The MSTing of My Take On Why...

The MSTing of My Take On Why...
By: Majin Vegeta (naturally ^_^)
Original Fic By: Mr. Crash

Disclaimer: I have permission to MST this fic, as usual.

Notes: I had to cut the title a bit cause it was really long. Also, if you read the 2nd part of my MST of "Dream a Little Dream" you should realize that I'm shifting casts and doing a more MST-like theme. Anyway, the new cast shall be Vegeta from Dragonball Z (how fitting for a DBZ fic ^_^), Kuno from Ranma 1/2, and Lina and Amelia from Slayers. The first part (until it gets to the fic) is mostly for plot purposes.

Anyway, on with the show I say!

************

Well the great fanfic author (or not) Majin Vegeta just recently obtained power on the MST satellite. With his new found power, he would force all of his favorite characters to MST fics that he chose. It was the perfect plot that seemed oddly similar to the basic plot of another show for some reason.

So anyway, Majin went about on his mission to nap characters. Vegeta was first to be napped because it was just so fitting for Vegeta to MST a fic that he was mentioned in. Kuno was the next napped just because he's a cool character and if he didn't MST this fic it would have been another one anyway. Finally Lina and Amelia were napped just because...well because.

************

The MST 3K theme song plays

MSTer Role Call!

Vegeta (I'm named after a vegetable!)
Kuno (Everyone was kung fu fighting!)
Lina (Beef, it's whats for dinner!)
Amelia (I keep a toolshed of justice in my back yard!)

************

::The four MSTers look around the satellite they just appeared in::
Amelia: Nani? Lina-san where in the world is this?
Lina: I don't know Amelia!
Amelia: You don't have to yell at me!
::Suddenly a small screen drops down that has Majin's face on it::
MV: Hello friends! I see you all made it here! Excellent! You are the new replacement MSTers! Lucky you! ::Cackles insanely::
Kuno: Huh? I was just about to proclaim my love to Akane Tendo!
MV: ::Snickers:: Ja, right!
Kuno: Cretin!
MV: ::Shrugs:: If you insist, but it ain't getting you off the satellite comrade Kuno.
::Before Kuno can give a speech about how he doesn't deserve to be here because he's the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, Vegeta says something::
Vegeta: ::Growls:: MAJIN I'LL KILL YOU!
MV: ::Smirks:: Some things never change I see!
Lina: MAJIN YOU BAKA, LET US OUT OF HERE!
MV: 'Fraid I can't do that oh kawaii one. You can't leave! Now then....get ready for the fic! Buh bye! ::The screen goes back to where it came from::
Amelia: That's unjust!
::A small red light starts flashing::
Vegeta: I saw this before. ::Grunts:: We got fanfic sign.
::The cast walks through the six doors like they have on MST 3K, albeit hesitantly::

6...
5...
4...
3...
2...
1...

> ***

Lina: ::Using a narrative type voice:: In the beginning there were stars.

> My Take On Why Vegeta and Bulma Ever Fell In Love

Vegeta: Oh this should be amusing. ::Scowls:: I already hate this fic.
Amelia: Awww this fic is so romantic!
Vegeta: You just saw the title you BAKA!
Amelia: That was unjust!
Lina: Here we go again. ::Rolls eyes::

> A Highly Cynical Documentary
> By: Mr. Crash

Kuno: Mr. Crash...Test Dummy!

> ***

Vegeta: If I see another one of those things I will hurt somebody.

> See title.

Everybody: Okay. ::Look up at title:: Wow, that title is impressive!

> Keep in mind, this is written by a very cynical person

Kuno: Is this part of the story?
Vegeta: No you idiot!
Kuno: Okay then. ::Narrows eyes:: Hold your tongue you spiky-haired heretic, I am the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High School and thou shall not use my name in such a manner.
Vegeta: ::Smirks:: Whatever baka.
Kuno: You fiend!
Amelia: This is unjust!
Lina: Oh boy, this is going to be a looooong day.

> (and I‚Äôm not being funny),

Lina: No kidding.

> so many people may dislike or hate what I‚Äôve written.

Vegeta: So far, I hate it.

> ***

Vegeta: That's it, I'm killing somebody! ::Fires a Ki blast at a nearby room::
Amelia: That's unjust!
Vegeta: I can care less.

> A commonly asked question is

Kuno: ...why did they ever make green ketchup?
Vegeta: ...why did they make Dragonball GT?
Lina: ..how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Amelia: ..why did the chicken cross the road?

> why Vegeta ever exposed himself to the weakness of falling in love.

Vegeta: ::Scowls:: What kind of moronic question is that? Why the hell do people even bother writing stuff like this? People actually care about what happens to anime characters *that* much?
::The voice of MV can be overheard::
Voice of MV: Yep!

> There is no obvious answer;

Lina: ...to the reason somebody writes Vegeta and Goku lemon fics.
Vegeta: Nani? People write stuff like that? ::Powers up to Super Saiyajin:: THAT'S IT, I'M KILLING EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM RIGHT NOW!
Lina: Chill out, it was only a joke.
Vegeta: ::Powers down:: Oh. ::Crosses arms:: That wasn't very funny. Stupid flat-chested girl.
Lina: WHAT DID YOU SAY? ::Glares at Vegeta:: DO YOU WANT TO LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER DAY VEGETABLE?
Vegeta: BRING IT ON!
Amelia: Please stop fighting Lina-san, Vegeta-san.
Vegeta and Lina: CAN IT JUSTICE GIRL!

> love slows and distracts one from training, Vegeta (at the time) considered
it a weakness,

Amelia: Love isn't a weakness Vegeta-san, love is a gift!
Vegeta: I didn't say anything moron. It's from the fic.
Amelia: Oh...::Sweatdrops::

> and Vegeta is the last person to expose

Kuno: ...his new film in the black room.

> his feelings.

Vegeta: No I'm not! I hate this stupid fic. Happy now?

> Now, one argument is "Vegeta couldn‚Äôt help it; ‚ÄòLove conquers all‚Äô."

Amelia: Love *does* conquer all! ::Insert long justice speech here::
Lina: ::Sweatdrops:: Would you cut that out already?
Amelia: Okay Lina-san!

> This, I believe, is pure bullshit.

Amelia: ::Gasps:: How unjust of Mr. Crash-san! He used a naughty word!
Vegeta: Can you be anymore annoying little girl? Kami, you're worse than Kakarotto!
Amelia: I will not stand for this, this is so unjust!
Vegeta: I couldn't care less about your opinions. ::Smirks::

> If a person has spent his entire life killing, enslaving,

Kuno: Fiend! You are exactly like Ranma Saotome! How dare you enslave women, you enemy of all women!
Vegeta: ::Punches Kuno in the face:: SHUT UP!
Kuno: ::Sinks down in seat all afraid like:: You'll pay for that...later.
Vegeta: ::Smirks:: I heard that you know.
Kuno: ....

> and being taught that only fighting matters, then they will be able to
suppress a certain feeling.

Lina: Well I'm taking a wild guess here, but I doubt that feeling would be anger. Vegeta obviously doesn't suppress his anger.
Vegeta: ::Glares at Lina:: Do you want to die that much?
Lina: Vegeta, can you please leave? Your ego is so big it's starting to suffocate me.
Vegeta: THAT'S IT, NOW YOU DIE!
::Nothing happens::
Lina: Uh-huh.
::The voice of MV can be heard::
Voice of MV: Sorry Vegeta, it's against *my* policies to hurt bishojo.
Vegeta: ::Mutters something about killing Majin one of these days::
Lina: ::Blushes::

> My proof of this is people who are
>

Kuno: ::Imitating the author:: Hold on let me think of it.

Note: The fic came with this big space so I'm just MSTing what I see. ^_^

> racist; even though people are not inferior,

Vegeta: Since when? People *are* inferior. And I know girl, it's unjust blah blah blah. Just don't talk you little brat.
Amelia: ::Facefaults:: That's unjust Vegeta-san!
Vegeta: I thought I told you not to talk?
Lina: Can your ego get any *more* inflated?
Vegeta: SHUT UP ALREADY!
Lina: Uh-huh, if you insist. ::Rolls eyes::

> racist people can push back rational thought enough to believe that they are
above a certain group of individuals.

Vegeta: This sounds like a Psychology book for Kami's sake.

> Another idea is that Vegeta has always been hiding the fact that he‚Äôs a guy
with feelings.

Amelia: Awww Vegeta-san, you don't have to hide that!
Vegeta: ::Scowls:: Again brat, the *FIC* said it, NOT ME!
Amelia: Well it's a story about you...
Vegeta: Did anybody ask you?
Amelia: Ummm no Vegeta-san.
Vegeta: THEN SHUT UP!
Amelia: ::Pouts::

> I think that, just like before,

Kuno: He thought before? Amazing, simply amazing.

> a guy who has spent his entire life

Lina: ...collecting stamps.
Vegeta: I have quite the hefty stamp collection built up, in fact.

> killing without mercy is going to have any feelings to hide.

Amelia: I'm confused, so because Vegeta-san was killing without mercy he *has* feelings to hide?
Kuno: Yeah you know, he killed so many people and stuff that he forgot how to have other feelings.
Vegeta: Oh please continue to talk about me like I'm not here. YOU BAKAS!

> Yet a third argument is that,

Lina: ::Imitating the author:: my grammar is exceptionally bad.
::The voice of MV can be heard::
Voice of MV: Nobody can beat *my* record though!
Everyone: We know...we know.

> if Bulma had feelings for him, then her love grew on him.

Kuno: Just like a vegetable at a farm. Only in this case the love was grown on Vegeta.

> I disagree that she had love for him; why in God‚Äôs name

Vegeta: ::Imitating Kami:: You're asking me? You're the one who came up with this fic!

> would she like a man who tried, and nearly succeeded, to destroy her planet?

Amelia: Vegeta-san, you tried to destroy a planet? That's...that's...HORRIBLE!
Vegeta: Do I care? No.

> And, on top of that, killed the man she was dating?

Vegeta: I never killed that baka Yamcha.

> Now, this is where my opinion comes into play.

Kuno: ::Imitating the author:: I think that Cheese Whiz will be the new rave in the cheese business.
Lina: ::Also imitating the author:: I think that the sky is really green, we're just seeing it wrong.
Vegeta: ::Imitating the guy who wrote the fic:: I think that red Jell-o can be used as a plastic explosive.
Amelia: ::Imitating the author as well:: I think that justice is really great, and I want to become a Senshi of Justice just like that gorgeous hero of justice, Amelia Wil Telsa Syluun!
::Everyone but Amelia roll their eyes::

> Bulma didn‚Äôt have _love_

Kuno: _And that's the bottom line!_
Lina: No it isn't Kuno.
Kuno: What do you mean?
Lina: ______________________________
Kuno: Hmmmm?
Lina: *That* was the bottom line!
Amelia: That wasn't funny Lina-san.
Lina: I know Amelia, I know.

> for Vegeta; she was _lusting_ for Vegeta.

Vegeta: ::Grins:: Damn straight. It ain't my fault I'm so damn hot to the ladies.
Lina: Yeah sure, maybe if you got a haircut.
Vegeta: ::Glares at Lina:: Well maybe if you got a boob job you'd be more attractive.
Lina: WHAT DID YOU SAY?! THAT'S IT, YOU'RE GOING DOWN YOU LITTLE MONKEY! Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows...
Amelia: ::Looks scared:: Ahhhh! Amelia-san not *here!*
Lina: ::Ignores Amelia and continues the chant::
::Majin uses his author powers to prevent Lina *or* Vegeta from Dragu Slaving/Fireballing/Big Bang Attacking etc the satellite::
Lina: Damn it!

> I mean, just look at the guy:

::Kuno, Amelia, and Lina all look at Vegeta::
Kuno: Now what oh wise author?

> strong, masculine, a fighter; this guy

Vegeta: Here I thought you meant *that* guy. ::Scowls::

> (not including hair,

Lina: See? The author agrees with me about your hair!
Vegeta: SHOVE IT.

> height, and attitude) is the model of male perfection (not trying to be
sexist here).

Amelia: Is there such a thing as male sexism?
Kuno: Yes!
Amelia: ::Blinks:: How do you know that Kuno-san?
Kuno: Well, I'm a guy...
Amelia: Yeah I know that but I mean how would you know the answer to that question?
Kuno: Just because I do.
Amelia: Oh, okay then.

> So of _course_ Bulma is going to start wanting Vegeta.

Vegeta: ::Smirks:: Oh of *course*. She wanted me, I didn't want her. That is *exactly* right.
Kuno: You enemy of all women!
Vegeta: Are all three of you people stupid?
Lina: Naw, your brain is just incapable of understanding normal conversation.
Vegeta: ::Blinks:: MY NAME IS NOT KAKAROTTO, IDIOT!
Lina: Now I see where Majin gets the last part of his name from. ^_^
Vegeta: SHUT UP!
Lina: Yep, it's all so clear.

> What I think happened is Bulma wanted Vegeta, and she got him; via a fling.

Kuno: And Bulma flung Vegeta just like a slingshot flings a rock.

> Bulma and Vegeta basically had a one-night-stand.

Amelia: Why were they standing up for one night Lina-san?
Lina: Uhhh...go ask Xelloss later.
Amelia: Alright! ^_^

> Ah, but how twisted God‚Äôs sense of humor often is.

Vegeta: ::Imitating Kami:: Like you have a better sense of humor then I do? I *am* Kami after all, I created this planet and stuff. Cut me some slack, will you?

> Yeah, they only had sex once, but that was enough to create Trunks.

Kuno: ::Blinks in confusion:: How do two people mating make a pair of shorts?
Amelia: Two people mating? NANI? ::Covers her ears:: Oh, my poor just virgin ears! That's *what* that means! HOW UNJUST!
Everyone but Amelia: Oh shut up!

> And this is where I think all other arguments started;

Vegeta: It's the Big Bang Theory for arguments.

> Vegeta then became a nice guy (to a certain extent, of course).

Lina: Vegeta? Nice? That doesn't seem to make sense to me.
Vegeta: Nobody asked you baka.
Lina: The truth is the truth.
Vegeta: In that case, you're an anorexic. You always eat but never gain wait. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that you have some sort of eating disorder!
::The voice of MV can be heard yet again::
Voice of MV: Hey now, no mocking my favorite bishojo!
Lina: ::Blushes:: I can handle myself, geez.
Vegeta: I'LL KILL YOU MAJIN, SO SHUT THE HELL UP BAKA!
Voice of MV: Yes sir.

> Vegeta started taking pride in his son. After all, Trunks wouldn‚Äôt be
around if it weren‚Äôt for Vegeta.

Kuno: Thank you for stating the obvious.

> So Vegeta probably thinks of Trunks as ‚Äòhis‚Äô.

Vegeta: Trunks *is* mine. I own him.
Amelia: Slavery is unjust Vegeta-san!
Vegeta: Not in that way you idiot.
Amelia: Oh.

> And after all, he doesn‚Äôt want people messing with ‚Äòhis‚Äô stuff.

Kuno: Just a wee bit possessive, aren't we Vegeta?
Vegeta: Just go back to your stupid school and get beat up by your two idiot 'girlfriends.'
Kuno: Villain! ::Makes a dramatic speech, Vegeta doesn't pay any attention::
Vegeta: ::Yawns:: Your poetry is as bad as Majin's fanfics.
Kuno: Fiend! Nothing in the world is *that* bad!
Vegeta: Well, I have to agree there.

> I think that, yeah,

Lina: ::Imitating the author:: Yeah, I think all right.

> Vegeta (at least by the end of the Majin Buu saga)

Vegeta: Majin? WHERE IS THAT BAKA?
Lina: No Vegeta, Majin Buu, not Majin...you.
Vegeta: Oh. ::Crosses arms:: Be quiet.

> is a caring parent.

Amelia: ::Blinks:: I don't think Vegeta-san is a caring anything.
Lina: ::Applauds:: Way to go Amelia!
Vegeta: BAKA!

> When his son was born, _that_ was when love first came forth.

Kuno: And here I thought love came forth on Valentine's Day, silly me.

> And then love grew on Vegeta,

Lina: So in other words, love is a parasite.
Amelia: Lina-san!
Lina: What?
Amelia: Love is not a parasite!
Lina: Okay then, chill out would ya? Can't I even tell a joke?
Amelia: No Lina-san!

> which slowly took over him, until he was truly a loving, caring guy.

::Kuno and Lina laugh hysterically::
Vegeta: SHUT UP YOU BAKAS!
::They continue anyway::
Amelia: If it's any constellation Vegeta-san, I think that you are a nice person.
Vegeta: Gee thanks, coming from a girl who is in love with a chimera, I feel *almost* flattered.
Amelia: ::Blushes:: Vegeta-san, that's unjust!
Vegeta: Oh shove it.

> Yeah, people, you‚Äôre gonna disagree with me,

Vegeta: ::Imitating Woody Allen:: If you don't I'll just die.

> but that‚Äôs okay. I don‚Äôt expect everyone to agree with my theory.

Lina: ::Imitating the author:: In fact, I hardly agree with my theory myself.

> ***

Amelia: Those are the real...stars...of this fic!
::Drum roll::
Lina: Oh come on Amelia, that was really corny.
Amelia: I know.
Vegeta: Even FUNimation rejected *that* line.
Amelia: Vegeta-san...::Pouts:: why are you so mean?
Vegeta: Because I can be.

> Feedback appreciated.

Kuno: I wouldn't have said that if I were him.
Lina: ::Clears throat:: I think I'll start with the 'feedback'. *Ahem*
::Everything gets censored out::
Voice of MV: Hey hey, none of *that* here!
Vegeta: Majin, you moron.

> I want to know whether or not people agree with my thoughts.

Vegeta: I totally disagree with you and your thoughts, baka.

> I am currently working on a sequel to this.

Lina: Oh Kami, I hope we don't have to MST that one too!

> It‚Äôs called "My Views On The Trunks/Pan/Marron Love Triangle." I‚Äôd
appreciate people telling me if they want me to write this.

Lina: NO! DON'T WRITE IT!
Vegeta: Yeah, I can care less about those three brats.
Kuno: Please, for the love of Kendo, do not write another fic like this!
Amelia: I liked this fic you guys.
Everyone but Amelia: It figures...

> ***

Kuno: Oh wow, it's already over. We lucked out.
::The four MSTers get up and walk out of the theater and back into the satellite::

************

::A screen drops down with Majin's grinning face appearing on it::
MV: So guys, how'd you like this fic?
Vegeta: In two words: it sucked!
MV: Oh good! I'm glad you liked it Vegeta-sama! Cause, this is the first of many I'll be sending your way! ::Cackles::
Vegeta: When I get off of this stupid hunk of metal, you are such a dead man.
MV: Not if I'm still living Vegeta-sama. ^_^
Vegeta: BAKA!
Lina: They really hate each other, ne?
Kuno: No, I think Vegeta really hates Majin. I could see why.
MV: Hey Kuno-sama, I haven't done anything *too* bad with you yet!
::Cackles:: Well....uhhh nevermind.
Amelia: ::Yawns:: I'm tired. When are we going to MST the next fic?
MV: Sore wa himitsu desu! ^_^
Everyone: ::Groans::

***OWARI***

Ja ja! It's the end it's the end! I hope you like this MST as much as you liked all my others. Well, I really don't care if anybody likes this MST at all, I had fun and that's all that matters. It would be nice to get some really good reviews though. (Ahhhh, the power of suggestion. ^_^)