sweatdrops::

> isn't that the way that love's
> supposed to be

Sephiroth: Why are you asking *me?* Why the hell would *I*, of all people, know? Furthermore, what makes you think *I* even want to know Faith? Huh, Faith, huh?
Aisha:  ::Imitating Faith:: Well...umm....uhhh...ummm...I...ummm...
Sephiroth: Huh, Faith, huh?
Aisha:  ::Pretends to start hyperventilating and crying and...stuff:: WAAAAAH!
Sephiroth:  ::Facefaults::

> I can feel you breathe

Aisha:  ::Imitates Faith:: ...and that means you're not dead yet! I guess I gotta get my chainsaw out and just finish my job of murdering you! Mwahahahahaha!

> Just breathe

Tasuki: I don't freakin' wanna breathe right now! I freakin' breathe when I'm good and freakin' ready to freakin' breathe! Geez!
Ukyo: And the `Saying Freakin' the Most Times in One Riff Award' goes to Tasuki! ::Gives Tasuki a little gold-plated trophy that has a censored out curse on it....which she pulled out of hammerspace::
Tasuki: Oh wow, this is a great freakin' honor! Thanks everybody!
Sephiroth: No Tasuki, thank *you!*

> ~~~*~~~

Tasuki: HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH!
Aisha: What are *you* so happy about Tasuki, the fic is still going...and I'm betting there is still more of the song left.
Tasuki: D'OH! D'OH!
Aisha: You forget the bird part...
Ukyo:  ::Shakes head sadly:: Oh c'mon Aisha, you can do better than the `dodo bird' bit!
Aisha:  ::Blinks:: What bit?Ukyo: There isn't one...
Aisha: Then why did you say there was?
Ukyo: THAT'S NOT THE POINT! The point is that you can do *better!*
Aisha: Oh yeah, I suppose I could, couldn't I?

> Bulma touched his

Sephiroth: Wait a minute, kids may be watching here! This is EXPLICIT! KIDS CAN'T READ IT!
Ukyo: Ummm, it didn't even say what she touched yet....and it's 
probably not what you're thinking it is either ya baka!

> face,

Sephiroth: SEE? Kids can't read this stuff! I mean, what if this was Afghanistan? Woman can't go around touching faces there! Hell, they can't even take off their veils!
Ukyo: Uhhh, okay Seph, you made your point...
Sephiroth: Y'know, Afghani porno magazines are of women's faces...
Ukyo: All right Seph, don't make me get out the gear!
Sephiroth: All right, all right!

> allowing her fingers to trail

Tasuki: ...off into the moonlight with their donkey-riding sidekick.

> over his smooth

Aisha: Song cue! ::Starts singing:: Just like the ocean, under the moon, it's the same as the emotion that I get when I'm with you. Something something something something. Because you're so smooth.
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops:: Does everybody on this satellite have to sing songs in which they only know half the lyrics too?
::The voice of MV booms::
Voice of MV: Yep, I just passed a law that says that!
Ukyo: YOU CAN'T PASS LAWS!
Voice of MV: Errr...oh yeah! Well, ummmm....well then errrr...what I say is law! Yeah! That's it! I am a dictamatator!
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops again (wow, deju vu!):: You mean dictator...
Voice of MV: No, I'm a dictamatator!
Ukyo: Riiiight, whatever.
Voice of MV: I'm off to go dictamate some more then! Whee! ::Starts singing:: I'm off to control the people, the wonderful people of Kentucky!
::The voice of MV goes away once again::

> warm skin, so velvety soft,

Ukyo: The touch, the feel...of Vegeta's skin, the fabric of his life! 
Tasuki:  ::Starts singing:: It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right, I hope you had the fabric of your life.
Ukyo: You see Aisha, that's the kind of joke you *should* be making.
Aisha: Uhhh...riiiight.

> far softer than it appeared to be.

Aisha: ...because Vegeta's skin was the same kind that a baby had on their bottom.

> Despite the harshness of his features and his expression, she
couldn't help but study him wistfully.

Sephiroth: Oh my KAMI! Mia just got a whole sentence past us and we didn't riff it at *all!* What is the world coming too? What's next, hot dog companies selling ten hot dogs in a pack and hot dog roll companies selling eight hot dog roles in a pack?
Tasuki: They all ready do that Seph...
Sephiroth: NOOOOOOO! ::Sobs::
Tasuki:  ::Sweatdrops:: Geez dude, it's only hot dogs and a riffless sentence. Hey, is riffless even a real word?
Sephiroth:  ::Stops sobbing:: I dunno, let me check! ::Pulls out his misspelled word dictionary (yes, the same one from last MST) and looks for `riffless':: Well, it isn't in here but...I bet it's in the...MADE UP WORD DICTIONARY! ::Sounds trumpets and gets said dictionary out, and finds said word:: There ya go, it's a made up word!
Tasuki:  ::Waves a little white flag with the Kanji for `Hooray!' on it::

> Even when they were in bed

Aisha: Which equates to the sewer drain *or* the sidewalk if they're *REALLY* lucky.

> alone like this, his face wouldn't soften

Aisha: Maybe she should dump some face softener in Vegeta's food...

> in the slightest. He wouldn't soften in the slightest.

Sephiroth: That's because Vegeta always had a hard on! ::Blinks:: Uh-oh! ::Pulls out a football helmet with a sword logo on it from nowhere and places it on his head::
Ukyo: Guess what this means Seph?
Sephiroth: Errr, what?
Ukyo:  ::Doesn't bother answering and smacks Seph over the head with her spatula thingy::
Sephiroth: Haha, that didn't hurt! Nyah nyah!
Ukyo:  ::Grabs the helmet off of Seph's head and repeats the smacking thing::
Sephiroth: That did though. @_@

> He was always so

Aisha:  ::Coughs:: Hey, there's no need for name calling around here!

> cold,

Aisha: Well, he should try using a little thing called a heater then.

> so hard,

Sephiroth: Vegeta snuck a copy of `Victoria's Secret' into bed, that's why he's so hard!Ukyo: Hmmm, nah...that's not hit worthy!
Sephiroth: Sweet!

> so uncaring;

Aisha:  ::Imitating Bulma:: Hey Vegeta, we just won a million dollars!
Tasuki:  ::Imitating Vegeta:: I don't care!Sephiroth:  ::Imitating
Goku:: Hey Vegeta, you are so much stronger than me! I suck so much!
Tasuki: I don't care!
Ukyo:  ::Imitating Freezer:: Hey Vegeta, sorry for killing most of your race off and stuff! How can I ever make it up to you? Oh, I know! Kill me if you want Vegeta-sama!
Tasuki: I don't care! ::Back to normal:: All right, this horrible joke was executed by the Majin Science Theater 6000 members, also known as `MST6K' by that one fan (no, not really). This joke is property of the Board of Bad Jokes and stuff. Blah blah blah.

> she never knew what to expect from him.

Sephiroth: It was usually a mixture of the three Vegeta modes:  kill, kill more, and O.J. Simpson.

> He hadn't moved

Sephiroth: Hehehe, Vegeta has petrified wood.
Ukyo:  ::Cracks Seph over the head with the COMPLETELY REMODELED spatula thingy of DEVASTATION (tm) V 4.0::
Sephiroth: Owie. My head feels funny mommy. @_@

> to save

Aisha: You do that on a Memory Card (For Playstation 2) (8 MB). ::Blinks:: Gotta keep the whole name or Sony might complain...

> her when her plane

Tasuki: ...her Airplane!
Ukyo: Ummm, was that a joke or something?
Tasuki: Well ummmm not really, it's just a movie title...
Ukyo: Oh, okay. Hey Tasuki!
Tasuki: Ummm, yeah?
Ukyo: You forgot something!
Tasuki: What's that?
Ukyo: You have to be, and I stress this, *FUNNY!*
Tasuki:  ::Mutters some inaudible obscenity or some such thing::

> was destroyed,

Sephiroth: Note to self, stop destroying planes.

> but she hadn't really expected him to, despite what she'd said to
Yajirobe.

Aisha:  ::Imitating the author:: ...more of that later, but for now let's just finish this story!

> He'd told her before that she was nothing to him,

Tasuki:  ::Imitating Vegeta:: You are nothing to me, woman!
Aisha:  ::Sarcastically:: Thanks for clearing that sentence up for us Tasuki.
Tasuki:  ::Back to normal:: No problem!

> and after she'd spent months

Ukyo: She should have invested those months!

> fruitlessly

Ukyo:  ::Blinks:: Poor Bulma, she had to go months without *any* fruit! How can a woman live without....fruit?!?!?!?!
Aisha:  ::Blinks:: Did somebody say something about Fruits Basket?
Ukyo: No, Aisha, I'm not talking about *anime* here! I'm talking about a woman who has....NO FRUIT!!
Aisha: Errrr okay. Soooooo, what's the big deal again?
Ukyo: She doesn't have fruit Aisha, she doesn't have fruit!
Aisha: Ummm oh. What's your point?
Ukyo: She's fruitless!
Aisha: But Vegeta is there and he's a fruit...
Ukyo: Ummmm, I don't think so.
Aisha: Yeah, you're right....he isn't, but that's not the point! She could just go to the grocery store!
Ukyo: Oh yeah, that's right! Whew! Boy, am I *ever* so relieved.

> trying to badger him

Sephiroth: What about snaking him, or rabbiting him, or hamstering him, or vulturing him, or....
Aisha: We *got* the *point!*
Sephiroth: Okay!

> into admitting that he

Tasuki: ...paid too much for his long distance plan.
Ukyo: ...really didn't know Tiger Woods like he always said he had.
Sephiroth: ...wasn't a *real* boy yet.
Aisha: ...promised not to try to errr....*#@% with her mind.
Tasuki:  ::Blinks:: Oh look, we're gonna have to wash Aisha's month out with soap now!
Aisha: Not-uh, it was part of the song I was singing!
Tasuki: You weren't singing...
Ukyo: Let's just let it go this time, it was part of the joke.
Tasuki: Oh fine!
Aisha: Phew! Haha Dove, I avoided your soapiness once again!
Tasuki: That was the first time you avoided it...
Aisha: Errr, oh yeah...riiiight. Geez, don't try to cheapen my joke.
Tasuki:  ::Grunts:: Stop sneaking in parts of your theme song in!
Ukyo: Yeah really Aisha, you should ashamed! Don't make me wild like you!
Tasuki: That means *you* too Ukyo!
Ukyo: Oh, right.
Aisha: Geez, *okay!* Sorrrrrry for being series conscious!
Tasuki: As you should be! Now go Suzaku, soar high! Miracle la!
Aisha:  ::Veins pop out of her head:: It's okay for *YOU* to sneak in parts of *YOUR* theme song, though?
Tasuki: Of course!
Aisha:  ::Whacks Tasuki over the head::
Sephiroth:  ::Pouts:: I don't have a theme song.
Aisha: SHUT UP SEPH!
Sephiroth: Errr...was it something I said?
Ukyo: Yep...
Sephiroth: Oh...

> cared about her, into trying to convince him to stay

Ukyo: ...in the `Really Neat-o Fashion Club' that she started.

> with her, she'd given up.

Aisha: What a quitter! All she had to do was try to do it one more time and Vegeta would have caved in!
Sephiroth: No, he wouldn't have...
Aisha: Well ummmm, Bulma doesn't know that.
Sephiroth: No kidding, she gave up!
Aisha: Errr, exactly!

> He'd insisted - rather violently on occasion

Tasuki:  ::Imitating the author:: ...it depended on if he liked his horoscope that day or not.

> - that she meant nothing to him, less than nothing,

Ukyo: How can something be less than nothing? Nothing is the absence of everything, isn't it? So how can someone or something be less than the absence of everything?
Aisha: Easy, take nothing to the second power!
Ukyo: But you have *nothing* to *take* to the second power!
Aisha: Who cares? What the hell! I'm not freakin' AskJeeves.com or something, I don't *know* this stupid stuff!
Ukyo: Oh right. ::Blinks:: I'll have to check AskJeeves.com the next time I can.
Sephiroth: You guys done with that AskJeeves.com commercial yet?
Ukyo: Yep, I'm all done!
Aisha: Well, whatever, I'm done or whatever too.

> that she'd been no more than a convenience.

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Apu from the Simpsons:: Thank you, please come again!

> He'd shown her

Sephiroth: ...the new puppy that he had bought her over a nice, romantic candlelight dinner with a flower and a candle and sappy music and....DEATH!!!!!
Ukyo: Ummmm, how is death....nevermind...
Sephiroth: EVERYONE MUST DIE! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops:: Somebody hit him, or something!
Tasuki:  ::Double blinks:: Why don't *you* just do it, since you're the one that almost always does anyway?
Sephiroth:  ::Snickers:: She can't hit me anymore! It's a clause in a law made by the newly formed Sephiroth Protection Agency!
Ukyo:  ::Blinks:: You just made that up...
Sephiroth: No, I didn't!
Ukyo: Fine! Then who leads this agency?
Sephiroth: I do!
Ukyo: You're the only member, aren't you?
Sephiroth: Errr...that Elian
Gonzalez kid is a member....
Ukyo: Yeah, sure!
Aisha: Ummm...can we go on now?
Ukyo: Yeah we can, as soon as Seph admits he made this SPA thing up!
Sephiroth: Fine! I made the dumb thing up!
Ukyo: Okay then, *now* we can continue!

> no softness,

Tasuki: Unlike Brawny!

> no mercy,

Tasuki: Hmmmm, Vegeta would make a good MSTer with *those* traits!
Aisha: I think Majin already had him MST, plus he made a cameo here...
Tasuki: Yeah, whatever. I wish that Vegeta would just take *my* place or something.
Aisha: Right, who cares?
Tasuki: Well....I do!
Aisha: Besides you?
Tasuki: Ummmm my cast mates!
Aisha: Yeah, probably. ::Shrugs::

> none of the tenderness that she'd seen that one night.

Sephiroth: You know, *that* one night! ::Sarcastically:: Yep, everybody knows what you're talking about all right!

> She had finally come to believe

Ukyo: ...Ripley's Believe it or Not!

> that he was telling her the truth, that he didn't care at all.

Ukyo: You know who doesn't care at all?
Aisha: Who Ukyo?
Ukyo: We don't!
Aisha: Damn straight!

> So she hadn't been surprised that he wouldn't try to save her,

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating the author:: ...she was a little surprised when he tried to load her!

> that he didn't care if she was killed.

Tasuki: At this point, we don't care either. If Bulma dies, that would mean this fic would end! That would mean I would be happy! That would mean that I'll be back home! That would mean....stuff...and stuff.

> Her mouth twisted into a bitter,

Sephiroth:  ::Pretends he is looking in the refrigerator:: Uh-oh you guys, this Bulma has gone bitter! Don't you see the expiration date? It's 1/4/56! Who the heck put this in here?
Aisha:  ::Raises hand:: I did! You never know when you might need some bitter Bulma...
Sephiroth: Ummmm, riiiight.

> self-deprecating smile.

Ukyo:  ::Blinks:: How can a smile deprecate you? What, is someone gonna say that you smile *too* much or something?

> When he'd returned

Ukyo: ...Vegeta phoned back home again, only forgetting that there was no back home to phone home to.

> to Earth, he hadn't even wanted to

Tasuki: ...play bingo *or* any board games with her.

> see her, even though he'd been

Sephiroth: ...trick-or-treating for *WAY* too long. It was time to take off that foam wig!
Aisha: Uhhh Seph, Vegeta doesn't *wear* a wig. That's his *normal* hair...
Sephiroth: Oh, okay. ::Blinks:: I'm sorry, I forgot this MST was supposed to be funny.
Aisha: What's that supposed to mean?
Sephiroth: Nothing, I just forgot that.
Aisha: Ummmm, whatever. ::Glares at Seph:: I'm not stupid, y'know!
Sephiroth: I know, genius!
Aisha:  ::Grunts::

> gone for so long. He'd gone

Aisha:  ::Singing:: Maybe in another life, I can find you there. Gone away before your time, I can't deal it's so unfair. And it feels, yeah it feels like heaven's so far away. And it seems, yeah it seems like the world has grown cold now that you've gone away.
Tasuki: Oh, *now* I see the whole point of why you sung! For a second there Aisha, I thought you'd gone darn tootin' loco!
Aisha:  ::Not singing anymore:: Ummmm, not today thanks..

> straight

Ukyo: And thus he ruined the hopes of that gay guy who had a crush on him, poor Frankie.

> to fight the androids.

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Vegeta singing:: We're off to fight the androids, the pitiful androids of Oz!
Tasuki: That one is taken Seph, try again...
Sephiroth:  ::Grunts:: We're off to fight the androids, the pitiful androids of Id!
Tasuki: No, Wizard of Id is taken by that one comic strip...
Sephiroth:  ::Curses under his breath:: We're off to fight the androids, the pitiful androids of DBZ!
Tasuki: That one works!
Sephiroth:  ::Back to normal:: Good!

> She'd somehow known that he would, which is why she'd

Ukyo: ...built herself a *big* laser to shot at planets and stuff at. This way, she'd can prevent more aliens like Vegeta from coming on Earth and ultimately falling in love with her.

> followed her

Aisha: ...nose!
Tasuki: Y'know, I can see a resemblance between Bulma and Toucan Sam, I really can.
Aisha: Ummmm, okay?
Tasuki: Yeah! Bulma has blue hair and Toucan Sam is a toucan!
Aisha: What's your point?
Tasuki: No point, just that *that's* the resemblance between them!
Aisha: That doesn't even make sense...
Tasuki: Errr...oh yeah.

> friends there as well. She hadn't told them

Sephiroth: ...to smile, because they were on Candid Camera!

> why she'd gone;

Sephiroth: ...she wanted to return the school's bathroom pass and it was on the way there.

> she'd hoped that she would see Vegeta there. Like some hopelessly 
smitten groupie,

Ukyo: They're not hopelessly smitten! They are just uhhh....following the rock stars around a lot, that's all!

> she'd gone hoping to catch a

Tasuki: ...very *large* fish for dinner next week. It was a shame Goku was like dead, well, MIA and all `cause she could have gotten *him* to do it for her, but nooooo, he had to go almost die and stuff.

> glimpse of him.

Aisha: Take a picture, they last longer!
Ukyo: Awwww, it's a Kodak moment!
Aisha: How did you get that out of what I said?
Ukyo: You were talking about pictures, so....
Aisha: Okay, fine.

> He hadn't been there,

Sephiroth:  ::Shakes head sadly:: I see Vegeta is as tardy as always. Ex-villians are *always* early or on time...to get to their purpose faster.
Ukyo: Remember kids, budgeting your time is *good*, being an evil overlord or villain or whatever is very *BAD!*
Sephiroth: Hey, I'm not bad...oh wait, yeah I am.

> and although she'd said nothing to the others when they'd asked
where he was, she hadn't wanted to

Tasuki: ...tell them that Vegeta was in her trunk in little, tiny pieces.

> admit that

Tasuki: ...she liked Jell-o and liked to build Lego houses in her free time.
Sephiroth: ...she wanted to go around the world in a hot air balloon in only *eighty-nine* days.
Ukyo: ...she would kill someone for a ticket to see the Beastie Boys.
Aisha: ...she liked big butts and she could not lie, those other brothers couldn't deny...

> was why she was there. Let them think

Sephiroth: I don't think they should start thinking now, it may be bad for them if they started thinking *now.*

> it was her foolish bravery again;

Sephiroth: I like foolish bravery, it lets me kill off innocents who think they could stand up against me! ::Smirks::
Ukyo: Can you be any *less* annoying Seph?
Sephiroth: How am I...?
Ukyo: You're just *annoying*, that's how damn it!
Sephiroth: But that doesn't even make sense!
Ukyo: Too bad!!!!!!

> she was the

Aisha: ...Last of the Mohicans.
Tasuki: ...Terminator, and she'll be back!

> only one that knew

Aisha: ...how to count to two hundred out of *this* group.

> that for a glimpse of Vegeta, she was willing to risk her life.

Sephiroth: That's a pretty....ummmm, *uneven* trade there.
Aisha: I think that qualifies as understatement of the day.
Sephiroth: No, I think it's *more* than that.
Aisha: Yeah, you're right. It definitely is at *least* the understatement of the century, *at least.*
Sephiroth: Yeah, that sounds about right.

> As she gazed at him,

Ukyo: ...he turned to stone.

> she saw his features

Tasuki: Which included 5: 1 Letterbox Subtitles, Digital Sound, Movie Previews, Angle Adjustment, Five Language Tracks, and the ability to integrate deleted scenes into the movie.
Ukyo:  ::Blinks:: Stop reading off of that DVD, Tasuki...
Tasuki: Oh, all right. ::Puts down the unexplained DVD he got from somewhere::

> tense up,

Aisha: As opposed to tensing down, left, or right.

> and she watched him curiously.

Sephiroth: ...then she pulled out a video camera so she could watch him curiously *later* too.

> It took her a few minutes

Sephiroth: ...to get a Pop-Tart out of it's wrapper.
Ukyo: ...to solve the equation X+6=12 mentally.
Tasuki: ...to enter the data she just collected into her Vegeta's behavior spreadsheet.
Aisha: ...to figure out who likes short shorts.

> to recognize

Aisha:  ::Imitating a thug guy person man dude:: You better re-cog-nize now dawg! Word! You don't know nuthin', you playa haters yo! WEST SIIIIIIDE!!!!

> his expression,

Ukyo: ...as one of loathing and hatred and malice and vindictiveness and ummm...more loathing and...stuff.
Sephiroth: Oh, that was a *good* riff.
Ukyo: Nobody asked you for your opinion, did they?
Sephiroth: No, but I'm allowed to give it!
Ukyo: Not today!
Sephiroth: D'oh! You'll be hearing from my lawyers!
Ukyo: You don't have *any* lawyers Seph...
Sephiroth: Hey, be quiet! Stop being so mean to *me!*
Tasuki: That's not Yuffie in disguise again, is it?
Ukyo: No, Majin only lets a character do one cameo in these fics...I guess.
Tasuki: Oh, so you're really Seph, huh Seph?
Sephiroth: No, I'm freaking Kuja you idiot! OF COURSE I'M SEPHIROTH!
Tasuki: Okay then! YOU DON'T GOTTA YELL, BY THE WAY!
Sephiroth: SHUT UP YOUR FACE!
Tasuki: NO, YOU SHUT UP YOUR FACE!
Ukyo: Ummm guys? That's not gonna go anywhere, so like, just knock it off okay?
Tasuki: Fine...
Sephiroth: Fine...

> and when she finally did, she blinked in surprise.

Aisha: That right there is *all* of the action in this *ENTIRE* fic.

> He was angry at himself? Why?

Ukyo:  ::Imitating the author:: The MSTers don't care? Why?
Aisha: Because we can care less about these characters here. Now, if they were fics about one of *us*, we still probably wouldn't care because those would be lame fanfic versions of us. Sorta like this lame fanfic version of myself. If Majin just stayed away from Outlaw Star, I would be one of the *many* anime characters Majin never heard of and he'd just leave me alone!
::The voice of Majin (naturally) booms::
Voice of MV: Hey now!!! You can mock my fics, my writing abilities, and all that over stuff all you want! However, no one mocks my knowledge of anime....EVER!
Aisha: Uhhh, okay...why?
Voice of MV: I dunno, it's just rare. I like know stuff and stuff about anime and stuff. I mean....I'm torturing you here and you know certain things and stuff. That's one of the things that you don't know that you know that I will punish you harshly for.
Aisha: What the hell are you talking about?
Voice of MV: You know!
Aisha: Ummm no, I don't.
Voice of MV: Damn it! I thought you did! Now who am I gonna get to figure out what I just said?Aisha:  ::Sweatdrops:: Riiiiight.
Voice of MV: Anyway, I'll send you back to your torturous torture now...
Aisha: We never left our `torturous torture'...
Voice of MV: I knew that! Good bye!
::The voice of MV fades::Aisha:  ::Grumbles:: Moron.
Tasuki: The following dialogue has been brought to you by Dialogue Suppliers Incorporated. Dialogue Suppliers Incorporated, they supply dialogue!

> But she knew,
Sephiroth: ...that school was out for summer! School was out forever! School was ancient history! ::Blinks:: That really didn't make sense...but oh well.

> although he would never admit it, that he

Sephiroth: ...liked watching the Jenny Jones show all the time.
Aisha: ...was a very pretty lady, a very pretty lady. (Note: Home Movies is a good show, thank you very much. ^_^)
Tasuki: ...loved all of Britney Spears songs and wanted to go to one of her concerts *SO* bad!
Ukyo: ...got a paper crown from Burger King and pretended he was the Saiyajin King for a day.
Aisha: Hey, isn't King for a Day a song by Green Day?Ukyo: Why yes, yes it is.
Aisha: That's what I thought. That commentary was pretty pointless, wasn't it?
Ukyo: What do you know? We can be football announcers with commentary *this* meaningless!
Aisha: Gooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal!
Ukyo: No, I said *football* announcers, not soccer..
Aisha: Ohhhh.

> was his own worst critic.

Ukyo: I give that sentence two thumbs down!
Sephiroth: Well personally, I give it two ring fingers up!
Tasuki: Yeah, and I give it two middle fingers up!
Ukyo: Why am I *not* surprised?
Tasuki: I dunno, because you're not easily surprisable?
Ukyo: Yeah, I guess. By the way Tasuki, surprisable isn't even a *real* word.
Tasuki: Well, it is *NOW!*
Ukyo: Whatever.

> No one else cared

Aisha: Ain't that the truth?
Sephiroth: The only part of this fic that I care about is the *ending!*

> if he was stronger

Aisha: ...he wouldn't be as weak as he was now because he would be stronger!

> than they were or not, no one cared whether or not he could defeat
an enemy

Ukyo: These guys are defending the Earth and they don't even care if they can defeat the enemy? What the hell is wrong with these guys?
Sephiroth: Oooooo, easy picking!
Ukyo: Ummm Seph, these guys are *really* really strong.
Sephiroth: D'oh! I'm not *that* strong! I'm only *really* strong! Damn you DBZ characters! Damn you all!
Ukyo: Riiiight.

> all by himself.

Aisha:  ::Singing (sorta):: Vegeta was alone, he was all by himself, all by himself. Did I fail to mention, that he was all by himself?
All by himself! All by himself!

> Didn't he understand,

Aisha: Probably not....considering who we're talking about here.

> that wasn't how it worked? It wasn't necessary for him to have to
be that strong. None of them ever did it by themselves,

Tasuki: By `it' I think she means the Word Jumble...
Aisha: No, I think Mia meant the Crossword Puzzle, no one *ever* knows that stuff!
Tasuki: Naw, the Word Jumble is *by far* the hardest thing there is in the paper!
Aisha: Yeah right! Word Jumble is for *wimps!* Crossword Puzzles are for *REAL* men!
Sephiroth: Ummm Aisha, you aren't a man...
Aisha: Shut up!
Sephiroth: And Tasuki....you *can't* read!
Tasuki: WHAT? HEY, SHUT THE #$@% UP SEPH! I CAN SO #&@^*^*^@ READ!!!
Sephiroth: Errr, oh sorry then.
Tasuki: BAKA!

> not even Goku.

Ukyo: ...who was dead and stuff, mind you, so he really couldn't fight...

> They needed everyone, it took everyone, to win

Tasuki: ...Ben Stein's money.

> their battles. Didn't Vegeta understand

Tasuki: ...that Trix are for kids?

> yet, that was how it worked?

Sephiroth: It worked like an old `67 Cadillac that was in *bad* shape.

> Before Bulma had retired

Aisha: Bulma is retiring? Well, she better make sure she paid all of her 401(K) money!
Sephiroth: Yeah, there's nothing sadder in the world than an old person who has to work at McDonalds to survive. Well, except for an old guy who has to strip for a living...
Ukyo: Ewwww, that's disturbing *and* disgusting.
Sephiroth: I know...........

> for the night, Yamcha had stopped by

Ukyo: Ahhhh Yamcha, the character that's only use is a plot device.
Tasuki: Great, now some Yamcha super fan girl is gonna come up here like that Trunks super fan girl did...
Ukyo: Ummmm, don't say it! Majin will make it happen now!
Tasuki: Yeah I know....
::Nothing happens::
Ukyo: Hmph, I guess Majin forgot to do it.
Tasuki: Or Yamcha has no super fans to send up here...
Ukyo: I think it may be a combination of both, this time.
::The voice of MV booms::
Voice of MV: What? Huh? Did someone call me?
Ukyo: Ummm, no.
Voice of MV: Oh good, because I was sleeping. Thanks for not escaping and stuff, because if you did escape I wouldn't have been able to stop you at all. Hey, why didn't you escape anyway?
Tasuki:  ::Sweatdrops:: We were talking about Yamcha...
Voice of MV: Oh ummm....riiiight. He has *lots* of fans y'know...well errrr...he has a moderate fan base I guess.
Tasuki: Ummmm oh, what about super fans?
Voice of MV: Hmmmm, I dunno. There might be a few. I'm not gonna send `em up though `cause they are all a bunch of weirdoes!
Tasuki: Yeah, okay.
Voice of MV: Yeah, so see ya!
::The voice of Majin fades away (yet again)::
Ukyo: Isn't Majin a *huge* weirdo compared to those super fans?
Tasuki: Definitely!
Ukyo: Okay, just thought I'd ask.

> and told her everything that had happened.

Sephiroth: ...on `Days of our Afterlives' and `As the Dragonball Turns' yesterday.

> He had told her how

Tasuki: Y'know, `how' means `hello' in Indian talk.
Aisha: They prefer to be called Native Americans, Tasuki...
Tasuki: Whatever! Who cares?
Aisha: They do! I mean, white man have literally driven them out of their land and stuff! You can at least respect them by calling them Native Americans.
Tasuki: Aisha, if you're an alien then how do you know all of this 
stuff about Earth?
Aisha: Ummm, magic?
Tasuki: Whatever. By the way, white man does respect them!
Aisha: No, they don't!
Tasuki: Yeah they do! I mean, they have teams like the Washington Redskins, the Kansas City Chiefs, and the Cleveland Indians!
Aisha: That's disrespecting them!
Tasuki: Oh yeah. Well uhhh...I'm Chinese so I don't care!
Aisha:  ::Sweatdrops::

> the Z warriors

Sephiroth: If this was Dragonball, they'd just be called the warriors...
Ukyo:  ::Sarcastically:: Thanks for pointing that out Seph...
Sephiroth: No problem!

> had come forward during the fight,

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating a school kid who sees a fight:: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

> fully expecting

Tasuki:  ::Imitating Yamcha:: Quick Z Senshi, expect the unexpected!
Aisha:  ::Imitating one of the other Z Senshi:: Shut up Yamcha!
Tasuki: Stop picking on me!
Aisha: No, baka!
Tasuki: Waaaaah!

> not to

Sephiroth: ...expect anything.

> survive

Aisha: ...the awful taste of grandma's cheesecake of DEATH (tm).

> the encounter. They had continued to blast away

Ukyo: These guys would make good demolition people. They blow up stuff a lot.
Sephiroth: No, they just blow a lot...
Ukyo: Hmmm, perhaps they do.
Sephiroth:  ::Blinks:: Wha? No hit? Eerie.
Ukyo: Oh yeah, I almost forgot! ::Cracks Seph over the head with the spatula thingy once again::
Sephiroth:  ::Sweatdrops:: Me and my big mouth. @_@

> at Cell,

Aisha: Cell must have really been a virus and the Z Senshi must have been....WHITE BLOOD CELLS! DUN DUN DUN!
Tasuki: Oh stop that!
Aisha: All right.

> trying to weaken his defenses, even as he returned their fire,

Tasuki: I like fire!
Ukyo: Go figure.

> throwing them off to the side with a flick of his ki.

Sephiroth:  ::Checks his watch...which he doesn't have in the first place:: Wow, I'm still not caring, go figure.

> While Krillin protected Trunks and 18,

Aisha: Krillin gets to protect the wounded one and the android that Cell can absorb, what a wonderful job!
Ukyo: Someday he'll be able to protect the elderly and the mentally insane!
Aisha: Go figure!

> the rest of them - Tenshinhan, Piccolo, Yamcha -

Tasuki: So....a three eyed thing, an instrument, and a guy who has a name that sounds like a motorcycle protected everyone else. Go figure.

> had willingly accepted injury

Tasuki:  ::Imitating Yamcha:: Yes Cell, I am willingly accepting injury right now! Please attack, maim, and kill me Cell! Do it please!
Sephiroth: Go figure!
Tasuki:  ::Back to normal:: Why the hell do we keep saying `Go figure!' huh? Damn it, it's freakin' annoying!
Ukyo: I think there is some Catch 22 sickness or something around here.
Sephiroth: Go figure!
Ukyo: Stop that!
Sephiroth: Why?
Ukyo: Because I said so?
Sephiroth: Go figure!
Ukyo: Stop doing that!
Sephiroth: Why?
Ukyo: Because I.... ::Grunts:: ....I quit now! ::Cracks Seph over the head with her spatula::
Sephiroth: Ow! @_@Tasuki: Go figure!
Ukyo: Don't you start too! ::Glares at Tasuki::
Tasuki: Okay, okay, geez! >_>

> from Cell's

Aisha: ...viscous antibody and pathogen warriors!

> attacks, hoping that

Aisha: ...Cell wouldn't sting them with his tail. I'm sure a Cell sting hurts *a lot* more than a bee sting!
Ukyo: Yeah, and if you're an artificial human...you kinda get sucked up.
Aisha: Yep! That has *got* to hurt!

> their own attacks would distract the monster

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating the author:: ...the Cookie Monster, that is, from going on his insane `cookie-less' rampage.

> long enough for Gohan to

Tasuki: ...fetch the stick Krillin threw.
Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Krillin:: Go get it Gohan! Go get it boy!

> be able to muster

Aisha: Pardon me, do you have any Gray....
Sephiroth: No Aisha, this is not a mustard commercial! The fic said muster, not *mustard!*
Aisha: But...
Sephiroth: NO!
Aisha: Fine! Sheesh! I hate you all!
Sephiroth: Uhhhh, okay...

> enough strength to kill him.

Ukyo: Hurting him for a really long, long time was out of the question! Gohan just *had* to kill Cell, or else he wouldn't be dead and stuff...

> Gohan hadn't done it by himself;

Sephiroth: Note to self, next time I plan on trying to destroy the world or something...make sure I kill the main character's family *and* friends.
Ukyo: That will just make the main character really mad and ultimately destroy the evil villain, perhaps at the cost of their own life as well.
Sephiroth: How do you know that?
Ukyo: Simple, good *always* wins over evil. Sometimes it's prolonged and may not seem like the `good' side won, but they do.
Sephiroth:  ::Grumbles:: Stupid stacked odds.

> if the others hadn't been willing to die for him, he'd never have won.†

Tasuki: ...at Ski-Ball.
Aisha: Hey! There's another one of those footnote things! Wow! I hope it explains how Gohan wouldn't have been able to win at Ski-Ball without the help of his friends!
Tasuki: Oh, that's easy Aisha, Gohan forgot how to roll the balls and eventually he accidentally unleashed Cell from his spherical Ski-Ball prison!
Aisha: What the hell are you talking about?
Tasuki: I have no idea...
Aisha:  ::Sweatdrops:: I figured that you'd say that.
Tasuki: What's that supposed to mean?
Aisha: Nothing, nothing.
Tasuki: Okay then...good!

> Yamcha had also told her that

Sephiroth: ...he was a genie in a bottle baby. ::Hisses:: Evil music!
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops:: ...he was a loser baby, so why didn't she kill him?
Aisha: ...it's something unpredictable, but in the end is right, he hopes that she had the time of her life.
Tasuki: ...he was welcome to the jungle.

> it wasn't even their efforts

Ukyo:  ::Imitating Bulma:: Well, there goes your chance at getting an `A' for effort, mister!

> that had finally broken Cell down;

Sephiroth: Hmmmmm, I wonder if Triple A covers that?

> Yamcha had spoken

Sephiroth: Speak my brother, speak my brother! Hallelujah!

> almost in awe

Ukyo: Awwww....
Tasuki: Hey! C'mon now! No corny jokes now!Ukyo: Awwww....
Tasuki: No! Stop it now!
Ukyo: Okay, okay!

> of how Vegeta had made a

Aisha: ...clay bust of himself.

> desperate attack,

Aisha: You know what they say? Desperate times call for desperate Vegetas.
Ukyo: There's more than one Vegeta?
Aisha: You never know!!!!
Ukyo: Yeah I do! There is only *one* Vegeta!
Aisha: What about all the fanfic authors who have Vegeta in their names....like Majin?
Ukyo: Well, I guess that counts...in a completely not counting kind of way.

> apparently grieving over

Sephiroth: ...the death of that dog from Fraiser.

> Trunks' death.

Sephiroth: Death is a deafening spell that can't be used when you have the silence status placed upon you...
Ukyo: Seph....
Sephiroth: Yeah Ukyo?Ukyo: ....shut up!
Sephiroth: All right!

> In an attack

Tasuki:::  Imitating the author:: Just a plain ol' attack, nothing fancy.

> of pure rage and fury he'd attacked

Tasuki: ...Bulma's evil screen saver of Cell.

> Cell, surprising and hurting him,

Aisha: This takes the whole concept of a surprise party to an *entirely* different level. Well, without the party element of it...anyway.

> and finally giving Gohan the

Ukyo: ...lost city of Atlantis in a bottle!
Tasuki: ...last copy of his home game.
Sephiroth: ...new puzzle sensation that will soon sweep the world!
Aisha: ...book on how to destroy Cell for dummies.

> chance to

Aisha: ...get out of jail free.

> strike. It had surprised all of them, Vegeta's sudden show of

Ukyo: ...caviar dreams and champagne wishes.
Sephiroth: Vegeta should *really* stop making shows like that.
Ukyo: Yeah, who wants to watch `Homes of the Super Saiyajin and the Not-So Famous' anyway?
Sephiroth: Well...he probably does...
Ukyo: True...

> emotion,

Aisha: You mean, Vegeta has emotion? I thought he was a heartless bastard who had *no* emotion at all. Wow, this makes *everything* different! This must mean that you guys have emotion *too!*
Tasuki: Hey! What's that supposed to mean?
Sephiroth: Yeah!
Ukyo: Yeah!
Aisha: Errr...I said that last part out loud, didn't I?Tasuki:  ::Nods::
Aisha: Oops! ::Sweatdrops:: I didn't mean that!
Ukyo: Then why'd you say it?Aisha: Because ummm.....THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT!
Sephiroth: Errrr...okay then! If that's the way you want this thing to go down then I'm fine with it.
Aisha: Uhhh, okay.

> and although Bulma sensed that Vegeta was

Tasuki: ...unhappy with his collection of human hair.

> ashamed at that outburst,

Aisha:  ::Randomly makes outbursts:: PERKINS!!!!! TOYOTA!!!!! SKITTLES!!!!! CONGRESS!!!!! THE RUNNING MAN!!!! THAT SONG BY THAT ONE BAND!!!!! CHILDREN OF THE CORN!!!!! POPEYE THE SAILOR AND POPEYE'S CHICKEN!!!!!
Tasuki:  ::Blinks:: Can you stop with the outbursts Aisha?
Aisha: OKAY!!!!
Tasuki: Ugh....

> she knew that all it had done was increase the respect

Ukyo:  ::Starts singing:: R-e-s-p-e-c-t, find out what it means to me! R-e-s-p-e-c-t, find out what it means to me!
Sephiroth: Oh boy! Hey, Ukyo, can you stop singing?!
Ukyo:  ::Stops singing:: Okay, why?
Sephiroth: Because I don't like that song...
Ukyo:  ::Grunts:: I get no respect! ::Rim shot::
Sephiroth: Okay Rodney...
Ukyo: Yep!

> that the others felt for him.

Aisha: Now they had this much ::Extends arms slightly:: respect for him!

> It had shown all of them

Aisha: ...the sight of Vegeta fighting out of passion and that kinda junk...

> what Bulma had always hoped; that

Sephiroth: ...K-Mart would go out of business, and it is going out of business too!
Ukyo: ...the London Bridges start falling down, falling down, falling down, falling down...
Tasuki: ...the cast of Full House would fall off a cliff, one by one by one.
Aisha: ...any movie with Leonardo Di'Caprio in it be banned forever.

> Vegeta was

Tasuki:  ::Singing to the tune of the `Scooby Doo' theme:: ...ready and he was willing. If we can count on you Vegeta, I know we'll destroy that biological android!

> able to care,

Ukyo: ....about spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam!
Sephiroth: What a wonderful treat!

Note: I had to slip a Monty Python joke in here again! It's the law! ^_^

> that he wasn't just the cold, heartless monster

Sephiroth:  ::Starts humming the boss music from FF4::
Aisha: No Seph, he *wasn't* a cold, heartless monster!
Sephiroth: Oh! My bad! I bet he would have made a great boss too! Just picture it now....Vegeta would be as legendary a boss as the Magus Sisters, Golblez....and errr...ME!!!!!
Aisha: Seph...
Sephiroth: Yeah?
Aisha: SHUT UP!
Sephiroth: Okay.

> that he tried to pretend to be.

Aisha: He wasn't very good at pretending, was he?
Ukyo:  ::Shakes head:: No, but the Pretenders are probably good at it.
Aisha: Be quiet! You're not allowed to make corny jokes on my watch, missy!
Ukyo:  ::Blinks:: Okay, you must not be very perceptive because all the other corny jokes passed by you easily.
Aisha: Errrr yeah well...THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT!!!!
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops:: Not that again, it doesn't even make sense this time. Not that it really did last time...
Aisha: Ummmm. ::Using a deeper voice:: I WILL EAT YOUR HEART!
Ukyo: Riiiiight, Aisha, just stop.
Aisha:  ::Using her normal voice now, much to the happiness of Kami:: Fine!
Ukyo:  ::Puts up a sign that says `No devils allowed':: There, now you don't have that excuse anymore Aisha. Surely any supernatural demons and devils who see this sign will be compelled, by the sheer *goodness* in their hearts, to turn around.
Aisha: Ummmm, okay...

> ~~~*~~~

Tasuki: *Oh* great! Damn you country music, damn you to country music hell!
Ukyo: Country music hell is as far away from Nashville as possible. Hmmm, it's probably Detroit...
Tasuki: Yep, that'd be correct. Now, move along ma'am.
Ukyo: What are *you* talking about?
Tasuki: There's nothing to see here ma'am, so move along.
Ukyo: Shut up!Tasuki: Okay.

> I can feel the magic

Tasuki: Uh-oh, that sounds like a cue for a Majin cameo.
::Wow, Tasuki is really good at predicting me, isn't he? I'll have to deal with that. Anywho, in a puff of red and...let's say black smoke appears Sae from Maho Tsukai Tai! appears...in her uniform of course::
Sae: Huh? ::Looks around:: Where am I?
Sephiroth: AHHHH! It's a witch!
Ukyo: Seph, how do you know she's a witch?
Sephiroth:  ::Grumbles:: I thought I told you not to start this with me before? Oh well, I guess I'll humor you! *Ahem.* 'Cause she looks like a witch, Ukyo!
Ukyo: That's not good enough!
Sephiroth: Well Ukyo, she turned me into a newt, that she did!
Ukyo: You don't look like a bloody newt!
Sephiroth: I got better!
Ukyo: You were never a newt in the first place!
Sephiroth:  ::Facefaults:: Then *why* did you say it?
Ukyo: Because it's part of the routine!
Sephiroth: Yeah but, you elaborated on the routine! >_<

> floating in the air

Sephiroth: No! That is just wrong! Everyone *knows* that magic doesn't float in the air, it hovers!

> Being with you

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating Faith/singing:: ...makes me sick to my stomach.

> gets me that way

Ukyo:  ::Imitating Faith:: Y'know, the way I get when I'm about to jab a fork into an outlet!

> ~~~*~~~

Tasuki: Wow, that was short and semi-merciful.
Aisha: There is still a little more fic to go, though...
Tasuki: And *that* statement just destroyed any illusion I had of *any* form of mercy being taken by Majin.

> Bulma closed her eyes

Sephiroth:  ::Sarcastically:: Wow, that takes *tremendous* talent!
Ukyo: You're just jealous Seph!
Sephiroth:  ::Still sarcastic:: You know it!

> and leaned

Tasuki:  ::Singing:: Lean on me, something something something, lean on me when you need help carrying on! Just talk to me brother and lend me your hand, because we all need someone to lean on.
Aisha:  ::Starts leaning on Tasuki's seat::
Tasuki: I didn't mean literally lean on me!
Aisha: Oh, whoops!

> forward,

Ukyo:  ::Singing:: I take two steps forward, you take two steps back...
Sephiroth:  ::Facefaults:: Stop that!
Ukyo:  ::Stops singing:: Okay, fine!
Sephiroth: I thought you knew that I was illegal to sing `80's songs up here.
Ukyo: What about all the other ones we sung before?
Sephiroth: Ummm...the devil...
Ukyo: Don't give that crap!
Sephiroth: Heh, I just made it up.
Ukyo: I thought so!

> touching her lips

Tasuki: ....to make sure they weren't chapped or anything. Bulma could never kiss Vegeta with chapped lips! Heaven forbid!

> lightly to his. The kiss wasn't passionate,

Sephiroth: I don't care, I'm not a Bulma/Vegeta shipper...
Aisha: Yeah, your more of a Bulma/Oolong shipper Seph...
Sephiroth: Exactly!

> but one of understanding,

Tasuki: Why couldn't it just be a Hershey Kiss?
::Red flashing lights go off::
Ukyo: Congratulations Tasuki, you made the joke that one of us was bound to anyway! You win one (1) package of Hershey's Kisses, supplied to us by Nestle!
Tasuki:  ::Blinks:: Ummmm, why is Nestle giving us *Hershey* candy?
Ukyo: It's probably poisoned...
Tasuki: Oh yeah, of course.

> letting him know that she accepted him for who he was.

Sephiroth: ...a cold, heartless monster!

> She didn't see his eyes

Sephiroth: ...because her eyes were closed.

> widen in surprise

Ukyo:  ::Imitating a nagging mother:: If your eyes widen too much mister, they'll stick like that!

> before he tightened

Aisha: ...the loose bolts in his neck, then he fed his dragon-half. What a weird Vegeta monster he is!

Note: I bet you were wondering where I was going with that, eh? Now, now, don't lie, it happens to lots of my readers...if I had any... ~_^

> his arms around her waist,

Tasuki: ...effectively causing all of Bulma's vital organs to collapse and bring about her untimely death.
Sephiroth: Oooooo, grizzly. I like it!
Ukyo: Go figure. @_@

> and he simply grunted

Aisha:  ::Imitating Vegeta:: Ugh. Me Vegeta, you love slave! Me want my love now!

> in acknowledgement. She opened her eyes

Tasuki:  ::Gasps:: No, not her eyes! WOW!

> again and smiled at him.

Sephiroth: Talk about an eye sore....geez.

> He didn't return the smile but simply stared at her intently,

Aisha: ...which turned her into stone right away.

> trying to understand her and failing.

Ukyo: Wow, Vegeta really must suck as a boyfriend/lover/husband/whatever the hell you wanna call him.

> After several minutes

Sephiroth: ....a screen saver appeared on her computer, and she cheered and cheered.
Tasuki: It's the little things that make Bulma happy, not the big, important ones.
Sephiroth: Exactly.

> she began to feel

Aisha: ...like a last minute Christmas shopper looking for some decent, inexpensive gifts a hour away from Christmas.

> her weariness

Tasuki: I grow weary of this fic, in general.
Ukyo: We all do, as a matter of fact.
::The voice of MV booms::
Voice of MV: No kidding?
Tasuki: Nope, no kidding!
Voice of MV: Super!
Tasuki:  ::Sweatdrops:: No, it's not super!
Voice of MV: Yeah it is, it's *really* super!
Tasuki: SHUT UP!
Voice of MV: That comment wasn't so *super,* though!
Tasuki:  ::Veins start popping out of his head, and he gets engulfed in flames (I love that in anime ^_^) signifying he's really....shall we say...unhappy::
Voice of MV: Ahhhh! Quick, someone put Tasuki out!
Sephiroth: Okay! ::Pulls a bucket full of water from hammerspace and pours if over Tasuki::
Tasuki:  ::Now all wet and still unhappy:: GAH! I HATE YOU MAJIN!
Voice of MV: Hehe, you're cool too Tasuki! ^_^ Bye now!
::The voice of MV fades::
Sephiroth: Remember kids, only you can prevent Tasuki fires!
Tasuki:  ::Facefaults::

> catching up

Aisha: Hey, can someone pass the ketchup?
Ukyo: Aisha, no!
Aisha: I sure need some ketchup on my hamburger!
Ukyo: Stop it! For the love of Babe Ruth Aisha, stop that!
Aisha: Hey Ukyo, you got some ketchup on your shirt!
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops:: *What?*
Aisha: Uhhhh, I dunno.
Ukyo: Oi! ^^;;;

> to her again, and her eyes drifted

Sephiroth:  ::Singing:: I spy, what do I spy? I spy a pair of eyes drifting, that's what I spy! I spy, what do I spy? I spy a pair of drifting eyes on me!

> shut once more

Aisha:  ::Imitating the author:: ...if you get my drift.
Ukyo: Aisha, for the love of Bob Barker, stop doing that all ready!
Aisha:  ::Back to normal:: For the love of Bob Barker? But nobody likes the Price is Right...
Ukyo:  ::Gasps:: Oh my, I am insulted!
Aisha: Ummm...okay, so I guess people *do* like the Price is Right I guess...
Ukyo: Like it? I'm the number one fan!
Aisha: Riiiight.

> as she felt sleep begin to claim her.

Tasuki:  ::Imitating sleep with a German accent:: Dis girl is mine, you can't have her! Don't make me get a Panzer after you, you little girly girl!

> Vegeta seemed to sense

Tasuki: ...with his sixth sense, he got the fifth element and ummm...stuff.

> that she was falling

Ukyo: ....down down down down down down down down down down down down...SPLAT!

> asleep

Aisha: I've been wondering about this....how do you fall asleep? Do you just faint and go to sleep right away?
Sephiroth: Aisha, you don't literally *fall* asleep.
Aisha: Oh well....they shouldn't say it then.
Sephiroth: Ummm, who's they?
Aisha: You know, them!
Sephiroth: Them who?
Aisha: THEM! THE GOVERNMENT!
Sephiroth: Riiiight.

> again, as his hand drifted

Sephiroth: The next five paragraphs are censored because this is a public access satellite, thank you.
Tasuki: That doesn't even make sense...
Sephiroth: So it doesn't, who cares?
Tasuki: Nobody really does, really...
Sephiroth: Precisely!

> gently up and down her back,

Sephiroth: Uuuuugh blanch, wince, cringe, flinch, etc.
Ukyo: I don't think you're supposed to say those words, you're supposed to *do* them. They *are* verbs after all...
Sephiroth: Yes, good point.

> caressing her

Sephiroth: Oh come on, you make the jokes too easy!
Ukyo: Seph, *no!*
Sephiroth: All right, I won't touch the joke today! But I normally would!
Ukyo: I know, I know!

> soothingly as a mother

Aisha: Vegeta is one crazy mother-
Ukyo: Shut yer mouth!
Aisha: I'm only talkin' bout Vegeta!
Ukyo: I can dig it!

> would a child.

Tasuki: ...or as soothingly as a Las Angles police officer caresses their nightstick.
Aisha: Tasuki, you promised us that you wouldn't do that joke!
Tasuki: Sorry, I *just* had too!
Aisha: Well, you have an apology to make to the LAPD! NOW!
::A few LAPD Officers are teleported up to the screening room, courtesy of your evil host...me! ^_^::
LAPD Officers: APOLOGIZE NOW SIR!
Tasuki: Sorry!
::The LAPD Officers then start beating Tasuki for a bit::
Aisha: Okay, he learned his lesson guys. Here you go! ::Hands the police officers a few dollars::
LAPD Officers: Thank you ma'am.
::The LAPD officers get teleported out of the screening room without any flashing color flashes or puffs of magical smoke::
Tasuki: Oi, my hernia!
Aisha: You don't have a hernia...
Tasuki: Well, I'll get one if they keep coming up here!
Aisha: True...

> He shuddered, trying to block out the emotions washing

Sephiroth: Oh great, now Vegeta is going through the rinse cycle! Will the washing ever cease? Will it!?!?!?!
Ukyo: Doubtfully...
Sephiroth: NOOOOOOOOO!
Ukyo: Quit being so melodramatic, Seph!
Sephiroth: NOOOOOOOOO! ::Blinks:: Errr, I mean, okay.
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops::

> through him, but failing completely.

Sephiroth: That's because Vegeta forgot to use Mr. Clean!

> It was then for the first time

Ukyo: ...that Vegeta *didn't* wet the bed.

> since he'd arrived that night that he spoke.

Aisha: Wow! It's *about* time somebody said *something* in this fic! Geez, all of the silence was creeping me out!
Tasuki: Of course, we made up for all of the silence with all of our *craaaaaazy* riffs!
Aisha: Yeah, true. ::Blinks:: By the Tasuki, are you feeling okay?
Tasuki: Yeah, I just felt like saying craaaaaazy.
Aisha: Riiiight.

> "I

Tasuki:  ::Imitating Vegeta/singing:: ...am too sexy for my spandex body suit, too sexy for my spandex body suit, too sexy for my spandex body suit, so sexy it hurts. I'm too sexy for my hair, too sexy for my hair, so sexy I don't care. I'm too sexy for this song, for this song, because this song is just so wrong.
Ukyo: Okay, *never* sing a one-hit wonder song again Tasuki...especially with the word `sexy' in it that many times. It just isn't cool! Besides moron, *I* already did that joke!!!
Tasuki:  ::Back to normal:: Yeah, I kinda agree, on the other hand, you gotta admit that I'm pretty sexy though...
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops:: Ummm, no.
Tasuki: Okay then!

> won't

Aisha:  ::Singing:: ...you take me to, FUNKY TOWN!

> leave you again, woman."

Sephiroth: You know, in the Japanese version he says, and I quote, "Get your bitch ass into the kitchen and make me some damn pie now, woman!!" Bulma then replies with this catchy comment, "Don't make me knife you to death, punk!!"
Ukyo: That's some pretty gruesome stuff.
Sephiroth: You see, that's why anime fans hate bad dubs!
Ukyo: Errr, I think you made that up though.
Sephiroth: Yeah, I did, but that is *so* not the point right now.
Ukyo: Ummm, yeah it is.
Sephiroth: Shhhh! Be quiet! People can read what we're saying! If they knew I was lying, they wouldn't like me anymore!
Ukyo: Seph, you're an evil villain dude who destroyed half the solar system and almost destroyed the Earth, why would people *possibly* like you?
Sephiroth: Uhhhh, I have cool silver hair?
Ukyo: Okay, that *is* true. All right, I see your point now...

> Although his voice was only a

Aisha: ...voice, Bulma knew that it would soon become a *real* boy!

> rough

Ukyo: What sound does a dog make?
Sephiroth:  ::Using a phony clueless voice:: I don't know Ukyo, what?
Ukyo: Ruff!
Sephiroth:  ::Forces some laughs:: That was *pretty* darn funny Ukyo!
Ukyo: I know!

> whisper, her eyes opened instantly, wide with amazement,

Tasuki: She was *surprised* that she could see again!

> and she pulled back slightly to stare into his face.

Aisha:  ::Imitating the author:: She was making sure that all of the parts weren't broken, because if they were she'd return Vegeta for a refund.

> She studied him,

Aisha: It must have been study hall! ::Rim shot::
Sephiroth:  ::Facefaults:: That's really corny and....non-related to the topic, really.
Aisha: Yeah well, it's getting near the end of the MST. Everyone knows that when we get near the end our corny riff factor goes up 99%.
Sephiroth: Wow, I know that now.

> surprised and puzzled,

Tasuki: She was puzzled because she had a Rubik Cube.

> her face frozen

Ukyo: She should take it out of the freezer then...

> in her shock.

Ukyo: If she didn't want to get shocked so bad, she should stop putting metal objects into her outlets.
Sephiroth: Wow! Aisha *was* right about that corny factor going up dramatically!
Ukyo: What are you talking about Seph? We *always* do jokes like this!
Sephiroth: Oh yeah. ::Sweatdrops:: You guys sure do suck!
Ukyo: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DOES MOST OF THE CORNY JOKES!
Sephiroth: Heh.

> But she could see nothing

Sephiroth:  ::Puts his hands over his eyes:: See no evil.
Aisha:  ::Puts her hands over her ears:: Hear no evil.
Tasuki:  ::Puts his hands over his mouth, which obviously would mean his words are muffled:: Speak no evil.
Ukyo: Ummm guys, what did Tasuki say?
Sephiroth: I don't know, I couldn't see his mouth move...
Aisha: ......
Tasuki:  ::Makes more muffled sounds::
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops:: Bakas!
Sephiroth: I am not a baka Aisha! Errr, that was Aisha that said that, right?
Ukyo:  ::Grumbles::

> in his expression except the same fierce possessiveness and hunger
that he'd shown from the first moment that he'd arrived that night.

Aisha: He ate ten cows and two oxen that night...

> What was he saying?

Sephiroth: Nothing really, because you'd have to speak to say something.

> That he cared?

Aisha: No, he just said that he wanted you to stop thinking so damn much Bulma!

> Did he mean it?

Ukyo: I think we should start asking dumb rhetorical questions too!
Sephiroth: Okay, cool! *Ahem!* If you live in the desert, is your neighbor's sand more yellow than your sand?
Aisha: If it's not broke, don't fix it. So, if you buy something that's new and it was never fixed, do you have to break it?
Tasuki: If you choke a Smurf, do they turn blue?
Ukyo: If knowledge is power, and power is corruption, and corruption is a crime, and crime doesn't pay, then does knowledge ultimately leave you broke?
Sephiroth: If a con is the opposite of a pro, then what's the opposite of progress?
Aisha: If the Psychic Friend's Network are psychic, why do they have to ask you your name?
Tasuki: If the prices in Wal-Mart keep falling, then why isn't there anything there that's free?
Ukyo: Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?
Sephiroth: What did they go back to before drawing boards were invented?
Aisha: Why do you wait until night to call it a day?
Tasuki: Why do they have brail on drive through ATM machines?
Ukyo: Do blind dogs need seeing eye people? Okay, that's enough of that. I want to finish this MST before I loss more of my ever-slipping sanity.

> She'd never expected those words from him,

Tasuki: ...as a matter of fact, she didn't expect *any* words from him.

> but she knew Vegeta, and he'd never say something he didn't mean.††

Aisha: Oh yay! We get *two* whole footnotes at the end of the fic! That means we get to stay here *longer*, oh yippy!
Sephiroth: I feel the exact same way Aisha, I feel the exact same way...

> She continued to study

Tasuki:  ::Grunts:: Stupid geeks, all they do is *study* all the time! Stupid Bulma!
Ukyo: Hey Tasuki, what about stupid dorks?
Tasuki: Dorks don't bother me!
Ukyo: I bet I know why!!!
Tasuki*Why?*
Ukyo: Because you're a dork! ^_^
Tasuki: GAH! >_< I CAN'T WAIT TO GET OFF OF THIS STUPID SATELLITE!
Ukyo: Me too Tasuki, me too.

> his face, to try to read

Aisha: You can't read a face....well, unless someone writes on it.
::The voice of MV booms::
Voice of MV: Heeeey! You're not allowed to mention something that would ultimately cause me to make a cameo appearance!
Aisha: What are you talking about?
Voice of MV: Nothing, never mind...since I did a Maho Tsukai Tai! cameo all ready I won't be able to do *another* one. Damn you, and having Takeo Takakura come up here would have been fun too! Damn you!
Aisha: Ummmm, okay......but didn't you do three DBZ cameos and two FY cameos?
Voice of MV: Yeah, I might have, but I can't do two Maho Tsukai Tai! cameos damn it! It's against the law of anime! >_<

> the meaning beneath
his words. There was no softening

Sephiroth: Y'know, softs get rid of petrification. Keep that in mind if you ever get stoned kids!
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops:: Ummmm, I think the kids might get the wrong idea there...
Sephiroth: Why? How can someone get the wrong idea by getting stoned? It's not like they can help it.
Ukyo: Seph, think of the *other* meaning of that word.
Sephiroth:  ::Blinks:: Yeah, what about it?
Ukyo: Nevermind, baka! ::Sweatdrops::
Sephiroth: What? What? I don't see what's so bad about telling the kids they need to carry soft potions just in case they get stoned!
Ukyo: Gah! Why don't you just tell them to carry mirrors too?!?!?!
Sephiroth:  ::Blinks:: Huh? Why would they need mirrors. ::Double blinks:: Oooooo, now I get it! Heh, kids...don't try to get stoned! It's baaaaaaad!

> of his features, no smile, nothing but that intense gaze.

Tasuki: In other words, the usual.

> Yet somehow she could sense that there was more beyond his words.

Tasuki: That was probably because she had the Webster Dictionary Sense.

> He hadn't said that he loved her, and she had the feeling that he
might never do that, but for now -- for now she felt that this might
just be enough.

Ukyo: Hey guys, I think the fic is ending soon!
Tasuki: Yeah, we sorta realized that by ourselves.
Ukyo: Oh, good job then!

> She smiled then,

Aisha: The MSTers then frowned when they saw the next paragraph. "This sucks!", said Aisha rather bitterly.
Ukyo: Would you stop narrating your life here?
Aisha: All right, I guess.

> one hand drifting to his face

Sephiroth: Uh-oh! Bulma is gonna knock Vegeta BANG, POW, straight to the Moon!
Tasuki: One of these days Seph, *I'm* gonna knock *you* bang, pow, straight to the Moon!
Sephiroth: How kind of you! ^_^
Tasuki: No, not really.

> and touching his

Sephiroth:  ::Coughs:: Please, this is a PG-13 rated MST, you can't include that word in here.

> cheek

Ukyo: Yeah Seph, the word `cheek' really corrupts the kids reading this.
Sephiroth: It does! It does! It really does!
Ukyo: Uhhhh yeah....I doubt it.

> gently, and then she snuggled

Aisha: Folks, Snuggles the bear reentered the fic!
Ukyo: And he's still trying to accomplish his evil task of selling
fabric softener, don't be scared! He we *go* away!

> closer to him again.

Tasuki: Ugh....these paragraphs are *too* damn long! Just end fic, end!!!!!
Aisha: The more we talk, the longer it takes.
Tasuki: Gah! What an evil invention!

> Once more his arms tightened

Sephiroth: ...just like a vice grip.

> around her, but now she felt the fierce

Sephiroth: Oh, she *felt* something *fierce* all right, if you know what I mean! ::Raises eyebrows a few times just to emphasize::
Ukyo: Well, here we go again. ::Takes out the spatula thing and smacks Seph over the head with it once again::
Sephiroth: @_@ Did anybody get the number on that bus?

> protectiveness of his embrace

Tasuki: Oooo! I have an idea, let's drop a nuclear bomb on them and see how much Vegeta's embrace protects Bulma!
Sephiroth: Yeah! That would be interesting to see! Killing people is fun! Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!
Ukyo: Ummmm, I think Seph is going crazy up here. Either that or he had a brain transfusion with Kefka.
Tasuki: Hmmmm, that's a hard call.
Ukyo: I know!
Sephiroth: Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!
::Everyone sweatdrops::

> as well as its possessiveness.

Aisha:  ::Imitating Vegeta:: That sentence is mine! That embrace is mine! That protection my embrace is giving you is *mine!* That chain saw that I'll kill you with tomorrow is mine! Everything is mine! Mwahahaha!

> She felt sleep begin to claim her again,

Tasuki:  ::Imitating sleep:: Haha Vegeta, this girl is *not* yours anymore! She is mine!
Aisha:  ::Imitating Vegeta:: No, the woman is mine!
Tasuki: Mine!
Aisha: Mine!
Tasuki: Mine!
Aisha: Mine!
::They continue arguing like that for a few more minutes::

> but just when Vegeta was beginning to wonder if

Ukyo: ...Wonderbread was really *that* good for you.

> she was going to say anything, she finally replied.

> "I know, Vegeta."

Ukyo: Translation:  "I know that you must kill yourself because you're a horrible husband, Vegeta."
Sephiroth: Translation:  "Vegeta, where's my car?"
Tasuki: Translation:  "I'm smarter than *you* are Vegeta, nyah-nah!"
Aisha: Translation:  "My army of darkness will soon come to Earth,
Vegeta, and you'll be their first sacrifice! Mwahahaha!"

> It was only a faint

Sephiroth: Yes, Bulma fainted! Whoo-hoo!
Ukyo: Bulma didn't really faint, Seph...
Sephiroth: D'oh!

> whisper,

Aisha: If it was faint how do you know it was a whisper? Maybe it was a faint murmur, or a faint mutter, or a faint undertone.

> but Vegeta heard it

Tasuki:  ::Singing:: Do you hear what Vegeta hears, what Vegeta hears, what Vegeta hears?

> and he sighed

Tasuki:  ::Imitating Vegeta:: Damn it, she knows! She was supposed to say she didn't care! Damn it, this changes my plans for tomorrow *completely!* Why did she have to go and care? Damn it! >_<

> in relief.

Aisha: ...comic relief that is.
Sephiroth: Isn't that our job?
Aisha: Yeah, well, it is!

> He had no idea

Ukyo: Is that supposed to be something *new?*

> how

Tasuki: Well hello to you too!
Aisha: Tasuki, you aren't a Native American, so shut up!
Tasuki: I am so!
Aisha: No, it's impossible for you to be one!
Tasuki: But my mom always said I can be anything I wanted to be!
Aisha: Well Tasuki, your mom lied `cause you're Chinese! Baka!
Tasuki: Don't patronize me!
Aisha: I *just* did!
Sephiroth: Hey Tasuki, ::Produces an empty bag of chips from hammerspace and tosses them on the ground:: Doesn't polluting the environment make you want to shed a tear?
Tasuki: No, we live on a satellite for Suzaku's case! This thing all ready pumps out *enough* pollution, thank you!
Sephiroth: Errr...okay, whatever.

> he'd gained this woman's trust

Ukyo:  ::Grabs a wooden sign from hammerspace a la Looney Toons that says `Hard to believe, isn't it?' on it::

> after everything he'd put her through,

Aisha: ...including sleeping with her tonight.

> but somehow, against all odds,

Aisha: ...were the army of evens, who wanted to liberate the card deck from the odds tyranny forever!

> she trusted him.

Sephiroth:  ::Imitating the author:: ...the fic about that trust will be entitled `Stop Hogging all the Honesty, Vegeta.'

> He continued to stroke

Sephiroth:  ::Coughs:: *Ahem!* I thought I warned you about this all ready! This explicit content will make the rating *jump!*
Tasuki: Seph, shaddup yer face!
Sephiroth: Errr Tasuki, you're not an Italian American either. You're Chinese, you fool, Chinese!
Tasuki: Hmmm, maybe that explains why I was born in ancient China...

> his hand up and down

Ukyo: Now would be a *great* time to insert a bad techno song into the fic.

> her back

Ukyo: And I bet that Bulma deserved Vegeta's brutal hand stroking retaliation too!
Sephiroth: I think Mia meant back as in...the body part.
Ukyo: Oh well then we just made the meaning different, as usual.
Sephiroth: Yeah true, that is our job, for now anyway, after all.
Ukyo: Exactly, so get off my case!
Sephiroth: I'm not on your case, I have my own case! I'm a lawyer!
Ukyo:  ::Sweatdrops:: You *are* not!
Sephiroth: Yeah, I'm not, so what's the big deal?
Ukyo: Nevermind! >_<

> as she fell asleep

Aisha: Uh-oh, now Vegeta is going to kill her while she dreams of sugar plums and stuff...

> in his arms before he allowed himself to drift off as well, the 
beginnings of peace finally finding their way into his heart for the 
first time in his life.

Tasuki: ...they were then destroyed in a matter of seconds by his war-loving antibodies.

> ~~~OWARI~~~

Tasuki: YAY! It's over! YIPPIE!
Aisha: Don't we still have them footnote things at the end?Tasuki: Oh yeah, how diabolically evil!

> †

Sephiroth:  ::Blinks:: What the heck? I thought there were supposed to be footnotes here?
Ukyo: Yeah, me too. Hmmmm, maybe that little symbol is supposed to be a really small cross?
Sephiroth: Naw, that would mean that the footnotes were supposed to be holy?
Ukyo: Well, I don't know. Who cares?
Sephiroth: Yeah, good point!
Tasuki: Yes, we get to leave!
Aisha: Hooray!
::The four MSTers exit the screening room::

Note: That was the way I got the fic, without the footnotes at the end, so I can't really MST `em if I can't see `em...now can I? Oh well.

************

::Majin's screen floats down to make the usual post-MSTing comments::
MV: Why hello team MST! ::Blinks:: Hmmmm, that one didn't even make sense, oh well. Anyway, I'm impressed that you survived the fic! I'm definitely surprised! I thought at least one of you'd go insane or something, what with all the random cameos and voice-overs by me and all.
Tasuki: Don't worry about that Majin, the spam pretty much drove us over the edge. We're actually doing well with normal fics though, considering we've been exposed to the worst thing first.
MV: Hmmm, now why'd I do that? Oh well, I can always find much worse things! Do any of you have a fondness for Power Rangers movie scripts?
Ukyo: NO! Power Rangers in general are evil!
MV: Yeah, true....that'd be a bit harsh.
Ukyo: Phew!
MV: For me at least! I'd have to read the dumb thing first! On the other hand, it would cause you much more beneficial torture! Mwahahahaha!
Sephiroth: I don't think torture can be beneficial Majin...
MV: Sure it can, I can allow me to get answers Seph!
Sephiroth: What the hell is are you *talking* about?
MV: *You* know!
Sephiroth: Whatever...
Aisha: Majin, you baka!
MV: Yeah well, put-downs will just get you more harsh stuff!
Aisha: Damn it!
MV: You can always vent your anger on the poor fics that get sent to you! That makes my job more fun! ^_^
Ukyo: I hate being here!
::The three other MSTers all nod in unison::

***FIN***

My friends, after working on this MST for two months or so, the end is finally here! I have some mixed feelings about this, `cause this thing was *so* fun to verbally rip apart...and on the other hand, I'm just glad to have finished it. It has got to be my biggest MST project to date, which is saying a lot considering the average size of my MSTs. Super neat-o, huh? Anyway, I'm *always* searching for fresh meat to rip apart! If you have a fic you don't like so much, or you like it a lot even, and are willing to have every facet of it to be destroyed, then send me the fic at hellmasterfibrizo@yahoo.com! That'd be all my comrades, until next time...keep your feet in the stars, and keep reaching for the ground....or something. Oh, and please review? Please?

Stinger Clip: Goku had died, and they couldn't bring him back again.

The MSTing of Breathe - part 1